It seems like just yesterday when I found out I was pregnant.
Now I’m going into my 6th month. I’m getting more and more excited as the days go by, but I’m also getting worried about some things. I’m away at school, 2 1/2 hours away from my family and my boyfriend. I am so worried that I’m going to go into early labor, my last day of school is May 8th and I am due on May 23rd. I’m so worried that I’m gonna have to deliver by myself without my mother and boyfriend by my side. I’m just hoping for the best in that situation. On another note, me and my boyfriend are nowhere near being financially stable enough to raise my baby girl. We are trying to get it together but I feel like I’m trying harder than he is. Of course, naturally, I wanna be able to provide any and everything that my baby needs. My boyfriend feels the same way but he is being oblivious to the fact that she will be here in no time. He keeps saying we’ve got time…but time is slowly running out. At times, I get really frustrated with him for not understanding but I can’t stress myself out.
Any way…I’m am just really excited about motherhood and just holding my little girl in my arms.
Okay, so now I’m 14 weeks and my mood swings are really starting to kick in.
I love the father of my child to death, and I know he loves me, but some days, I just want to choke the life out of him. I know this sounds harsh but at times I feel like he just isn’t listening to me. In my head, everything I tell him (during my mood swings) makes so much sense but he acts like I’m speaking French or something. I get so mad at him that I feel like our relationship will just not work, then 10 minutes later, I’m all lovey-dovey with him again. I know it’s super confusing for him, as well as it is for me. I know I’m not the only pregnant girl who has these mood swings. I just don’t want this to put a huge strain on our relationship. At times, I start to feel bi-polar because I cry, yell, and act crazy then at the same time, I want to smile and tell him how much I’m in love with him. Now don’t get me wrong, there are relevant reasons for my arguments with him, but in the end, I do take them extremely too far.
I really just don’t know what to do with my hormones…
Just last week, I found out I was pregnant. This is so very hard for me because I am in my first year in college away from home. My boyfriend lives back home and just got a job the day that I found out I was pregnant.
Although I was terrified, I told my mother and she eventually told my father. They both are being very supportive of me even though I know they are extremely disappointed. This is very hard because my father does not like my boyfriend and talks down on him so much that it makes it hard to look at this situation with a positive outlook. I’ve already begun to plan for my next years in college. My main priority for me and my unborn child is for me to finish school so that I can sufficiently provide for my baby. I know it’s going to be very hard because it’s not easy being a 19-year-old mother. I’m looking at the future, hoping that the father of my child will be there, and not end up like his father, but I know there is always that chance that he could be gone in a New York Minute. I have tried to make a plan that involves him and one that doesn’t so in the event that he does leave I won’t be all alone without one clue as of what to do.
The best advice my mother gave me so far is to plan and look to the future, because adults don’t break down and let the situation get the best of them. They take the situation and guide it in which direction they want it to go in.
