Weird Bleeding.

Ok, so I started having weird bleeding. I was having a little cramp. then when I went to the washroom, and wiped there was some blood on the tissue, but no blood clots.

Only like really light like watered down with some brownish (TMI). & no knee aches like when I get my period… Now the cramps have stopped and bleeding only LIGHT LIGHT and really watery, brownish… Plus my PERIOD is not due for another WEEK. And I’ve still been feeling sooo nauseous and sooo tired… So what’s up??

Could it be implantation bleeding??

Angels.

Angels

Once upon a time, there was a child ready to be born.  So one day, she asked God:

They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow, but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?
Among the many angels, I chose one for you. She’ll be waiting for you and will take care of you.

But, tell me, here in Heaven, I don’t do anything else but sing and smile – that’s enough for me to be happy.
Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you everyday. And you will feel your angel’s love and be happy.

And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me, if I don’t know the language men talk?
Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak.

And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?
Your angel will place your hands together and teach you how to pray.

I’ve heard that on earth there are bad men. Who will protect me?
Your angel will defend you – even if it means risking her life.

But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore.
Your angel will always talk to you about me and will teach you the way for you to come back to me – even though I will always be next to you.

At that moment, there was much peace in heaven.  But voices from earth could already be heard and the child, in a hurry, asked softly:

Oh, God, if I’m about to leave now, please tell me my angel’s name.
Your angel’s name is of no importance. You will just call your angel, “Mommy”.

Lost My Little Angel.

It’s the worst feeling in the world.
Knowing your baby isn’t there, that you will never hold him or her.
Knowing you might have been able to stop it.
I Miss You so much, my little angel.
I know it could be for the best.
I wasn’t ready for you, you weren’t ready.
I even had names..,
Cory Shawden for a boy.
or
Sanity Shawden for a girl.
I had a little yellow sleeper that said ‘I love my daddy.’
I think that’s what got you to change your mind. You were excited to to be a daddy, I know you said we can try again… But that little baby will always be my first… Another baby won’t take the place. Even though I want to be a mommy so badly…
But for now, my little angel, you’re in space, a soul just looking for a body.
Just remember to come back to mommy.
I will always love you. <3

Lost My Little Angle.

The worst happened. On Nov 23, I had a miscarriage.  I was so ready to be a mom, I wanted my baby so badly. I had names.
girl and boy.
Sanity Shawden
or
Cory Shawden

I had a little yellow sleeper that said ‘I love my daddy’…
My boyfriend liked that, even though he was the one who wanted me to get an abortion.
He said if I wanted, we could try again.
I’m still thinking, I want to be a mommy so badly.
it was only 3 days after I told my mom. she was happy. She was going to help. She wanted to be a Grandma…
My little Angel is up in space, once again, a little soul, looking for body… For now, I’ll miss you, I still love you. No mater what. You will always be my first baby.

I love u sweetie <3.  When you’re ready, come back to mommy…