I guess like all girls finding out she’s pregnant while still in school and the future ahead of her is daunting….I know I’m one of those girls.
I conceived in Oct. but never realised I was pregnant till Nov… literally the week of Thanksgiving… Oh, what a holiday shocker! I had not started my period so that was cause for concern but not that much… I mean my periods had been a little weird lately so I wasn’t too concerned. I got the surprising news when I went in for my birth control shot… Well, routinely taking my pregnancy test… the results were “POSITIVE”!
No one knew what to say…least of all me…I mean…me, the girl who was bound for college. I had a gorgeous boyfriend, a grade average….a wonderful life it seems… Well, things just aren’t what they are when you think you do.
Well I’m pregnant… The father will be around….just us not together… He isn’t ready for a baby…and he knows it… It’s sad because I realised…being pregnant and having children not only means your body changes but your mind and the way you start to view life.
I want everything for my baby….I may not be able to provide it all….but God knows I will try!!! Hope everything goes alright and I found out I’m having a beautiful baby boy!!
Hi, I’m 16 years old. I have a 19 month old baby girl named Ellie.
When I was 12 years old (7th grade), I started going down the wrong path. I was very aggressive, and did drugs. I was sent to juvi once for hurting someone. After that, you would think I would learn to change my life for the better, but no. I was kicked off my lacrosse not once but TWICE for aggression (7th grade and last year). Then came the awful day, the summer before 8th grade, I lost my virginity. Everything went fine, but I didn’t know anything about that stuff because we have abstinence-only education. I thought I was pregnant because I was a week late, but I wasn’t. I still didn’t try to fix my life. A month later, I found out I was pregnant! No one was supportive or helped me at all. I was left all alone to suffer. My best friends stopped hanging out with me and completely stopped talking to me. Everyone at school, was calling me names and was just really mean to me. I knew I wasn’t ready for a baby. So then I went to the Health clinic to get an abortion. When I got into the room, I couldn’t go through with it. I was way too scared… not about the baby but me! I thought it might hurt.
Slowly through the pregnancy, I become way less selfish. I started thinking of the baby. It never really felt I was pregnant throughout the pregnancy. My mom was slowly becoming more supportive of me also. Almost every night, I would cry in my room, scared for my future, and she would come in and hug me. She told me that everything was going to be okay.
Finally, after 9 months of suffering, Ellie was born. I was never so happy in my life, I was a mommy. A very young one but still a mommy! After she turned 2 months old, I knew I wouldn’t be able to take care of her so I gave her to my cousin to take care of while Marching Band started. In the back of my mind, I thought constantly about her. Not even after a month later, I got her back. This was the hardest decision of my life! I was going to mother her, and help her.
Now she is 19 months old, and she is my lil angel! I never thought a lil girl would get my life back on track. Only once I have made a huge mistake, I was kicked off the lacrosse team again (as mentioned earlier). She has saved my life big time! I don’t know where I would be right now if she wasn’t born! Now I am a sophomore in high school, and I get very good grades. I was a varsity lacrosse player and member of the marching band. I am 2nd chair flute (2nd best flute in the school and I’m only a sophomore! ). I don’t plan on having another, one is hard enough to take care of while trying to still be a “normal” teenager.
Ellie has taught to take life as it is, and that no matter how hard things can get, it will always turn out for the better! Maybe not today or tomorrow but someday it will help you! And most importantly, Don’t give up! Life may not be perfect but there is a reason your living!!
I AM PROUD TO BE A TEENAGE MOTHER!! <3
When I started seeing my son’s dad, I never imagined us raising a child together in two homes with all the complications that come along with it.
It was a secret fling that only we and a couple of close friends knew about. He didn’t want anyone to know we were together because he had just split up with his girlfriend and didn’t want her to think it was for me and I was actively attending church and didn’t want to be obvious about the life I was living behind closed doors. We had been together for a couple of months in the past, but it was never a serious thing so no one thought it strange for us to be around each other so much. After all, we were friends, almost as close as family. At that point, his family considered me family and my daughter called his parents grandpa and grandma because they encouraged her to do so. They were there for me if my car broke down, or I needed groceries, you name it. Until, March 31st. I found out I was pregnant by him, even though according to us we were not seeing each other, right???
Now my son is 3 years old. Over the last 3 years, his dad has had many girlfriends and that is the only time he comes around is when he is in a relationship. His family still buys gifts for the kids but we are never invited over for Thanksgiving any more or any other events like that. His mom and stepdad are still involved with me and my husband though because we knew them from church before we were even together and before the whole dating my son’s dad thing. Anyways, I have been struggling lately because his dad has a girlfriend and it is a steady thing so he has been taking him every other weekend since Father’s day. My son comes home doing things that he is not allowed to do here and this morning, he was repeatedly saying “F**K” and I asked him what he was saying in a calm voice and he just replied, my daddy’s house. It is really hard trying to teach him good things and to correct bad behavior when I have to give him up every other weekend to someone who doesn’t live or speak to the standard we do in our home.
Back when I got pregnant with him, I was still smoking pot and going to the bar and using foul language (not in front of my daughter though). I never thought of the consequences. I never thought that I would be clean and sober and not use bad words. I don’t judge those who do but still when it comes to the kids, use a clean mouth around the kids, don’t smoke around the kids, don’t drink in front of the kids. If you are not worried about your own standard, worry about your kid’s standards. They don’t deserve it. My son didn’t ask for me to be all lust filled and have secret sex with his dad. It just happened and I got pregnant and I grew up and started making better choices and his dad didn’t. That is the life I have given my son because I was too busy thinking of what I wanted and when I wanted it. I was not content to stay home with my daughter on the weekend, I had to go party. I had not learned my lesson the first time around and “it would never happen to me again”. Now I have to share my precious son with a guy that smokes around him and obviously uses bad words around him. I can only control my part when he is home to correct the things he learns over there but if I had waited to have sex until I was married to a man who shared my same values and promised to commit to me forever like I did this time, I wouldn’t have had to worry about my son the way I do. I am convinced that if I had waited that I would still have my little Jeremiah James, he would just have different genetics.
