Hi, I’m 14 years old. And I’ve gone through the wrong path.
I’ve, let’s just say, wrong with my dad. And worse with my mom. She was molested and didn’t want that happening to me, but God wasn’t protecting me that day. And I’ve watched my mother have sex all her life. Seemed to me, she chose to get laid then take care of her children. I’ve wanted to do many things
That to me would take the pain away, but I knew it wouldn’t. And now .. I’m two months pregnant And my mother was forcing me to get an abortion. She thought it was fine cuz she’s had three… but to me, it seemed like I didn’t have a choice, because I never wanted to hurt her. But finally I said no! the day before.
And now I’m stuck pregnant, just scared and nervous.
Here we are, she and I…alone in this world.
We have all the help we need; she is as happy as she could wish for and still I feel as miserable as the beginning. All my fears have vanished but yet, I feel the pain so sharp; I feel I am alone. He left, he is in Colombia now… 6 hours of difference and nearly a month without feeling him breathing by our side. He left…her father also left and it seems I’ve been born to be left alone…always alone.
I only want my daughter to grow and help me feel I’m not that lonely anymore… Is it a crime? Why do I always need a man by my side?? Why can’t I just be happy with her?
Well its been a week since I told my mum that I am pregnant. She told my nana and now she’s all excited with herself!! lol It’s quite funny how they’re acting but at least they’re pleased.
So my mum has been like, a bit pushy, wanting to buy baby stuff and maternity clothes for me!!! lol To be honest, its doing ma head in a lil bit cos I think it’s a bit early to be buying things like that… I mean, you don’t really know what’s gonna happen.
I’ve got my first scan in 2 weeks so hopefully, I’ll have some pics uploaded on here!
I am 17 and 10 weeks pregnant. I don’t really know what to do or what will come, but I have support from my mom, most of my family, and my boyfriend. I am still with my boyfriend and we are engaged, but it’s like he doesn’t understand what I’m going through.
He seems really immature and it bothers me. He thinks that 100 whenever he can work (which hasn’t been a lot) is a job… I can’t really work right now between of my school and the ” morning sickness” which lasts all day. I don’t know how I will be able to do this. My mom says not to worry because she will make sure everything will be okay, although I want to be able to do it on my own… I really need some reassurance that I’m not alone even though it feels like it.
My so-called friends don’t talk to me much and I can’t figure out if it’s because I am pregnant or because I just switched schools… I really feel plagued. Is this normal? Does this happen to a lot of pregnant teens? I really need a friend or even someone to talk to. My social life is now spending time with my boyfriend (who lives with me and my mom) and my mom, her girlfriend, and her 4 year old son who wants to play all the time and doesn’t know why I’m always sick or why he has to play easy with me now. I suffer from depression already, now that it seems everyone is not here. I feel selfish…. I previously had a miscarriage 2 weeks before my 16th birthday, so now that I’m pregnant again, I’m really scared about having another…
I had my first ultrasound on the 12th of Feb. and it was amazing. I cant wait for everything…. but mainly for my second trimester so the morning sickness will stop… lol.
As many of you know, I am pregnant with my third child. My first two pregnancies were not picture-perfect in the beginning but towards the middle, they evened out and I had a blast with my big belly and to say I was nesting was an understatement…. This time around has not been so wonderful…
My first appointment I was told that my baby had no heartbeat and that it was measuring two weeks behind in development. Also that my baby was implanted in between my tube and my uterus, could have been fatal to me. I was pretty freaked out and I was having horrid cramps and when I would go to the bathroom, I would just brace myself to see blood… That, however, did not happen. I went in for a more detailed ultrasound to recheck for a heartbeat and the baby had one. It was very faint but still there. Also, the baby was measuring accurately for how far along I was and had drastically moved position…I was now feeling better. I could get attached to my baby now and begin the next season of puking all day and never being without a headache. I went on a wonderful trip with my husband to celebrate our first wedding anniversary and when I got back and had a follow up appointment I was asked if I had traveled out of the country because I had a very rare and strange parasite in my urine… I began to freak out again and wonder if this would take my baby’s life… They did further testing and could not find anything wrong… The parasite just went away and no, I had not been outside of the country… So then we went on with the rest of the pregnancy symptoms, starting to show, HUGE changes in my upper body.
