7 Things to Know About Your Girl During Pregnancy

Your Girl During Pregnancy!

#1 – It’s tough and she’ll feel all the things

Pregnancy isn’t the easiest thing in the world. That’s a reality. It’s one of the most beautiful things in the world, but it’s not going to be a walk in the park. There’s morning sickness (largely in the first trimester), emotional roller-coasters, random back pain, some “unique” cravings for foods, and having to pee way more than normal. Knowing these things – and really understanding them – are going to help you be there even more for your girl.

Being patient if her hormones are out of whack, refraining from a joke that wouldn’t be appreciated, and reminding her that you love her will all take loads of stress off of her body and mind.

#2 – Because of #1, she really needs you to be understanding and supportive (and not try to always fix everything)

Right now, she’s counting on you. Perhaps more than she’s counting on anyone else. You being her rock is going to make the difference between her feeling alone and scared, and her feeling loved and brave. You are one of the people she is looking to the most for support right now. This means even though it may be hard, don’t go walking out. She needs you most right now, don’t let her down, bro.

As guys, we often feel like we walk a tight line between wanting to always fix our girl’s issues and remembering that sometimes she doesn’t want them fixed – sometimes she just wants you to listen. Because pregnancy can have the extra accompaniments mentioned above, your ability to know when to just listen will be beyond appreciated.

#3 – Remember that the baby is your child too

Not only remember this, but act like it and let her know you know it. You can ask her how “our little guy” is doing, check if “my two favorite girls” are feeling better this morning, and share your dreams of a family vacation in the future. This will remind her that you’re 100% in it with her. She may feel judged by people in her life regarding being pregnant. Whether or not people really are judging her isn’t as much the issue here – it’s whether she feels accompanied by you and whether she knows that you are in this with her. The more that you take ownership and visibly act as her teammate in this, the more she will feel supported and taken care of, and the more your relationship will grow.

#4 – Body image struggles are very real during pregnancy

Even though you know that she still looks amazing – and often radiant with that pregnancy glow – she might have times when she sees that scale or looks at her legs and feels uncomfortable in her own skin. The scale will most likely show a number larger than she’s ever seen before, and combined with the emotional ups and downs due to hormonal changes, this may contribute to body image struggles. Just know and understand that she’s not being ridiculous or something – it’s just a real struggle, but you can help. Every day, in small ways and big ways, remind her how loved she is, how gorgeous she is, and how attractive you find her. It really can help her out.

#5 – Do all the little – and big – things to support her and make her feel loved

Flowers, talking, listening, massages, love notes, movie nights, game nights, helping support her getting plenty of sleep and good nutrition – all the way to going to doctor’s appointments with her, standing up for her, and giving up things that she has to give up during pregnancy, will help make her feel incredibly supported and cared about by you. Your presence, your kindness, your love, your listening, and your sharing will help her immensely, will develop a deeper bond between the two of you, and encourage better parenting together for your little baby.

#6 – Learn about pregnancy and raising a kid!

Not only will this be something that the two of you can do together (which will strengthen your relationship), but it is also something that just makes sense! There are many resources out there to help you, not only on our website (click here for our extensive resource page) but also at the local pregnancy center that we can refer you to. Learning about how your girlfriend’s body is changing, how your baby is growing, and the needs of both of them will help you to assist them in staying healthy. Hey, you might really be able to impress her by learning all this stuff too…

#7 – Be excited! You and your girl are having a baby!

Is there nervousness, or worry, or uncertainty that comes with pregnancy and a new child? Absolutely! But never let those natural responses drown out the amazing reality that is unfolding. There’s a lot of hard work ahead, but also ahead of you two (well, you three) is so much excitement and adventure. Fasten your seat-belt, brother, it’s going to be a great ride!

The Heart of a Man

What is a man? What are we defined by? Is it our successes in the workplace, the amount of money we have or the cars we own? I would say, simply, no. I would say that a man is defined by what he strives for, what he lives every moment of his life for. This is how we can tell who a man is. Somewhere we know this, know that we must live for more, strive for more. This is what all of us as men want. We want to throw ourselves full-force into the adventure of life. We all want to live lives of virtue—to be noble, courageous, confident, enthusiastic, strong, and wise. But there has been a roadblock set up between us and the man we want to become. There is a battlefield in our world and in our hearts between life and death.

The culture has built this blockade up, telling us that to be a man we can and should take rather than give of self; that we can dominate rather than serve, and be mediocre rather than great. But we all want more than this. And we know it. We want to live life with a drive, to be filled with an energy that makes our lives lights to a world so in need of them. We want to be dependable to our friends, to our families, to our girlfriends and wives and to our children. We want to be towers of strength for those in our lives who need strength and reassurance.

We want a challenge, an adventure to live. As young boys, we dreamt of being knights, storming the keep and rescuing the princess. We dreamt of standing atop the medal podium while our country’s anthem played in front of 100,000 fans. We saw pictures in old magazines of Sir Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norgay, for the first time ever conquering the heights of Everest and felt a burning desire to climb high. Deep down inside all of us, we know this to be true, but all too often this desire for greatness may be covered up by the allure of mediocrity that the culture offers to us. We want to be alive, but we cannot become so if we remain slaves to the culture’s model of success and happiness. Because it is not these things that make us truly alive. It is not these things that bring us true and lasting happiness and peace.

Why is it that when we hear stories of men’s valor in war or of an athlete overcoming all critics and battling through injuries to win the crown of laurels, we are inspired, filled with hope, and the human spirit comes alive within us? We hear of the man who, in order to save the lives of his fellow soldiers, leaps onto a live grenade, giving his life in the process. We hear of a man who, in the midst of the one of the most difficult periods of American history, enters the boxing ring with a broken wrist, taking upon himself all the pain that this would bring because entering the ring was the only way to feed his family. What of the man who, as if in direct opposition of a regime who deemed him less than human, became world champion in that regime’s very own national stadium? Or the men who sailed through 800 miles of frozen ocean in order to find help for their stranded comrades? Brothers, these real stories awaken something within us because these are the things that truly correspond to our hearts. The things of the culture which tell us to take rather than give, to domineer over others rather than serve them, and to settle for mediocrity rather than challenge ourselves cannot even compare.

To some men, speaking of the heart may seem anything but manly—but that could not be further from the truth. We need look only as far as one of the great virtues men are called to live out—courage (from the French “coeur”, meaning “heart”)—to see that the heart speaks of greatness. The heart is the place within a man where his hopes and dreams take wing, where his passion becomes pure, where his bravery becomes valor, and where his cares become love. Don’t be afraid of that part of you, brother – it’s that part that will make you a tower of strength right now for your girl and for your child.