Hello my name is Rapheal. Of course you probably wonder “why is a boy writing to me?” Well, I’m 18 years old, and so is my girlfriend. My girlfriend and I are pregnant. I don’t want her to have an abortion but she says she going to have one anyway. I gave her half the money because I didn’t want her to think that I didn’t care about her.
One thing that really gets me mad is how when we were having sex we tried it without a condom once and we both liked that better so at one point she told me if you wear a condom we’re not going to have sex. Of course I didn’t care. We both knew the risk we were taking.
When she finds out she’s pregnant, the first thing that comes into her mind is abortion because she doesn’t want to mess her life up. I think being stuck at home is no reason to murder you child. If you did the deed at least be responsible and have your child.
We both have jobs, regular jobs, but it’s enough to get an apartment and pay for some baby stuff, plus i know my mom will help even though i haven’t told her yet.
For a male I’m very disappointed in my girlfriend. I don’t know what I feel right now. I cried this morning after she told me she was going to the clinic today. I cried for my unborn child. I think the male in my situation has no say over anything. I am young but I know I would be a good father to my child. I would give the rest of my life to provide for him.
To be honest I don’t think I could have sex knowing that my dead baby came out of the same place. Thinking of that every time before sex is not something I want to do. I JUST WANT YOU LADIES TO KNOW THAT I DO NOT SUPPORT ABORTION BUT THERE’S NOTHING I CAN DO, BECAUSE THE BABY’S NOT IN MY BODY. Its not fair!
RAPHEAL HARRIS
UPDATE!!!!
Dear Becky,
There has been a great turn around in the last 2 days.
First, my girlfriend didn’t get the abortion because the baby was 3 and a half months and they wouldn’t do it. Also, I told my mother, so things should be better.
RAPHEAL
Dear Rapheal,
wow. I don’t know what to say. Your story is so gut-wrenching. I hope and pray that your girlfriend doesn’t go through with the abortion. Make sure you let her know how you feel…that you want her to have the baby and you want to support her through everything. This can make a HUGE difference. Be strong. Be there for her. She needs you to be strong for her. I know you feel helpless, but there is a lot you CAN do, by reminding that you are inthis together and you want to help her in any way you can.
Until she actually goes to the clinic and has the abortion, there is still a chance that your girlfriend may change her mind. She is probably panicing right now. You need to be the rock that she can lean against. If you speak the truth with love and support, she may be willing to listen.
I will keep you both in my prayers. Please let me know what happens.
Luv,
Dear Raphael,
I am so happy to hear that your girlfriend is going to have her baby. You must be really relieved. She is really going to need a lot of love and support from you during this time. Be there for her. You are a daddy now. You have the chance to make things right.
What precious gift that baby is to you both. Yes, he or she will change your lives in a big way, but change can be good. You will discover things about yourself that you never knew before. You will find you have an inner strength that you never knew you had.
My boyfriend supported me in my pregnancy right from the very beginning. That meant SO much. Seriously, I don’t know what I would have done without him. We ended up getting married and he took it upon himself to provide for the family. I am eternally grateful to him for all of the sacrifices he has made for us.
Girls are standing up and deciding to do what is right and have their baby. Guys need to stand up and take responsiblity for their actions, too. You seem to be doing that. Good for you! I really want to encourage you in that!
Luv,
Dear Becky,
I’d like to tell you my story, if you wish you can put it on your page, because you REALLY helped me.
It started when I was 20, I lived on my own, in a small two horse town in Missouri, I had met a young man, named Billy, we had a relationship in the works of a kind. I wasn’t happy and I wasn’t unhappy, just kinda caught in between. We started not having any relationship of any kind, and one day, I just had this feeling, and I knew I was pregnant. I went to the store that day and bought a home pregnancy test. It came back positive, I had just celebrated my 21st birthday, but while making me an adult, it didn’t make me any less scared.
I went to a gyn/ob to find out if the pregnancy test was right, I did, the ob/gyn came back and told me that yes, I was pregnant, and I was about four months. How I hadn’t realized I don’t know, but I hadn’t. I drove home, had a fender bender on the way home because I was so upset. I knew the baby’s father didn’t care about me, and I was scared of how my family would react.
I went to work, and told the baby’s father I was pregnant during a break at work, I had asked him to talk about it afterwards, but he insisted to be told right then. I told him, and he walked away.
It took me weeks to gain the courage to tell my mom, I finally broke down and told her, she didn’t react bad, she was just like, “What do you want me to do?” My dad was a whole different story, I was TERRIFIED, I love my dad, and didn’t want to lose my relationship with him.
