My hope is restored!
Just before Easter, an amazing thing happened.  I lost my baby to abortion many years ago.  The father and I had a brief romance and afterward became friends.  I never told him about the pregnancy, and for years I felt a terrible guilt.  Of course I felt guilty for my own decision, but I also […]

Just before Easter, an amazing thing happened.  I lost my baby to abortion many years ago.  The father and I had a brief romance and afterward became friends.  I never told him about the pregnancy, and for years I felt a terrible guilt.  Of course I felt guilty for my own decision, but I also felt bad that I never gave him the chance to convince me otherwise.  I just assumed, and acted on that assumption.  I moved away from where I lived and lost contact with him for many years.  I always wondered if we’d ever meet again.   I’ve prayed often over the years for healing and for peace of mind.   Well, long story short, we’ve become aquainted again!   It’s so amazing!   Even though we will never revisit the relationship we once had, we now have the chance to become friends again.   I can’t describe how healing it is, just to have this chance.   I have often fantasized about a time machine, that I would have a second chance to do things differently.  (Two of my favorite stories are “A Christmas Carol” and “Its a Wonderful Life.”)  I feel that although God wasn’t about to give me a handy time machine, this meeting has given me the equivalent of a second chance.   For the first time, I was able to talk to my unborn child in heaven.  I usually just talk to God and tell him to tell her I’m sorry.  But I was finally able to say, “Baby, I found your daddy.”    I hope that I can make her proud of me.  I want her to know that she didn’t die in vain.  I repented of my selfishness.  I don’t know if I can ever do enough to make up for the past, but I try.   There is hope after the fact.   Painful as it is, life does go on and sometimes God says, “Well, let me give you this little nugget of goodness and see what you do with it.”  Thank you, God.

Need Help? Contact Jewel!

Search StandUpGirl.com

More StandUpGirl Articles