I also started to feel subtle movements, then they stopped. I had not felt anything in like 3 weeks and all I did was cramp and have contractions all day long… In the meantime through all of this, I had been asking for prayer from friends and things always turned out to be OK. I told of my concerns for the baby not moving at a Bible Study I go to and asked for prayer for the horrible dreams about delivering a dead baby into my hands. I just wanted to be relieved of these fears that have plagued me this whole pregnancy…. The next day, I was sitting here on the computer and the baby started pounding on my bladder… I got up and ran to my bed to lay down so I could concentrate on feeling more movement. I called my husband with tears in my eyes over how much relief I had and how my fears were just shot out the window… It was nice… Now I could get attached and be done with the fears and have nothing but nesting and ultrasounds to look forward to.
The very next day, I started spotting and having more contractions and cramps. I went to the hospital and had an ultrasound and the baby was fine and all looked well. Now I could rest, we saw our baby and my placenta was in a good spot. Nothing else to go wrong…then they gave me an exam and told me that I was 50% effaced and a fingertip dilated… The doctor went over the percentages of carrying to term and the percentage of miscarriage. It was horrifying to be hearing all of this. I immediately shut back down and let go of the small amount of attachment I had at that point. I was put on bed rest and given medicine to make sure I didn’t get an infection in case my doctor was going to stitch up my cervix. I went in for a follow up appointment with my doctor and my cervix was no longer thinning and I looked pretty good. I was not dilating from the inside out just slightly at the bottom and because I do not have a history of pre term labor, my mind was set at ease once again and the emotional wall between me and baby was coming down again.
I started feeling more movements. I would talk to the baby and call it funny names when it was wiggling. Our ultrasound got closer and closer and I couldn’t wait to see my baby again… We were good and did not peek, we want to be surprised. (I am leaning more towards a girl now where in the beginning, I was thinking boy….totally confused…LOL) Anyways, the ultrasound looked great and although the radiologist is not the one to give diagnosis of anything, he said all looked fine. Over the next two days, I was glowing, feeling grand and pregnant and beginning to imagine meeting my baby at the ripe time of full term with no problems, smooth sailing from here on out. Then I had my follow up with my doctor who informed me yesterday that the baby has a Choroid Plexus Cyst on its brain. It is one of the symptoms for Trisomy 18, an often fatal abnormality…there were no other outward signs like spinabifida or clubbed feet but there are many other deformations that may not be visible on an ultrasound… I just looked at my doctor and started laughing. I told him” what’s new and what’s next.” I am not too freaked out at this point but I have to wait two months before another ultrasound to recheck for the cyst, I guess no matter what happens I will be thankful but I am so tired of getting attached and then fearing attachment and bouncing back and forth.
I guess I just wanted to share my heart with everyone. some people get abortions because the “baby has no heartbeat anyways…” We proved that wrong. Some people have abortions because “the chances of carrying full term are slim”. Each day that passes, we are proving that wrong. Some people abort due to “risk to the mothers health”. This baby could have killed me but moved and I am no longer at risk for rupturing how I would have had it not moved… Some people abort because of “medical issues”. I had an abnormal pap before I found out I was pregnant and there is a chance that I have cervical cancer and cannot do anything about it until the baby is born. Some people abort because they get scary news from the blood work or ultrasound checking for abnormalities. My baby has a 1 in a 1000 chance that it will not live for more than a few minutes outside the womb. If it does live, he/she is facing major heart problems, cleft in the face, other physical deformations, and who knows what else, but my baby deserves a fighting chance and we have beaten the odds so far with all the rest of the stuff that has been thrown our way… At this point, I would rather get attached and have my heart broken then to never know if the tests were wrong. I think they are and if not, I have more than enough love to share with a baby who may be deformed or who might only live for two minutes. Would you rather be held my your mommy for just a minute and die peacefully in her arms or be subjected to chemicals and or be torn limb from limb or have your neck punctured and your brain sucked out because you may not be “perfect”????
I am giving my baby a fighting chance and I hope that the hardship my family is enduring right now will encourage you all to do the same. I am struggling and hurting but still, the doctors are not always right and if they are, it doesn’t make my baby less human….
Well, I finally plucked up the courage to tell my mum…
OK, it was over the phone but the main thing is that it’s out in the open now!! PHEWW! How much better do I feel! I expected her to be in total shock and tell me how disappointed she was… But in fact, she was very calm and supportive!! WOW! Obviously, she asked me what I wanted to do. I told her that I was unsure… She was like remember that’s my grandchild too. Sooo she’s gonna come over at the weekend and talk to me properly about it!
I can’t believe how relieved I feel now. I’ve told her! It’s like a HUGE weight has been taken off my shoulders! At least, I now know that I’ve got the support of my mum.
