This is an update from my last forum post…

I don’t know what to do anymore. I want to do the right thing. I want my baby to be happy, but I want to be happy too… See, all my life, I’ve been living, trying make everyone else happy (maybe that’s why I’m anorexic)… Working so hard to make everything easy for everyone else, I’m really really sensitive, and I worry a lot from other people’s feelings… So this thing with my boyfriend… I’ve been working so hard to make him happy, that I’m forgetting all about my happiness…. And even though he’s been a jerk, we’ve been through a lot of things together and he’s a great dad, that sometimes I’m really scared to lose him, but there’s other times when I don’t know if I still love him… Sometimes, I wish he had dumped me when I told him I was pregnant…

He may come today to my house, and I don’t know what would happen. I would have a serious chat with him. I will ask him for the last time if he still loves me… If he says no… Well, I’ll try to figure out how to continue my life having to see his face everytime he wants to see our baby while my heart brokens in a thousand pieces…

If he says yes, I’m going to tell him that if its true, that if he really loves me and respects me,,, He’ll wait until we get married to have sex, well actually, to make love, (for me its not the same thing) and I’ll tell him that if wants this relationship to work out that he has to respect me. He’s has to stop all that crap he’s been telling me…

We’ll see how all this ends. I’ll keep all of you updated. Any advice would be gladly accepted.