As you probably gathered from my other (slightly poetic and aloof) blog entry: my cousin aborted the baby. She has said (or so I heard) that it was her decision so what can I say really? I tried. At least it’s not for the sake of some loser idiot boy (at least I hope), but I can’t pretend I’m not disappointed in her. Not that she needs to know that but still…what’s done is done and cannot be reversed. The baby is gone and her problems are ‘solved’. Bah.
On to my life… Me and my fiancé have decided that it’s better for my mental health that we take a break from all the hoping, wishing, praying, and begging for a baby. We still really want to have a baby, but we both realized that it was making me miserable and everything was getting really stressed. It’s funny because the day I decided to mentally and emotionally step back from the intensity of it all, I realised how much my future husband wants this. It’s not that I’ve changed my mind at all. It’s just that with all that’s gone on over the past few months, our life and relationship has been really stressful and draining. We haven’t just had fun and enjoyed each other for so long and I want that back PROPERLY…to just be US without the stress and strain. I love him so much. I can’t wait to have our baby and we haven’t returned to using contraceptives but have really and consciously said to ourselves and each other that God will decide, what will be will be and when it happens we will deal with it then. Plus my body is only just beginning to come back to normality after being on the Pill (well apparently it takes about 5-8 months) so in actual fact, that may not be the case quite yet and that is something I have to accept and allow nature to work on.
But we aren’t going to get stressed about getting pregnant now (Now! NOW!!) but instead take time to love, cherish, enjoy and appreciate each other and get our life straight. God will bless us soon but it’s up to him to decided HOW SOON…
And I say to all the girls out there who are down, depressed, feeling defeated and inadequate or sad because they haven’t conceived yet…Don’t let it take over your life… Love your boyfriend/fiancé/husband right, enjoy him, and don’t miss out on him because you’ve spent so much time aching for a baby that it’s the only thing you think about (believe me, I can relate!) because you have been blessed with someone that loves you and you can never get the time you chose to be sad about not being pregnant instead of just loving your man back…
Good luck, love, and best wishes to everyone (I’m not leaving Stand-up Girl-just wanted to end my blog with luv for everyone!)
Ch3y xXx
PS. I’m here if anyone wants to talk or needs advice or whatever! 🙂
