I am going through a hard time at the moment so I wanted to share my story.
Just over a month ago, I found out that I was about 5 weeks pregnant. I was so surprised because I had unprotected sex so many times and nothing had happened so I guess I considered myself “broken” in that department. My partner of almost 7 years found out about the pregnancy and was extremely unhappy- In fact, he told me that if I had this baby, then he would leave me. We are both only 22 and he told me that we weren’t ready and had to have a house, make more money, etc. before we could even think about having kids. I tried to tell him that maybe having a baby would be a good thing and make us grow up, but every time I tried to mention it, he wouldn’t want to listen.
I went to see my GP and told her that I was thinking about an abortion. She had to give me blood tests and sent me off to have an ultrasound before she could refer me to the clinic, so I did that. I had my ultrasound when I was 7 weeks pregnant and, to be honest, I couldn’t see much except the little formation of a baby. It really did touch my heart. I spent the next couple of weeks thinking about what to do. I knew if I kept this baby, then I’d have to give up my life with my partner. I also knew that I had a lot of growing up to do and that I wasn’t ready to look after a baby. I saw a counselor who pretty much told me to do what I wanted to do. I tried to get advice from my parents, friends, and colleagues and they all said something similar- “Do what your heart tells you to do.” “Whatever decision you make is the right one”.
Week 8 of my pregnancy, I went to the abortion clinic. I was there for 3 hours. First, I had to see a counselor who asked me about 20 times if I was sure this was what I wanted to do, then I had to see a doctor who went through the procedure with me, then finally I had to see a nurse who booked an appointment for the abortion.
My abortion was all booked in. For the week waiting for it, I had so many emotions going through my head. When you are pregnant, your whole body changes and you do have a connection with the baby. There were times when I wanted to back out and keep the baby and times when I knew I was doing the right thing because of the situation I’m in now.
Less than 24 hours ago, I was just over 9 weeks pregnant and thought I was making the right decision and got to the hospital ready to have the abortion. They called my name and brought me into a waiting room with about 9-10 other girls who were having an abortion that same day. The doctors and nurses were very friendly and comforting. We got shown to our beds where we were given pills and sedatives to make us relax. There was a certain pill that had to be taken to make your muscles relax so it was easier for the doctor to do the procedure- the nurse told me that after that pill was taken, then there was no changing my mind as the pill can cause a miscarriage. She handed me the pill. I looked at it for a second, then swallowed it, and at that moment, I did feel a sense of loss- I knew there was no going back.
The doctor called me in to the room and I lay on the operating table, I got given a local anesthetic in my cervix and within literally 3 minutes, the procedure was all done- my baby had been taken out 🙁 At the time, because I had so much medication, I didn’t really have much emotion about it because I was so “drugged up”, but when I got home that’s when things started to sink in.
I started feeling guilty and upset. I felt a real sense of loss and emptiness. My world just didn’t feel the same anymore. I know I made a mistake and now there is no going back. I just can’t help wondering what my baby would have been like. It is that strangest feeling knowing that it was growing inside of you and then it suddenly being taken away. I know now that if I could go back then, I would.
Please girls, please make sure you are 100% in your decision if you have to make one. I know that what I did was immature and down right stupid. Now I have to live the rest of my life thinking “what if?” and living with the hurt and guilt of what I did. In my opinion, giving life to a beautiful baby- YOUR baby- will probably be the best thing that could ever happen to you.
I really hope that no one has to feel the way that I do.
Seems like everyone has a blog about their’s, so here’s mine (:
My boyfriend & I had only been together a very short time before we thought I was pregnant, like a month. We hadn’t used protection since we’d been together (He didn’t think he worked down there & I relied on the pull-out method. Usually always worked), and one day he didn’t pull out soon enough, so after he’s like “OMG, I did a little in there!” We both kind of freaked out for about an hour. I went home after a few more hours. We were texting that night and one of us brought up what if I got pregnant, what we’d do, and all those questions… Well, we got ourselves a little excited about it. So, I took a test at the end of March, it was negative. We were both disappointed. After that, we just kind of tried to get pregnant.
I took a test before my last period, it was negative. Okay, disappointed again. Then I got my period (April 1). This was all around Prom time, might I add. We had sex a few more times after that. Being Prom season & that my boyfriend was a senior, I had to get a dress. I picked it out in the beginning of April, got it fitted the second week of April, and went to wear it on April 30th. It fit fine at the fitting and when I brought it home. A few days before prom I put it on. I thought ‘Wow, my boobs are getting big. NICE!!’. I was gaining weight because I was overcoming bulimia, so I attributed it to that. Prom was a nice night (: A few days prior to prom, my dad took me to get my ear pierced. I had already had the same spot done on my right ear, so I didn’t expect the left to get so infected like it did. I went to the doctor to get antibiotics the Monday following prom (May 2). I took them and after the second pill (one in the morning, one at night), my kidneys started to KILL. I have microbeign hematuria so I thought that was what the problem was. I went back to the doctor (May 5). They asked me the usual questions, antibiotics & all the normal stuff, and my period. I said it was April 1st, so I was a couple days late which wasn’t unusual. So on the pee sample he took, he ran a pregnancy test. The results came back that I was unbelievably dehydrated. Oh, and pregnant. I was about 5 weeks along when I found out. I immediately called my boyfriend [as soon as the doctor had stepped out of the room] and scream-whispered, “I’m Pregnant!!” He said. “Ok….” I later found out he was with his mom in the car so he couldn’t freak out like he wanted to. He didn’t believe me at first, so I took two more, both positive.
