When one speaks of abortion, one is often judged, offended, scorned, and scrutinized. What did I really expect???
I’ve been on the giving out side… Now I’m on the receiving side! No one could have told or warned me what the effect would be on my life and the effect on my husband.
Let me start by telling you my story.
Like most people, I’ve been very narrow-minded about abortion. I grew up in a home with heavy high moral standards, so much so, that if my parents said it was wrong, then it was wrong. And so I came to the conclusion that abortion was wrong. I was judgmental about abortion and every time I got to get in a word about it, I spoke my mind.
I met my husband in May and in June, we got married. Life was great. We had a wonderful honeymoon and life has just started. Then I got the news in beginning of August… I was pregnant!
My whole world shook to a stand still. All these questions start popping into my mind. The pregnancy did not fall into the life I had planned, but still I was excited. Then I started to think… The whole time I was pregnant and did not know about it, we did all the stuff women who are pregnant should not do. And the other sour point was… we did not make it good financially.
The day I told my husband, I broke into tears…tears of happiness and that of fear. He was so supportive and happy. We started talking about the pregnancy, and the more we talked, the more we realized we were not going to be able to keep our baby. Yes it sounds terrible, I know. Please believe me, I’m not trying to make it sound better or more reasonable.
I started having cramps and were very tired, so I went to the doctor and asked his opinion. He said my baby might have fetal alcohol syndrome when he is born. We went to have a sonar, and found out I was 7 weeks pregnant.
After the worst week of my life, we decided to go for an abortion. Then then worst year of my life started.
We went for counselling before the abortion. The day of the abortion, I had doubts but pushed it aside. I tried to think about my and my husbands future. Financially, we wouldn’t be able to care for our baby, and we had no one that could support or help us financially.
The morning, 7 o’clock, the nurse gave me the pill to start the process. At first, I didn’t feel anything, then at 10 o’clock, the pain and cramps and bleeding started. It felt like I was dying…and I wanted to! When you start the process, you can’t stop it!!!! They left me till 1 o’clock that afternoon before they started with the vacuum abortion!
I can’t even start to describe the pain when they insert the clamps and start scraping and vacuum. I preferred not to have a sedative, because I wanted to feel the pain of my choice.
Everything was finished after 20 minutes. I was the most painful 20 minutes of my life. After that, they sent me home with antibiotics and painkillers, so that I wouldn’t get infection.
The week after the abortion, I can’t remember! Because I had allergies and asthma, I couldn’t use the medicine. My husband fed and bathed me for a week, because I just did not want to get out of bed.
I was devastated… I felt I made the wrong choice. I struggled with depression up and till now, and thought of taking my own life. My husband…he was devastated as well! We were struggling with our own emotions and didn’t have the power of energy to talk about it.
For 9 constant months. I bled. Sex was impossible! You can think how that effects a marriage! After 9 months, it stopped but when we had sex, it started all over!
Today, 14 months after the abortion, it is the first time I can go on! My husband didn’t leave me, he stuck with me! Helped me! Comforted me!
Sometimes, I still wonder where we would be if we didn’t have the abortion. I told my friends about it a month ago. At first, they were shocked, but then they tried to understand.
I tried to handle this on my own. Without counselling, without support! It was just my husband and I! We made it! We grew stronger!! But if I did not have my husband, I would not have made it!
I don’t promote abortions, and I don’t say it is right!!! I don’t advocate abortion or uplift it! But I feel that nobody has the right to scrutinize or judge a woman who chooses to have an abortion. No one really understands the emotional turmoil that a woman or girl goes through to arrive at that decision.
I really feel strong about this because i had an abortion. I live in a small town and believe me, there are the most narrow minded people living here. It is a year later and finally I can start picking up my head and looking people in their eyes.
That is the reason that made me decide to publish a book to help any woman or girl who choose to have an abortion, because there isn’t much help or sympathy out there.
The book will show woman the choices they have by either keeping the baby, giving it up for adoption or having an abortion. After the choices being depicted, it will show the process they need to follow as well as commentary from other woman being in the same situation. It will have the medical facts in every detail. It will also contain psychological help and advice by experts.
If you want to be part of it…you can be anonymous…please let me know. This book is to comfort and enlighten all woman out there!
Now you know my story…
LIFE SURE DOES HAVE A WAY OF SNEAKING UP ON YOU… BUT IT IS WHAT WE DO THAT MAKES US STRONGER!!!!
I’m 19 years old and I have a 2 1/2-month-old Baby boy.
Hears the BIG!!!!! Problem….
I’m 3 weeks pregnant and thinking about having an abortion.
I talked to my husband about it and he thinks that I should get an abortion because we can’t afford another baby.