Finally I told him, and to my own shock, he wasn’t angry, he just said alright, smarten up and get ready to take care of that baby. I did smarten up in the weeks after that.
I learned what pain was around six months into my pregnancy, I learned the hard way, I work at a manufactoring plant, and I had over lifted badly, I had pulled muscles in my back, stomache and sides, I couldn’t hardly breathe, each breath was painful. My doctor told me I couldn’t work. I couldn’t even walk at the time. My mom packed me up right then, and moved me home, because I lived 50 miles from the nearest hospital.
I had a nightmare time with my pregnancy, from the day that I found out I was pregnant. I even considered abortion. I really did, I’m ashamed to say that now. But I was scared. I had a phone number of a clinic, but not the nerve, I decided to investigate abortion a little better. I didn’t want to get into anything over my head. When I typed in abortion, here came your page. I opened it up, and I stopped, and I took the time out.
And in the end, I realized that I didn’t want to give up my baby. Because of your page. You made me realize that I was letting fear rule me. For that I have to thank you. Because of you, I have a four month old daughter who is the most precious thing in the world to me. She is mommy’s angel. And because of you, I named her Rebecca Sue, And I call her becky. I hope you don’t mind that I did this, but she wouldn’t be alive if it hadn’t been for your strength and the wonderful thing you’ve done in putting up you webpage.
My daughter was born after 72 hours in the hospital, via c-section. The moment I held her in my arms, I realized she was the most beautiful little miracle I had ever seen. This was my daughter, and I loved her. I cherish her every day, from the top of her blonde little head to the tiniest of her toes. I never dreamed being a mom would be like this. And I’m thankful I was shown how to appreciate it.
Your page has touched me, helped me to decide what was right and what was wrong. You made me take a time out, and think about what I was considering. Right up until I read your page, I was ready to go to that clinic. I kept telling myself that would be easier. I’ve learned something about that “easier”
I don’t want Easy, I want hard, I live hard…and I love hard. I want my daughter, it may be hard to raise her alone, to work a full time job, and spend time with her, it may be hard to survive long hours, hours spent alone with no one but her, But ….And this is a huge But…I’ve learned what love is, how it can touch a person’s heart, I learned that from my daughter, She taught me so much, and continue’s to teach me, I don’t think she’ll ever stop.
So I thank you, not just from me, but from Becky, my infant child, I thank you for helping me to decide what was wrong and what was right. I’m so glad I found your page. And I’m so glad I had Becky. She is my living dream, my hope. I am just so glad that I didn’t take the easy road, that your page made me see that while the road I chose won’t be EASY. It will be worth it. A thousand times Worth it. You have my respect, and my gratitude. And my sincere Thanks.
Cynthia and Becky Sue
From Me to you. My prayers with you, and your family. Many wishes of joy and happiness on you and yours.
Wind beneath my wings
It must have been cold there in my shadow,
To never have sunlight on your face.
You were content to let me shine, that’s your way,
You always walked a step behind.
So I was the one with all the glory,
while you where the one with all the strength.
Beautiful face without a name for so long.
Beautiful smile to hide the pain.
Did you ever know that your my Hero?
And Everything I would like to be.
I can fly higher than an eagle.
Because the wind beneath my wings.
It might have to appeared to go unnoticed,
But I’ve got it all here in my heart.
I want you to know that I know the truth.
Of course I know it.
I would be nothing without you.
Did you ever know your my hero?
Your everything I wish I could be.
I could fly higher than an eagle
For you are the wind beneath my wings.
Did I ever tell you that your my hero?
Your everything I want to be.
And I , I can fly higher than any eagle.
You are the wind beneath my wings.
Cynthia
Dear Cynthia,
Thank you for your beautiful letter. It touched me very deeply.You opened your heart to what was right and you were given the strength and courage to choose life for your child. I am so happy for you and for your little girl, Rebecca Sue.
Children are a wonderful gift to the world. Yes, it definitely isn’t always easy. You have to die to yourself over and over again…day after day. That sacrifice is good, though. It shapes us into better people. We start to look outward from ourselves, instead of just at me, me, me…what I want…what is best for me.
I have found such intense joy in being a mother and it sounds like you have too. I will pray for your and your little treasure, Becky. I am truly honoured that we share the same name.
Please write back if you ever need to talk.
Luv,
Let me introduce myself, my name is Kimberly…. and I’m 32 years old. I have a beautiful 9 year old son, from my marriage of ten years. This marriage ended in Divorce on early September of this year….and it was for the best. I was mistreated and knew I deserved better….it just took the years of courage, strength and saving money to get out on my own and become a single mother. I have done so very successfully with full custody of my son, and things are good between me and the ex, we are friends. 
Dear Becky, 
