My life has been full of ups and downs, as far back as I could remember.

My parents were never together, all I could think was it was my fault. And then when I was 12, my mom told me they were never even together, “I am a mistake” is all that kept running through my head. So I went on keeping my secret, it tore me up inside but I didn’t want to tell my family cause I didn’t want her to disown him. Then when I was about to be in 5th grade, on the fourth of July, two of my brother’s friends tried to rape me. I was so scared and I felt like it was my fault. I didn’t tell my mom about it…I usually tell her everything but this I can’t say. I’ve been in counseling but it’s such a sensitive subject that I don’t even know how I would go about telling my family. I have a seven-month-old son and when I hold that stuff in. Sometimes, my secret gets to be too much and I think I can’t take the pain anymore.

I have tried to kill myself and sometimes I think about it. My son is the only thing that keeps me going.

What should I do?