We spent a lot of time together that month. It was as if I was getting my “attention fix” the way a junkie would from a line of cocaine. I soaked up all the attention he was willing to give and enjoyed every moment of it.
The end of this shallow relationship, however, was inevitable. When it came, I did my best not to feel the sting of rejection. I finished out the semester’s classes and exams, but only with the help of my friend, Captain Morgan. Together we made it through just fine.
We spent a lot of time together that month. It was as if I was getting my “attention fix” the way a junkie would from a line of cocaine. I soaked up all the attention he was willing to give and enjoyed every moment of it.
The end of this shallow relationship, however, was inevitable. When it came, I did my best not to feel the sting of rejection. I finished out the semester’s classes and exams, but only with the help of my friend, Captain Morgan. Together, we made it through just fine.
After her finals, my friend came to my apartment to spend the weekend with me. The day before she arrived, I woke up feeling extremely nauseated. I had been out drinking the night before and assumed that a nasty hangover was to blame. As the day progressed, I continued to feel worse. A nagging thought in the back of my mind began to surface: Am I pregnant? I looked at the calendar, trying to remember the date of my last period. I began to panic when I realized that it had been more than a month and a half since my last cycle. Thoughts raced through my mind and fear began to envelop me. I quickly decided that the thought of an unplanned pregnancy was too much for me to handle, so I ignored the possibility and went to work as if nothing was wrong.
The next day, my friend arrived. I didn’t know how to share my predicament with her. She had always warned me about my ways with men, but she didn’t understand that I wasn’t just making bad choices; I was suffering from an addiction. Over the course of our friendship, we had shared many hurts with each other. I knew I could trust her, that I could always lean on her in a time of need. So I just poured out my dreadful situation to her. The news of my suspicions affected her deeply and we embraced. We cried together, then went to the store together to buy a pregnancy test.
On the way home, we stopped for lunch. As soon as we ordered our food, I excused myself and hurried to the ladies’ room, unable to wait any longer to know the truth. I stood in the bathroom stall and watched with complete disbelief as the little plus sign gradually appeared. Desperation consumed me. Hot tears rolled down my flushed face.
As I returned to our table, I felt as if everything was happening in slow motion. I handed my test result to my friend and muttered, “I think we have a problem.” She glanced at the plastic stick, then looked up at me. “What will you do?” she asked with deep concern. “I don’t know,” I said as a feeling I can only describe as shock came over me.
When we got into the car to leave the restaurant, I pulled out my cigarettes. My friend, a nursing student, yelled at me. “You can’t smoke now!” I replied intently, “If ever in my life I needed a cigarette, it’s right now!”
Before going to bed that evening, I closed my eyes and whispered, “Help me!” As I expressed that desperate plea for rescue, the Lord showed me something I will never forget. It began like a movie playing out in my mind, almost like a dream, though I was still awake.
The gynecologist wasn’t in that day, so his wife attended to me. She asked me a couple of questions, and then asked me to lie down on the bed. On pressing my stomach, she frowned a little and said, “You could be pregnant”. Yet until that very point, I still could not bring myself to face the truth and so I replied, “I had been doing sit-ups all these time, could it be the reason why my stomach is so hard now?” She nodded and answered, “It could be” and proceeded to squeeze some gel onto my stomach.
Then, the prediction came. She moved the ultrasound scanner over my stomach and then she said,…
Dear Becky —
On November 8th, I went to the doctor to get my infection checked. It was itching really badly, and I thought maybe that was the reason why I had missed my period for the past seven months. I stepped into the clinic that morning, and was greeted warmly by the nurse, who took down my particulars and then, I was ushered in to see the doctor.
The gynecologist wasn’t in that day, so his wife attended to me. She asked me a couple of questions, and then asked me to lie down on the bed. On pressing my stomach, she frowned a little and said, “You could be pregnant”. Yet until that very point, I still could not bring myself to face the truth and so I replied, “I had been doing sit-ups all these time, could it be the reason why my stomach is so hard now?” She nodded and answered, “It could be” and proceeded to squeeze some gel onto my stomach.
Then, the prediction came. She moved the ultrasound scanner over my stomach and then she said, “There, the baby.”
I was in shock. I couldn’t even cry. Instead, I was trembling all over.
She took some measurements and asked me if I wanted a copy of the ultrasound scan. I couldn’t even open my mouth to say ‘yes’, so, I nodded as a reply. She handed me the duplicate copy and sat me down, and asked me what I was going to do.
All I remember saying was I didn’t know… She understood, and proceeded to tell me that I needed a blood test since this had been my first check up. Since the gynaecologist was overseas, the doctor asked me if I could come in for a check up next week. I told her I had to reconfirm again since I had school. Then, she asked me again whether I was going to let my parents know. I shook my head and told her that they couldn’t know about this. She understood and told me she will let the nurse talk to me.
