SO TODAY IS REALLY NOT A GOOD DAY.
LATELY, I’VE BEEN FEELING SO SCARED AND CONFUSED. I’M SCARED BECAUSE I’M DOING THIS WHOLE PREGNANCY WITHOUT THE HELP OF THE FATHER. I’M CONFUSED BECAUSE I THOUGHT HE WAS BETTER THAN THIS. THEN TO LEAVE ME ALONE TO DO THIS ALONE. I’M NOT ASKING FOR HIM TO BE WITH ME, BUT JUST TO BE HERE TO SUPPORT ME. I’M MORE SAD AT THE FACT THAT I COULDN’T TELL FAKE FROM REAL. I JUST CAN’T BELIEVE HE STATED HE COULDN’T DO THIS, THAT HE’S NOT READY FOR ANOTHER BABY. BUT I’M MORE SAD FOR MY BABY BECAUSE HE’S MADE IT CLEAR HE ONLY WANTS HIS 2-YEAR-OLD. BUT I’M THANKFUL TO HAVE MY FAMILY.
AM I WRONG FOR FEELING LIKE THIS?
So I recently found out I am pregnant, 9 weeks to be exact.
It’s kind of crazy that me getting into an accident is how I would find out I am pregnant. When I was told by one of the ER nurses, I wasn’t shocked because it didn’t hit me at the time. I told the guy that same night. I was hoping he would’ve been supportive, but he freaked. He wants me to get an abortion because he’s not ready to be a dad again. Him and I were never really together, just two good friends who enjoyed each other’s company, I guess you could say. I can honestly say we are no longer good friends or friends at all. I was for an abortion mainly because kids terrify me, but once I saw my baby during an ultrasound, everything changed.
Personally, I believe the father of my baby hates me because I wouldn’t get an abortion. We no longer talk, mainly because I thought he was my friend, but some of the stuff he’s said have been so hurtful that I don’t want my baby around that. Who knows, he could have said hurtful things because he’s scared and in shock. But it’s not fair if he’s scared or whatever because I’m the one carrying the baby and never made any harsh statements to him about this whole situation. I’m scared because I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m going to be raising this child as a single parent. He says he doesn’t want another baby so I basically made the choice and told him that I don’t expect anything from him. I’m just thankful that I have my family by my side and that’s all that matters. Lately though, I been sad thinking how someone who once said they cared and would always be there can just turn their back on something they help made. Somedays, I cry all day because I’m hurt at the reality of how fake people could be.
I’m just confused and sad about my situation, but I want to be happy…
In the morning, I woke up from a bad dream… In my dreams, I took 2 pregnancy tests (a digital and a strip one). They say “NEGATIVE” then because of the result, I will not be able to carry a child anymore., (T_T)
I know it’s weird, but it affects me so much. Coz last night, I kept on watching, on YouTube, girls who were taking pregnancy tests and got a “POSITIVE” and there was so much happiness with the positive result.
Then in the afternoon, I went to my friend’s house, visiting her and her baby! Then my boyfriend fetched me then I was telling him about my bad dream… And we decided to buy a PREGNANCY TEST! (which is not planned coz our plan was to take the test tomorrow FRIDAY) because I’m being paranoid. So we went to his place then I took the test in their bathroom… Then I had “NEGATIVE” (T_T). When I went out, I gave the test result to him and I never talked again. I kept myself silent, wondering what’s wrong. Something like that, are we not meant for each other? So he asked me.. Am I OK? Then I said YES! I’m good… He told that he knew me that I am not good, so I never talked again, then he brought me out with some friends… Then he bought 1 MUCHO OF RED HORSE (mucho means big bottle and red horse is beer). He told me that we will drink, one-on-one, so I can forget all of my wanderings with the result. So he kept on talking to me, telling me not to RUSH myself coz we are not in rush, and to calm myself, to not stress myself too much for my wants… Do not hope too much… We are just waiting… I should be relaxed and he was trying to make me smile, where he wins my SMILE.. 😉 He told me that he was also upset, but he did not want to be sad. For me, he is making himself strong, then he kissed me then hugged me.. (all the time)
OMG! And I find myself now so much HAPPY… Now I really really proud to say to the whole world that “I HAD THE BEST AMONG THE BEST BOYFRIEND EVER.” I am so lucky to have him. 😉 He understands me, he loves me so much… I find myself like his PRINCESS where he take good care of me. 😉 I find myself like HIS GOLD that he don’t want to be stained…
I LOVE HIM SO MUCH! I made a promise to hm that I will be OK! From now on, I will hot hope so much., but now I still have my hopes, but not much.. I have hopes until I never get my period., 😉
Okay, I don’t know if the title may seem like I was going to say that I’m pregnant, but this is about my relationship with my boyfriend. Please read on and if you have any advice, I would gladly accept it 🙂
Well, I’m a freshman in high school this year…I’m 15 years old. My boyfriend is 18 and is a senior. Next year, I’ll be a sophomore and he’ll be a freshman in college. He’s going to college local… Only about 30 minutes away and isn’t dorming so he’ll still be living close by. I know people think a three-year age difference is a bad thing for couples as young as we are, but honestly, I think it depends on the maturity and intentions of the couple. We are so in love, believe it or not. He wants us to wait to have sex until we are married and that’s what we are going to do. We want to be together forever and we want to get married and have a family. He really is the nicest and sweetest guy ever. I really am in love with him. But I know it’s going to be really hard not seeing him every day, but I know we are going to make it. But I just wanted to know if you guys have been through something like this, how to deal with it, and maybe some ideas on how to see each other more often. I know either way, we’ll find a way to make it work.
We’ve been through a lot together, but I want to make this as easy as possible for us.
Dear Emma,
I loved you, now you’re dead
Hormones running through my body, emotions through my head
I love you, now you’re dead
I lie awake in bed
I love you, now you’re dead
It just keeps playing in my head
I loved you, now you’re dead
Although we never met
I loved you, now you’re dead
I’m finding it hard, getting out of bed
I loved you, now you’re dead
I loved you
I love you
…
Now you’re DEAD
Well, Idk what to do anymore….
I’ve been cramping all weekend and really bloated and my back is killing me….. I didn’t miss my period. Me and my boyfriend had sex without protection about 3 days after my period was over, but we will always do it without protection but nothing ever happened…
I’m so confused and scared.
