Im feeling so isolated and lonely… my friends no longer have time for me and i feel like i have no one to turn to. My boyfriend is always there for me but he doesnt really understand what is goin on inside this head of mine… and to be honest neither do i.

I thought that i wanted to keep the baby but no my head is all over the place. I feel like a complete failure and disappointment to my family so i still havent plucked up the courage to tell my mum. Im really not ready to be a mum… Im putting so much weight on and i hate it. I cry over the smallest matters everything is just so unbearable.

What if i mess up… im gonna be in charge of a life and i cant even handle my own. This baby deserves the best and it wont get that… if i keep it my boyfriend wont tell his family because their muslims and they wouldnt accept it. That means my babies dad would be a part-time father and wouldnt be there for me 100% like i would want him to be. Hes not ready to be a dad either and i dont think he wants to lose his family. My mum lives in another city so it would be hard for me to get some help from her. 

I wish i could turn back time but i know its to late… Im just so lost… Im not ready to have a child but then again im not ready to kill my baby either. I really dont know what to do… PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME…