I was a teen mom. I left home 2 days after I turned 17. Left with my boyfriend ~ who was 4 years older than me. My boyfriend & I lived in a car for a few weeks. Getting to school was hard.
He had friends who were getting their girlfriends pregnant or already had kids, so we decided we wanted to have a baby too. I did get pregnant. I quit making it to school altogether. We moved into a house with friends. It wasn’t a home, but a party house.
We didn’t stay there too long before he was put in jail. When he left, I moved in with my grandparents. They were very generous to me. Unfortunately, I didn’t appreciate it then. This all happened in a matter of months. It seemed like a long time but it wasn’t~ my life was completely changed within the first semester of my Junior year of high school. By the time the second semester started, I was pregnant, living with my grandparents, and my boyfriend was in jail. I was back in school & experiencing not morning sickness but all-day sickness.
My due date was in August, my boyfriend got out of jail a month or two before. We moved into a place together. My grandparents were upset & wanted me to stay with them. My baby was born about a week late with no problems. In October, I started at an alternative school & finished my senior year within 6 weeks.
Before my baby had even turned one. my boyfriend & I had broken up & I was pregnant again, with no idea what I was going to do.
I had a choice to make, & it wasn’t an easy one, it would affect my life & my children’s lives.
When you are young & you know you don’t have what it takes to raise the child growing inside of you, it’s scary.
We don’t talk about all the choices we have enough. Girls are left with a lot of questions. They are misled, they are manipulated, & coerced into choices they didn’t feel comfortable with. I have been a teen mom. I am also a birth mom who released a child through an open adoption. I have received blessings & joy, as well as heartache from this decision ~ but those are things that come with life. I feel very strongly that the choice for adoption, especially open adoption, be talked about & people be educated. If you have questions you want to ask, please ask.
I’ve been a teen mom, I am a birth mom, I am a mom who has lost babies to miscarriages.
I have been there, I have experienced the pain. I have come through it & have healed.
At 19 weeks, I found out that I am having a baby boy due June 8th. I can’t wait to see him. He will be my greatest accomplishment and my love.
I am so glad to give my man a son.
Hey, well these last few weeks have been crazy. Trying to figure out how to pay our bills, whether or not we going to be able to afford food, and the fighting between me and my fiancé is just wearing me down. Last weekend was a 3-day ordeal and I was sick to my stomach, Couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, couldn’t focus on our girls properly, and didn’t clean, or even change my clothes.
Sometimes, it just feels like everything is just falling apart and nothing I am doing seems to do anything. I guess I’m going to need to give a summary of how my fiancé and I came together and created this family. I was 15 when we met and he was 7 years older than I (do the math). Obviously not legal for us to be together, so we waited. We had separate relationships, lived separate lives. And then one day when I was 17, I heard it was his birthday so we (my friend and I) decided we were going to hang out with him and wish him a happy birthday. That night, you could say it all began. For a few weeks, we were “seeing” each other, hanging out on weekends, spending time together whatever. It wasn’t official because he wasn’t ready for a serious relationship… So when he decided to stop seeing me. I wasn’t shocked or really too worried about it. I was sad. He was a nice guy and I had always wanted a chance, but I guess I just told myself these 4 weeks were my chance. 6 weeks later, I was extremely sick. It was Dec and I thought I had the flu, not the case at all. Because I was in a drinking and drug-induced state of mind, I had totally forgotten I was missing my period. So when the doctor told me I was pregnant, you can imagine the fear on my face and the piercing silence.
I walked out of there knowing who the father was. Because since he decided to stop seeing me, I decided I didn’t really want to date, was going to focus on going to school in the fall, and planned on getting a job until then. Not being pregnant at 17 with someone who didn’t even classify me as a girlfriend. When I told him, his words we “f**k off”. He didn’t know what to say. And then he said you need to get rid of the baby, I don’t want to be a dad and I don’t want kids with you. I cried. Stupidly, I had hoped him being older, he would accept the thought of keeping it, but that wasn’t the case. I confided in my mother within a day, trying to figure out the right way to tell your mom you’re having a child… There is no right way when you’re a teen.
Thankfully, my mom agreed to let me live there with her if I kept the baby and to help as long as I needed, great mom I know:) After a few days of weighing options, we kept the baby. The father was not happy and not involved with the pregnancy in any way, shape, or form. The pregnancy was a NIGHTMARE, but the outcome was amazing… In August, I gave birth to my daughter, Vannah. She was my heart and from the moment we met, I knew my mom and I had made the best choice for our family. Not to mention, the father came to see her and fell in love, hard not to when she was his mini-me. He and I gave it a go, a trial run you could say cause we lasted until she was almost 6 months and then we split. Always stayed on good terms, for Vannah’s sake. He had her every other weekend, paid child support, and, surprisingly for someone who didn’t want her, was an amazing father, and I mean that.
We were apart for 18 months exactly when he came to me with the idea that we had made a quick choice to call it quits and we should give it another try. I agreed. I have been in love with him this entire time and it was so hard to come to terms with, but once I did, I realized we were always meant to be. Shortly after we reunited, 4 months to be exact, we found out we were expecting again. We were extremely excited and couldn’t wait to complete our family, we had problems throughout the pregnancy, I feel that pregnancy complicates our relationship. Not sure about others but him and I agree upon that. But the end result was beautiful, in June we had another little girl named Jaylah, who resembles me more than anyone, and after we had her, our relationship improved a lot.