The nurse told me I had two choices – either keep the baby or give the baby up for adoption. I was in a daze. Then, she gave me some pre-natal vitamins and a cream to apply for my infection.
The check up was over…
I walked home, lost. A few minutes later, I called my boyfriend and broke the news. He went quiet for about a second, then he said, “Don’t worry, everything will turn out fine. I will be here for you, OK?”
That was when my tears fell. I was lucky enough to have him standing by me, supporting me. At that moment, I realize I had chosen the right guy.
I hadn’t had any pregnancy symptoms at all since I’d missed my period -except that time I spotted twice (but the spotting did not occur anywhere near my period) and I felt very tired for a couple of weeks in June (That was during the first trimester).
Other than that, I led my life as a normal girl. I was small for my size, so my stomach wasn’t very visible. I began to realize why I didn’t want to get myself tested. I didn’t want to abort the fetus in case I discovered I was really pregnant. Now that I was seven months along, abortion was naturally, out of the question.
This baby was a gift from God…
On the 18th of November, I went back to the clinic for my appointment. The nurse asked me what my choice was going to be. I told her I don’t have any other except to give the child up for adoption. She then called the lady from the adoption agency down to the clinic while I went in to do my check up. The gynecologist introduced himself to me and proceeded to do my blood test and another ultrasound scan. When I went out, the lady (let’s call her Alice) had arrived. She talked to me for a while and proceeded to tell me that everything regarding my pregnancy will be paid for and etc.
I couldn’t keep the baby. I was only 18, still schooling and not earning an income.
If only I was older…The nurse asked me to go for a more detailed scan at the hospital. I agreed. Alice then said she will bring me along to do the scan and asked me to confirm the time with her again. On the 24th of November, I went to the hospital. The scan took about half-an-hour, and at the end of it, the radiologist doing the scan for me told me that the fetal heartbeat was very strong. I was relieved. The details of the scan were made known to me the following week – I was already 32 weeks along. Everything was normal with the baby, except that the gender was still unknown. The only thing was the baby weigh merely 1.7 kg. The nurse then told me over the phone to consume more ice-cream and chocolates, to at least get the weight up to 2.0kg. So I began eating desserts like I had never before. All I want for the baby now was for it to be healthy. After all, it was the only thing I could give to the baby…
I started using the Doppler on the 10th of December. The baby’s heartbeat stayed above 130, and I was not showing any signs of contractions, which was good. Then, I ask for the re-prescription of an anti-inflammatory cream. That was when my gynecologist realized I couldn’t give birth vaginally and had to do a C-Section. This was because my varicose veins were really bad. If I give birth naturally, I will bleed heavily.
I was scared. I knew it was going to hurt. My boyfriend then comforted me and told me that it won’t be as bad as it seemed.
My next appointment was on the 24th of December. I was already 36 weeks along. The heartbeat of the baby remained strong. My gynaecologist proceeded to check the weight of my baby, which turned out to be 2.3 kg. He smiled at me and said “There, your baby is healthy.” I was so relieved. Everything went well. My parents didn’t know a thing. However, my boyfriend’s mom suspected since my stomach could be seen from some angle. We got through her by telling her I had a bad case of gastric.
I was scheduled for my C-Section on 1st of January 2007. The nurse told me I will never forget this day. She was right. Before giving birth, I thought maybe getting over this situation would be the best thing. But now, I have different thoughts about it. My baby girl was born on an early 1st January 2007 morning. She was healthy and weight 2.35 kg. When I set my eyes upon her, I fell in love with her immediately. She slept often, and seldom cried. Her hands and feet were so beautiful. When I carried her, she stirred in my arms and opened her eyes for a little moment, and then closed it again. I kissed her on her forehead and she stirred. I thought I saw her smiled at me.
I spend three days (I was discharged on the third day) in the hospital,
Recovering quicker than other cesarean patients. My stomach had return to its normal post-delivery size, and I could already walk normally.
On the day of my discharge, we went with Alice to register her birth. I parted from my baby at about 4 pm.
Now, whenever I look at the pictures I had taken of my darling, my tears just flow uncontrollably. If only I was older… I could have kept her. I could never celebrate her first month on this world with her; I could never celebrate her birthday with her. If only…
But darling, just know that mommy will always love you, and be with you in your heart. I didn’t want to let you go, except I didn’t have a choice…
I will love you always, no matter where you are…
Autumn
Dearest precious Autumn
Tears are rolling down my face right now as I read your e-mail and so wish that we could be sitting looking at each other over a hot cup of coffee or cocoa!