Let me know what you think…
Hey everyone. I’m new to this site, but I’m absolutely in love with it!! So kudos to those who created it. Anyways, so I personally think I have a lot to offer and advice to give on almost anything. So let me dive in.
I am 18 years old and only remember, basically, the last 4 years of my life, which is basically high school and the few months I’ve been out. I will later update each year with a blog but in short, this is what happened year by year and then feel free to jump to the year you want to read about.
My freshman year, I got into a relationship that lasted two years with sexual abuse.
Sophomore year I was in a head-on car collision with a drunk driver, everyone involved should of been dead, but we all survived. This is why I only remember 4 years of my life.
Junior year, I was raped and couldn’t turn the man in who did it to me.
Senior year, I had a complicated surgery on my shoulder. Since I’ve graduated, I’ve had a miscarriage.
Now I am newly married to the love of my life. We have known each other since I was little and have dated for a year and a half. We did the distance thing for almost a year. He is in the Air Force, and I recently moved half way around the world to be with him. So I went from a small town livin’ on a ranch in Nebraska to living on a military base, on an island in Japan.
Also we may be expecting again, but that is kinda up in the air still.
So that is it for me. Feel free to leave comments or write in the guest book. I love giving advice and I’m told I’m one of the nicest people you could ever meet.
There are times I go back and forth. I am going through so much right now.
I got married on a whim a few months ago. He already has 2 kids from 2 different mothers. I found out today that my husband has been with another female. I have been in legal trouble because of him and it is still not over with. Due to this, I am not able to have contact with him. He does not know and thoughts run through my head. Does he even need to know if I go the abortion route? I found out 3 days ago and I have to be around 6-12 weeks so if I’m going to make a decision, I need to make one quick.
I am so emotionally confused with everything. I would not be able to go through with an adoption and it just seems impossible to even think about doing this on my own. I have been blessed to have my sister to talk to but as soon as I decide on abortion, it seems like later I am not so sure. I want to throw my hands in the air, scream, and pretend this is not happening to me. I find this a blessing yet a complete disaster. I almost positive I am going to get an annulment if I can and when I can. I have a lot on my plate right now. By the grace of God, I have been completely sober through this and plan to be, whether I have an abortion or not. I don’t have any friends to really speak to. All of them drink or do drugs, which I have made a choice to walk away from that life. I am done running and being a kid about my life. I feel like wow, as soon as I made this choice, God puts this in my path. It’s not easy and I can’t help but feel like there is a reason why I am pregnant now. It’s not about my husband b/c either he will be there or won’t. It’s about me and what can I handle. I am pro-choice now that it’s in my hands. I feel like I am on a swing set, going back and forth. All I want to do is jump off.
If you have any advice, please I am open to it and I need all the feedback I can get.
OK, I have loved this boy since I was 18. I got pregnant with my daughter Feb, while I was a freshman in college and doing very well. We decided to have her regardless of how young and unsure we were.
In Sept, he was arrested and spent the next 2 years locked up. I cheated on him while he was locked up and also was raped the year before he came home. He was released in Feb and at first, we were happy. I was never able to go back to school because the rape happened down at my school. I have been trying to work and pay off debt I incurred while I was pregnant. After a couple of months, I realized that the man I love has changed. He is abusive toward me, in all ways thinkable. I have since moved back in with my mother. But I have recently found out I am pregnant again.
I no longer want anything to do with him but I still love this boy with everything I am made of. He has told me time and time again that if I have this baby, he will never connect with me again and I should never contact him. I have given up on fighting for a relationship that isn’t meant to be. However, I do not know if bringing a baby into my situation is a smart decision. I am 22 with a 2, almost 3 year old. I live with my mother who is not helping me financially to better myself and I have yet to return to school to do the one thing i promised myself I would do….get my degree. I do know adoption is not an option for me as I am the product of adoption and would not wish my insecurities on my worst enemies. I have heard so many horrible stories about abortion but that seems to be my only option at this point. I can’t bear the emotional toll of abortion but I am not sure if I will ever achieve my goals and dreams with two babies by a boy who thinks so little of me and his kids that he does nothing to help.
What should I do? I will consider any alternatives at this point.
I just started birth control about a month ago and I am not sure how long the side effects are supposed to last. However, I was on birth control before and I didn’t have these side effects as long as I’ve had them recently.
It’s the same pill so it’s not my body adjusting to a new type of birth control. My symptoms consist of my breasts hurting for about a month and a half; feeling sick to my stomach when I eat or brush my teeth sometimes; getting tired a lot earlier and waking up earlier each day; getting headaches close to the end of the day and lower back pain at times. I also will get lightheaded sometimes but not a lot. All these symptoms have been going on for about a month and a half and I am afraid I am pregnant.
Could someone help me!!!