Now, our status is defiantly moving on up. I call him my fiancé even though there is no ring for the simple fact the I don’t want to seem like a materialistic, stuck in the past type girl. He has just recently told me he is thinking of asking, but I’m not worried. We live together, have two girls together, and we even have a joint bank account. I guess the certificate, the ring, and the whole wedding would just be a bonus. Him and I are always going to have fights. I think everyone does with the people they love but I want things to be a lot calmer and more stable. We are still young and very much in love. Neither one of us is giving up anytime soon so I am just praying for the best, literally.
love
I thought I would take a moment for those teens wondering if they will be good parents or should they have a baby and ask you this question- Are you ready for the emotions that come with having a baby?
Forget all the worry about money and food (these are very important as well) and think about the impact that a child will bring on your life. When I had my first daughter, I really just thought I would walk in and a baby would pop out. After a very very very long and exhausting labor, I finally gave birth to a beautiful 7 lb. 7 oz baby girl and when they showed her to me, she was blue. No crying- just arms flailing in the air. She had the cord around her neck twice. In that moment -it was only a few seconds- I felt an instant connection with another soul so profound that I could hardly breathe. It was as if I could feel her fear. I could feel her pain. Long story is, they cut the cord. She was fine and when they handed her to me, I could feel her immense joy sail through my heart. Now she is two and the first time I had to punish her, I cried harder than she did- just because I felt like such a bully for hurting her feelings. No one tells you how much you can love a child. How even when they are driving you insane you just melt at the sound of their voices, you want to get away from them but the minute you leave, you don’t stop thinking of them. I can’t sleep sometimes, wondering how they are going to turn out at 18. That’s like 16 years from now. I can’t bear the thought of something happening to them. Believe me, there were times when I had to lock myself in the closet for wanting to loose it with my kids, but I made it through. You CAN do it if you are willing to.
It’s just a long term emotional commitment- and it’s FOREVER!!!
I’m confused and really need help!
I’ve been with my boyfriend for just over a month and have just fallen pregnant with his baby.
We’re both 18 and he wants me to get an abortion.
I’ve been against abortions my whole life and really don’t think i could go through with it.
But I’m terrified I’ll lose him and end up on my own.
I haven’t told my parents, I can’t face it until I’ve decided what to do but I know they’ll be supportive no matter what.
What should I do???????
It’s been a month and 10 days since I aborted my baby, and my family would say how strong they thought I was and how well I was coping – I was fine! I’d think about it and sometimes get a little teary but I thought I would be okay.. but I realize now I’ve made the biggest mistake of my life.
Me and my boyfriend found out in October that I was pregnant, and we were scared but so excited. We were making plans about how things would be, how we were gonna be parents. Of course, we had our slight doubts, but then he changed. He talked of how we needed to live our lives, have fun while we’re young, have money, and do what we want! I understood. I’m only 17 and he’s 18. I’d cry and tell him I didn’t wanna get rid of it but he would get angry and explain why we needed to.
Then my mum found out and took me out of college. My mum never cries, but she was hysterical that night. I was stubborn and harsh, ran off to a friend’s with my boyfriend for the night. But they rang and said I had to go home and ring my dad, tell him what happened. They threatened with the police and everything. It was the worst night.. I got back and mum begged me to stay butI wouldn’t. I rang my dad and he was surprisingly okay, calling me a rascal and understanding how upset I was. But when it calmed down, they said they would stick by me whatever I chose to do. I knew mum wanted me to keep it.. I wanted to. But as soon as they found out, it seemed like everything was a blur, I had to do something and that something was go to family planning and register for an abortion. I didn’t want it, but I knew I could choose against it later.
Then a week before the abortion, at 9 weeks pregnant, I bled heavily and went to hospital to get it checked out. The baby was fine, and myself and my boyfriend saw it wiggling about on the screen. He didn’t speak for the rest of the day, and I thought that made him change his mind. It didn’t… and we went back to hours of me crying in bed and him explaining why we had to get rid of it. He would tell me he wasn’t ready to be a dad, and once even shouted “i don’t love it” I realize now how I was manipulated, forced into believing it was best for me and I could have a good life afterwards. I walked into the hospital numb, like I didn’t realize what I was doing, and walked out without my baby.
I felt like I was taking it so well, yet 3 days later, on Christmas Eve, the baby came out on my underwear. I cried, and had the worst Christmas of my life, digging a little hole in the woods and burying it on my own coz my boyfriend refused to come. I was hysterical, but thought I would get closure.
After that, everything seemed to be going okay. I’d cry some nights, regretting what I’d been made to do. But recently it’s been worse. I cry all the time. On the bus to college… on the way home from work… I feel like I have no one to talk to – my boyfriend just says “it’s gone, you have to get over it” when I bring it up and get upset. My doctor’s sending me to a counsellor. My mum and dad both stress that I should talk to them, but there’s no talking anyway. I just cry and nothing that anyone can say can make it better. I cried so much in my dad’s arms that he cried too, and told me he would do anything to make me better, even go back and dig up my baby to put it in the garden without anyone even knowing.
The truth is it’s broken me. I feel like an empty shell. I make my boyfriend cry and we argue all the time ‘coz i blame him and shout and call him names. But I do blame him.. I know it was my choice but I feel I was unknowingly pushed. I would do anything to still be pregnant. My baby would be due around June, and every day I regret what I did. It breaks my heart knowing I wasn’t sure, and have made a mistake. I see other women with their babies and children and think that, even though I’m 17, I would have made a great mum. I’d do anything to take it back.
I wish I’d found this site beforehand, and I’m gonna keep an up-to-date blog on how things go.