It just really breaks my heart to read about how so many girls want to have babies with these guys they have only known for a short time. Once you have a baby, you will grow up whether the dad does or not and more times than not, he will not change and you will have major disagreements about how you want your child to be raised. Save yourself the grief ,save your child the grief. Don’t act impulsively for the wrong reasons. If a guy won’t wait till marriage to have sex, then he is not worth it. Tell him no and let his true colors show, it is better to break up now than it is when you just find out you are pregnant and he doesn’t even call you for 5 months and shows up with his new girlfriend at the hospital when you have the baby, and then walks in and out of the child’s life and sets a poor example.
Once you are pregnant though, you can’t turn back, abortion is wrong and it is not a “quick fix” or an “easy way out”. If you are pregnant, there is always a new beginning waiting for you. It just might be harder, but if you are not pregnant, stop having sex now before you end up with a heartbroken child who doesn’t understand why he/she is being raised in two different homes. If your boyfriend smokes pot or drinks a lot or smokes cigarettes or cusses like a sailor, imagine your baby being around that and ask yourself, do I really want a baby with him?? Like I said, when you are pregnant, you will change. Your eyes will be opened and you will be given this strong drive to protect your child and it is very difficult when you are protecting your child from their other parent. A child will naturally cling to the parent they see less and cry for them and ask for them all the time so when they do see that parent they will mimic their every move and gesture. Look at this guy you want a baby with and ask yourself, do I want my child to do the things he does???
Sorry for rambling so much, I am in a tough spot right now and I just hope that by sharing this there will be one less person in my spot one day…
If you’re a teenage mom and you think that you can’t do it….YOU CAN!!! You just have to want to do it.
If you keep telling yourself you can’t, then YOU WON’T! You have to stay POSITIVE. Yes, it is going to be hard and YES, it is going to be a LONG journey, but in the end, it will be so WORTH IT! I know how you all feel. I’ve been there. Alone, Pregnant, Scared, I’ve lived that part and I live it every day. But you have to take everything in stride and love the life that God gave you because he wouldn’t have granted you this BLESSING if He didn’t think you deserved it. So girls, keep your HEAD UP and be proud of who you are.
LIFE IS GOOD!!!
Are you a bad mother?
Do you go to work and put your kids in daycare?
“You are a bad mother.” Your children will grow up and be criminals and have mental problems because they were away from you for too long.
Do you stay and home and look after the kids?
“You are a bad mother,” because your kids will now be anti-social and not know how to communicate with other kids, and you will grow old, ugly and fat in your house doing things that don’t make you have to work your brain.
Do you let your kids watch TV?
“You are a bad mother,” because now they will grow up addicted to TV and Internet and PlayStation and everything else electronic, and then they will get obese and not have any friends, and they will also be anti-social and violent.
Do you forbid your kids to watch TV?
“You are a bad mother,” because now your kids will not know much about the world, and will grow up to be sheltered little creeps that think the world revolves around Mummy and Daddy.
Are you under 35?
“You are a bad mother,” because you’re too young to be a mother, and you have lost your youth and will grow out drinking every night while the baby cries all by itself alone, and reproduce millions of other babies from different dads just so you can sit on welfare, and the kids won’t be able to grow up normal because you’re just a kid yourself.
Are you over 35?
“You are a bad mother.” Your kids will have down syndrome and they will not be close to their parents because their parents are ancient and too old to look after them and don’t have the energy, and you can’t relate to your kids because you’re too old so therefore they will grow up with mental problems.
Has your child ever seen you cry?
“You are a bad mother.” How could you possibly put your child through seeing you so emotionally distressed? Your child will grow up forever traumatized and have mental problems.
Have you walked out of the house before you were about to burst into tears?
“You are a bad mother,” because you have left the child all by themselves in the house, and they will probably do something hurtful to themselves or get scared by you leaving so much that they will have mental problems.
Do you teach your children about God?
“You are a bad mother,” because you are raising fundamentalists who are going to go bomb people and knock down everyone’s door because they want to convert them.
Do you teach your children about all the world’s religions?
“You are a bad mother”, because the child will grow up confused, and probably think that Allah is God (which actually would be correct, for everyone that has the misconception that Allah is not the Arabic word for God) and will have no morals.
Any way you put it, we are all bad mothers. Somebody out there someone will always find SOMETHING, no matter how ridiculous, how ludicrous, narrow-minded and downright cruel their words are, to put us down, mothers. Mothers cop it all — you are either too this, too that. You do things all, all wrong.
In the end, who cares what other people think? It’s what YOUR children think that matters. And you. Make your own decisions: you are the mother, you know what’s right for the baby, don’t ever let ANYONE put you down. ANYONE at all.
Are you a bad mother?
In all probability, NO.
Well last night, I spoke to my boyfriend about having second thoughts of having an abortion…and as you can guess it didn’t go the way I planned it to.
At first, he said do whatever you feel is right… and how I’m wishing I just left it as that. He doesn’t want me to have the baby, he thinks it would be easier if I didn’t. (Yeah for him, maybe.) The moment he said that to me, I felt my heart break. Now I have no idea what to do. I really don’t want to be a single mother with a mixed race white/Pakistani baby… So people are probably gonna look down their noses at my baby.
I have till Friday to make my decision.