Autumn – you chose a choice that though, painful right now, it has a taste of distant sweetness. Your precious little baby lives today and is in the loving arms of 2 very happy, loving people. You are a Stand Up Girl that I will never forget.
You see, Autumn, I had to even take a step back before finishing this e-mail because as my lonely tears flow… I wish that my tears of loneliness could be shared with you and like yours because I wish I had chosen live and adoption like you did. Only my tears of loneliness will echo with a painful choice I made with no answer in site. Though your tears are tears of pain, there is hope and love for your daughter, Autumn!
You chose a very difficult choice – BUT – you chose so right! You chose a most loving and sweet option that, though painful, it was so good and so right.
There may even come a day that you will be able to hold your daughter and I just know that she will thank you ever so much for loving her so much that you gave her life.
I really believe that so many girls will be touched by your loving story!
Thank you so much for your e-mail.
Luv Lisa
Although most of the glossy mags and rags spoke of Evangeline Lilly’s embarrassment, the ‘Lost’ beauty has nothing to be embarrassed about in her counter to Hollywood’s flesh-show habits.
She took a stand and her TV bosses had to re-write the script.
The stunning brunette, who plays bad girl Kate in the hit drama, was determined not to strip naked in front of the cameras.
She told Arena magazine: “When I got the first draft of the pilot episode, there was a nude scene in there. So before I got the job, I said to JJ (‘Lost’ creator JJ Abrams), ‘You need to know I’m a bit of a prude and nudity is something that I’m going to be adamantly opposed to’.
“When we came to shoot the scene, it had been rewritten for me to be in a tank top and underwear, and I really appreciate that they made it more modest.”
The 26-year-old is engaged to co-star Dominic Monaghan and plans on having children.
A few days later, I began to feel weird. Everything I smelt made my stomach upset and I just wanted to constantly vomit and I did. I thought that I might be pregnant, but I didn’t want to get our hopes up so I didn’t say anything.
I waited until it was time for my period again and when it didn’t come, I knew without a doubt that I was pregnant. I told my boyfriend that I thought I might be Pregnant
A week before my seventeenth birthday, my boyfriend of five months and I decided that we were going to be together forever and we knew this because we love each other so much. Knowing this, we knew that we wanted children together. So on that very day, we began the process. A few days later, I began to feel weird. Everything I smelt made my stomach upset and I just wanted to constantly vomit and I did. I thought that I might be pregnant, but I didn’t want to get our hopes up so i didn’t say anything.
I waited until it was time for my period again and when it didn’t come, I knew without a doubt that I was pregnant. I told my boyfriend that I thought I might be Pregnant and he was happy he said that if I was that he would be very happy. He told me how much he loved me and that he would be so happy if I were pregnant. So a few days went by and still no period… So I went to the store and bought a pregnancy test, the test I bought had to in the box. I took one test the same night and it was negative so I knew that that was wrong so I waited the next day and took it when I first woke up. The test read positive and all I could do was cry I cried for about an hour.
I called my boyfriend at work and told him the good news. He was so nervous he dropped the phone. He called back and from the sound of his voice, I can tell that he was smiling. He told me how much he loved me and he kept kissing into the phone. We were so happy but we didn’t even think about our parents. I knew that I didn’t want to face my parents right away so I avoided them. I eventually told my mom and dad and so did my boyfriend. Everybody was upset. My mom and my boyfriend’s mom got over it after a few days but my dad wouldn’t talk to me. I had an appointment scheduled for the following week and my boyfriend and I went together.
We were nervous and excited at the same time. We got a chance to see where the baby would develop and we also heard the heartbeat. It was so exciting. After the appointment, we began to talk about what we would do when the baby was born! And we were so ready. We got the date for our next appointment and we left. A few days before the next appointment, I began to feel some really sharp pains and I didn’t know what was going on. It never crossed my mind that i was having a miscarriage.
I called my boyfriend and told him. He asked me what I had ate and he said maybe the food wasn’t agreeing with me and he said to lay down. I went into my room and laid down. It began to get worst so I called my mom. She told me that maybe it was gas. Nobody thought that their could possibly be something wrong with the baby. It was my first pregnancy so I didn’t know what to expect. I thought nothing else of it until the day of my appointment, I brought it to the attention of my doctor and she got the ultrasound machine. She left out of the room and when she returned, she was accompanied by two other doctors. They all stood around the machine and then the other two doctors left. She turned to my boyfriend and I and told us that our baby had died. And at that time, I felt like I had died to.
ivoryona
Hello –
Oh, I am so very sorry about your horrible experience. This is so tragic and my heart so breaks for you. My name is Lisa and I am from the Stand Up Girl website. I’m so very sorry about your loss and I hope that in time your hearts will heal. I hope that you can now begin to plan your futures together and then maybe begin to plan a wedding (?) 🙂 . Wouldn’t that be a wonderful start to building your family? Thank you so much for sharing your story with us at Stand Up Girl. Please feel free to send an e-mail any time. OK?
Thank you again.
Luv Lisa
Katie and I had a great relationship. We are one day apart. How weird is that? Things got a little crazy at her birthday party. It was around midnight and we went up to her room. We took off our clothes and had sex. Her period was around a month later, but it never happened. I told her to go to the doctor to see what was wrong.
I first met Katie Burns during the 2004-2005 school year. She was in ALL of my classes, which was UNBELIEVABLE! I had the hugest crush on her EVER! Two months after school began, I asked her if she wanted to go out with me. And she said yes. She and I had a great relationship. We are one day apart. How weird is that? Things got a little crazy at her birthday party. It was around midnight and we went up to her room. We took off our clothes and had sex. Her period was around a month later, but it never happened. I told her to go to the doctor to see what was wrong. He told her that she was a month pregnant. And when she told me, I began to panic. Our parents got mad at us. Since my family is Catholic and her’s are Christian, our only options were this: have an abortion or get married and have the baby. Pick which one you think we did.
So, on March 3, 2006, Katie and I became husband and wife. And being four months pregnant when we got married, she looked HOTT in her wedding dress. Then we were told that we were expecting twins: a boy and a girl. She squealed with joy and I passed out.
On August 29, we were watching our favorite movie, A Walk to Remember, when Katie began to groan. I asked her if she was all right and she replied that her water broke. I began to panic. I then called my older brother to drive us to the hospital.
Let me tell you something: I’m glad that I’m a guy cuz labor is PAINFUL and it is SO long! She was in labor for FOUR DAYS! Finally, on September 2, we welcomed our son, Christopher Issac, and our daughter, Soleil Isabelle, into the world. I was overjoyed. They are SO beautiful and gorgeous! She and I felt like we were the luckiest parents in the entire world!
Sadly, there was some bad news. On November 13, Katie and her brother were at the bank…making a deposit. On that day, there was a masked man and he was robbing the bank. She tried to stop him, and she was shot. Her brother got out of the bank alive. He wishes that he was the one who was dead instead of Katie.
I miss her so much and I’m proud that she tried to stop the man. I tell Chris and Soleil about her a lot. When Katie was alive, she would sing to them at bedtime. Luckily, I recorded her singing one night when Soleil had trouble sleeping. So, before I leave the room, I push the record player and the twins fall asleep when they hear her voice.
I’ll always remember Katie. She is the first girl I ever loved. She was my first girlfriend and my first wife. She brought our two beautiful children in the world and I thank God everyday for every moment I have with Chris and Soleil. Girls, share this story with your boyfriends. They might not care or they might be touched. Whatever happens, it won’t matter. What matters is I’m a father figure to Christopher Issac and Soleil Isabelle. And I’m damn proud of it!:)
Dear Jeremy –
I’m Lisa and I am from the Stand Up Girl website. I saw your e-mail and wanted to save it to read when I had a good hot cup of coffee and I could take the time to read every word. Ohh my goodness! You are a Stand Up Guy Jeremy! What an amazing story of your life … I was overjoyed when I saw that you chose life for your TWO babies. That must have been quite a surprise. And you know what? You honored Katie by supporting her to choose life! Wow! I’m so terribly sorry for your loss with Katie. Boy – to try to stop someone from robbing a bank … it sounds like she was a really amazing young woman. The song that you play for the kids that touched my heart to tears. Keep her memory alive. I think that is so beautiful, Jeremy. Thank you so very much for sharing your story with us at the Stand Up Girl website. I really think that when a guy Stands up like you have – it will encourage many others to Stand too.
Thank you again Jeremy.
Luv Lisa
A Father’s Love is a celebration of the important role fathers play in their children’s lives. Each artist’s heartfelt performance expresses their own unique perspective on what it means to be a dad.
Life’s greatest pleasures come from the moments we share with the ones we love, and it is our hope that this collection of songs inspires you and your family to fully explore your own unique relationships.
This album was truly a joy to make…may it bring out the “Golden Dad” in all of us.
Includes artists: Solomon Burke, Phil Collins, Will Downing, Buddy Jewell, James Earl Jones, Richard Marx, Dave Matthews, Michael McDonald, Carlos Ponce, Smokey Robinson, Jon Secada, Loudon Wainright, Kirk Whalum, and Inner Voice
