Anybody got some New Year resolutions they would like to share???????
Mine are:
1: To keep up in school
2: Start making better choices
3: Learning how to make the best out of a terrible situation.
4: Start taking better care of myself, and who I surround myself with. (Friends or anyone)
5: Stop thinking about negative events, stop looking back on regrets, and make a better future for me as well as my family.
It’s weird to think that if I was pregnant, I would be 28 weeks and 2 days along. The due date was March 3rd. I have no regrets about the pregnancy scare, but I thank God each day that I’m not pregnant today.
But I do have regrets about the relationship with my ex. I didn’t deserve to be with him. I was a bragging right to him, to get in my pants. And I know that I may sound mean saying this, but it’s true. After our relationship ended (because of my depression and not wanting it to affect him), he became a total jerk. I tried being friends with him, not wanting to ruin our friendship and childhood together, but he didn’t want to be friends. He told me either we were together or nothing at all, and I said I just wanted to be friends and that there should be a middle choice, but he said no and walked away from everything.
Deep inside, I know it was for the better. We don’t talk at all nowadays. But in November, he texted me and sent me a friend request on Facebook. I replied to neither. It’s what he wanted, wasn’t it? To not be friends? No contact? He asks my friends how I am. They say I’m happy and together with another guy who I’m inseparable with. He says he’s happy for me and that he wants to talk to me more, but I say that’s never going to happen. After being such a jerk to me and not wanting to talk to me, he got what he wanted, and now he wants to talk to me? No, it’s not going to happen. And I’m not going to say sorry either, because there’s nothing to be sorry about at all.
Maybe I shouldn’t have regrets, you know? Cause now, I want to wait to have sex. I want to save myself for the perfect guy, and not have to worry about pregnancy scares when I’m 16 or 17 or 18 and so on. But I’m not saying that I want to save sex for marriage but at the same time I do… I don’t know it’s confusing.
But now, I believe I’ve met the perfect guy. I thought I was in love with Bailey, unconditionally in love with Bailey. But I was wrong. I watched this show about this woman who speaks to schools about sex and she said, “You know you’re in love when that person respects you and your values. And if you were to draw a boundary on how far you want to go in your relationship, they wouldn’t pass it.” And that made me realize things about the past relationship with Bailey. I told him I didn’t want to go far or anything, and he stepped over the line. FAR over the line.
And the guy who I’m with now and who’s the perfect guy, knows I don’t want to go down that road again. It’s like… I had to travel that road with all the bumps and cracks and crappy weather just to lead to the road where the road is smooth and the weather is absolutely perfect. And it’s actually funny too cause he said he wants to save himself for the perfect person too and that the perfect person is me. I replied, “What if I want to die a virgin?” and he said, “Then I will die a virgin too.” He has the same values as I do and respects me. And I respect him and his values.
I’m sure I’m in love with him. 100% sure. Before we started going out, my heart beat with no meaning, just trying to get through the day, you know? And now that we’re going out, He’s the meaning of my life. I can’t picture my life without him, at all. I went to Mexico in November for a week. And I was so homesick without him. It’s like my heart was ripped out of my chest and I had this lonely feeling in my chest. Colors weren’t as bright… Nothing was right. And plus, I couldn’t call him or text him. The only way how we could communicate was through Facebook chat.
But when that Monday came, and when I first saw him after first period… My heart was back in my chest. And when we hugged, time froze. It was just us two in the crowded hallway. Nobody around us; just us. Hand in hand walking down the hallway, with grins stretching across our face and ending at our ears.
I know what some of you might say: “You’re not in love. It’s only puppy love” or “You’re too young to be in love” or something like that. I know I am. I am. I am. I am. This is not me convincing myself that I am. It’s me telling you guys I am. If this isn’t love… then what does love feel like? Is it really that much greater of a feeling? Cause when we kiss.. the world stops. I get butterflies, my heart races. If I’m in the same room or building as him, I have butterflies, blurred vision, I can’t think straight, and I forget things so easily. You can’t tell me this isn’t love. I know it is. I love him unconditionally.
He’s the meaning of my life. <3
It’s the second Christmas since the abortion. I thought the first Christmas was bad enough, but I had him in my life; The father of the baby. He has now passed away.
There was a car accident. Myself, my mother, father, sister, and him. No one survived, but me. I’m not going to go into detail about the car accident that is not the whole, entire point of this blog.
I’m now seventeen. I had my abortion when I was fifteen. The father of the baby and I stayed together and we went through so much together. We broke up because of my moods and I just wouldn’t talk to him. I wouldn’t talk to anyone. I finally opened up to him and that blossomed a lovely relationship between us both. He had confronted me that he wanted to try for a baby come New Year. I still hadn’t told him yet that due to the complications of my abortion, I cannot carry children. It broke his heart when I told him, but he was there for me more than anything.
I want to go to uni to study dance, to be a dance teacher. This is why I blame myself. If I had kept my baby two years ago my family and I wouldn’t have been on our way to watch a dance I so desperately wanted to watch as it would help my A-levels. We would of been anywhere but there, with a beautiful baby.
My mother. father and sister died instantly. I miss them so much.
But he didn’t. He was hanging on in there. I believe to give me my message.
The message to me was..
‘Please be happy, I will love you forever and always. AJ is looking down on you and he/she does not hate you, they understand and love you deeply. I’ll tell AJ you miss them. I can tell they miss their mummy. Amz, I love you’.
That was the last thing I ever heard him say. I will never forget the last kiss we had.
My message in all of this is. Don’t let anyone decide your future, it’s yours for a reason. It will be hard, everyone knows that. But make sure it’s your own. That way you wont question for the rest of your life…
‘What if?’.
Last month, I missed a few pills and my boyfriend and I had sex a few times. Unprotected, I believe.
A week later, I had a light flow when I was supposed to have it a week or 2 later. Then when it came time to actually get my period, I never got it. All I’m doing is looking up signs of pregnancy and it’s constantly on my mind. I haven’t told my boyfriend I sorta missed my period but I don’t want to scare him if I don’t have to. I’ve had a lot of discharge and it’s of normal consistency, but it’s the only thing that’s on my mind…
Any suggestions?
Hi everyone,
I’m only 16 and I’m 12 weeks pregnant. The father left and doesn’t think I should keep the baby. When I told him, he wanted me to have an abortion, but I couldn’t kill someone who didn’t ask to be put there.
My mom was not happy when I told her that I was pregnant, but she is okay with it now. She is giving me lots of support and is helping me out financially.
My brothers and sister are more than overjoyed. My siblings are all younger than me and I can’t leave the house without my youngest brother kissing my belly.
I work in a family restaurant. Many families consist of babies. So I usually see at least one baby a day.
Since I have had an abortion, seeing babies is very hard for me, I feel a pain in my heart that just won’t go away. But this past week has been especially hard for me, and today was no fun. I was walking through the restaurant, all the while talking to a boy who I was training, when I made eye contact with one of the cutest babies I had ever seen. He had these huge blue eyes that seemed to be looking right into my soul. I literally stopped in my path and stared at this baby for nearly a minute when the boy I was training brought me back to reality. I apologized to him and to the parents who had noticed how I was staring at their child. Then I ran into the back and locked myself in the bathroom. I fell on the floor and began sobbing hysterically. I knew people would be able to hear me, and most would think I was some insane girl crying in the bathroom. But I just couldn’t help it. As soon as I saw that baby images from the sonogram popped into my head and I couldn’t help it.
I’m so sorry, baby. I wish I would have let you grow. I wish I could have held you in my arms.