So, 20 weeks later, here I am. Near 26 weeks pregnant, living at my father’s house with my boyfriend, with a happy healthy very active baby boy on the way (:
Just thought I’d share <3
I was on a website reading about what’s in store this week & I saw this is a forum off to the side… Copy & paste if you want(:
1. How many weeks along are you?
– 25 weeks and 6 days
2. Do you know the gender of your baby?
– Little boy (:
3. Have you picked out names? (Share if you like)
– Thomas Douglas III, We’re going to call him Trace, like the number three.
4. Have you had colustrum/breast milk yet?
– Yes, around 15 weeks. It comes out if I am laying on my side & my arm squishes my boob. Icky.
5. Have you had Braxton Hicks?
– Yes
6. Has your baby dropped yet?
– Nope
7. Are you a FTM?
– Yes
8. Who is most excited about baby besides you?
– Everyone lol.
9. Are you measuring ahead? Behind? normal?
-About normal.
10. Do you have a linea negra?
– Nope
11. Do you have swelling?
– Not really no.
12. Do you have mood swings?
– yeah, they aren’t terrible. I’d say they’re close to pms-y.
13. Do you have/had morning sickness?
– neverr.
14. Do you/did you have cravings? What for? Any aversions?
– It varies. Usually its just sugary treats, like chocolate&wonka candy.
15. What other pregnancy symptoms have you had?
– All of them. Sore breasts, leg cramps[started recently], cravings, heightened sense of smell, everything.
16. What things do you still have to buy for baby?
– A crib&bedding. We have clothes, stroller, swing and car seat that his mom gave us, so we just have to get the crib&the bedding.
17. Do you have a scheduled induction date, c-section, going natural, midwife….
– I’m going natural
18. Are you still working?
– Yes. Until october 15th, then the resturant where i work closes for the season. yay&nay at hte same time.
19. How many ultra sounds have you had?
– 2
20. Have you had a baby shower?
– I have one on november 6th
21. What are you most tired of hearing re: pregnancy?
– “Its it toms?” umm ya… “boy or girl!?” “can i touch?!!?” no way.
22. Where does baby kick?
– every which way he can. He’s discovered just under my ribs and my sides when i have cramps there.
23. Where have you grown most aside from baby bump?
– boobs, and apparently my booty cuz that’s the only place I’ve got stretch marks lol…
24. Do you have stretch marks?
– On my butt, one on my left thigh and on my right boob… So weird places i know…
25. Can you still shave?
– Its incredibly difficult and uncomfortable to do my legs. ‘Down there’ is pretty much impossible.
26. What can’t you do now, that you could earlier in pregnancy?
– See my toesies. Shave. Walk a normal speed.. I now waddle.
Today, I was on my way to get on birth control- because my boyfriend and I started having sex again… The nurse did my exam and handed me a cup… Pregnancy Test time!!!
No clear result…
Blood Work…
Positive. I’m 2-3 weeks pregnant… WHAT THE HELL!
I’m supposed to be happy right??????? I’m NOT! :// I don’t know what to do!
I was 16 when I had my first son and I’ve grown and experienced a lot since then.
I’m always free to talk, answer questions, anything. I’m a stay-at-home momma and I LOVE talking to people even If it’s just about the weather.
I hope to get the chance to follow your stories and be a part of your experience 🙂
I’m 20 years old. I like to share my story with others because it really shows that no matter what, you can do this, and no matter what, you’re not alone.
I’m currently 19 weeks pregnant and very excited for this baby to come! However, my boyfriend, not so much. We’ve been together for 5 years and definitely have our ups and downs, but one thing we always shared was truly loving each other. He joined the service and I couldn’t have been prouder of him. He was following his dreams. When he got back, we went away to separate schools and survived that. Then a year ago, we moved in together. Things were good for a while, but as usual, something was getting in the way of us being truly happy. Well, we tried to work things out for several months and it seemed that everything was finally going to work out.
Well, the second week of June came around and I found out I was pregnant. I’ve been on birth control for 3 years and know how to take it properly. However, I forgot to take it 3 days in a row and bam, I became pregnant. I was really nervous to tell my significant other, but finally got up the courage to do so. His first reaction wasn’t really a reaction at all. He was just kinda like, “Ummm, really? Okay.” So the next day, I made him sit down with me and tell me how he really felt about it. He was terrified as most men are when they first hear the news. He said that he’d be there for me and the baby and I was over the moon. For once, things were going to be good. Well, 2 weeks later, I came home from work and all of his things were gone. He called me a few days later to tell me that he wasn’t ready for a baby and if I wasn’t going to have an abortion, then he couldn’t be with me anymore. I thought about this for a while. I really wanted him in my life, but I also already loved this baby so much. After no contact with him for about a week, I made the decision to keep my baby. I told him that I was keeping it and I really haven’t heard from him since.
Ladies, when it comes to pregnancy, you need to do what’s right for you! Not your parents, or boyfriend, or even friends. This decision is ultimately yours and you can do whatever you feel is right in your heart. You don’t need a man to help you through it and remember this, anyone can be a father. But it takes a special man to be a Dad. Also, support lies all around you. My family and friends have been great support for me throughout this entire pregnancy so far and whenever I do feel alone, I look at my growing belly and remind myself that I made the best decision for me and I have more love for this baby than I ever thought possible.
