Well to start off, I kind of figured out that I was pregnant before actually going to the doctors. My menstrual cycle is like clockwork (ALWAYS ON TIME) and I knew that I had had a few times of unprotected sex. So when I didn’t get my period the first month, I thought well it might be stress-induced because I was crammed with school work.
But then I started getting sick and becoming more fatigued, which was unusual because I never get sick to my stomach. So I got worried and I let my boyfriend know something may be going on. He was like your fine, you are just really stressed and need to relax and this was just a warning sign of my body telling me to rest. So I pushed it aside. But month two came and still no period. So I went to my adviser. Well, I guess things aren’t kept confidential anymore because somehow my grandmother all of a sudden wants to take me to the doctors because my adviser called her. So the day came for the appointment and I was really nervous because my grandmother didn’t know that I started having sex again (previously celibate). So the doctor calls me back and ask for my last menstrual cycle which I don’t remember. Next, she asked for a sample of urine which I gave. Then she comes out and my grandmother says that I need to go on birth control, but the doctor stops her and says the test came back positive. And my face drops. The next words that came out of my grandmother’s mouth which really hurt me were “So you’re going to terminate this baby”. I can’t believe she asked me that question. I literally wanted her to just leave. So I called my boyfriend and gave him the news. And at first, he was yelling, then came crying but after a hour, he calmed down. He asked so many question like he didn’t know how girls got pregnant. I am nervous and scared to the point I don’t know what to say or do, or even talk about.
Okay, so here is my story. I need advice on what to do and if I’m making the right choices:
I have been on the depo shot for 3 years. I have been off now 6 months or so and I had a one-day period on Aug 16th and that was all. Then on September 3rd, I had what some people told me was ovulation and had unprotected sex. Then the next day, I started spotting for 4 days off and on and the next week. Afterward, I started having real bad headaches and nausea. I still have those same symptoms. Please help !!! (:
Girl:
Things sure have changed fast! Just three weeks ago, I was wishing to be back with him… I trusted him! He betrayed me.
I’m negative; he’s positive. We broke up three weeks ago. On the 31st of August, I found out. I couldn’t keep it down. I started to tear up because I knew the truth…
Though he accused me of ‘overreacting’, “Are you serious!? So you actually think I cheated on you? Seriously though, you don’t care anymore either? What, no I did not cheat on you. But believe whatever you want. She’s whispering into your ear still. For one thing, those tests can be inaccurate. For another thing, this whole time, this stuff was going through your head and you didn’t think about talking about it with me, but whatever. You wanna be through with me, fine!” That hurt my feelings, it really did.
I never did anything besides love and respect you. Never once did I see another woman. So no, I can’t tell you the answers you’re looking for, but whatever we’re over, right?
You told me not to message you when I’m drinking. Why would you do that to me then? You may go to university, but that doesn’t mean I’m an idiot and don’t know what I’m talking about when it comes to this. You’re breaking my f-ckin heart when I did NOTHING.
Boy:
I’m not the type to cheat. I don’t care what she tells you or what you think you know cuz of some stupid test. You hurt me, you really did…
My mom’s family, all my friends, know that I would never do that to anyone, let alone you. And you haven’t figured that out yet? After how long?
Oh, and my mom’s boss just stopped by. She said it’s possible you could have had a falsified test. Thank you very much for jumping the Gun on me. STDs can stay in your system for up to six months which I’ve told you before and an STD test has about what was it a 78% chance of being correct … I can’t believe this. You get a negative and immediately assume I was cheating then dumped me.
I felt like I begged him to take me back, he said he needed time, the more time he took the more I let go.
I can’t do it anymore, I can’t trust him. I try, I’ve tried so much I have nothing left to give him!
I’m broken, yet I’m trying again to love… Can I? Or when I get back to Canada this Christmas, will he get to me again, confuse me, make me unsure?
All I know is the woman I talk to is sincere, she means something to me, and that something grows every week we talk…
Every week he fades away. Please don’t come back. Just stay away until we are able to just be friends again….
Please stop me from breaking. I don’t want to use her as a crutch, so I keep a distance, but every conversation we get closer!
I’m scared and excited…
So I pour everything I have into my work and my education, so pretty soon there will be nothing to give, no reason to either. Or is that mentality worse than hanging on?
Hi, I don’t really know where to start. Well, I am 19 and I have recently gone through a very tough time. I didn’t want to face it and I think that I might still be in denial in a way. I need to share my story and hopefully get some support. I chose StandUpGirl after browsing many sites because I read some genuinely touching stories and the support that they got via feedback really gave me a push to do this, although I’m very scared. Please don’t judge me. I really am struggling as is.
So, after I completed high school last year, I had to move from my hometown, leave my life, family, and friends behind, to go live with my dad (15 hours away). I was very unhappy and became very lonely. I met a guy at work and fell for him really fast and really hard. He seemed perfect at that time because he was hard-working, committed, independent, outgoing, and driven. So after a while, we started dating. However, my dad was not 100% happy about it.
As our relationship progressed, he started changing. He became possessive, aggressive, obsessive, and very short-tempered. I saw his knives and guns lying around, etc. He forbade me from speaking to my family or friends and went out of his mind if another guy just looked in my direction. (He would break glasses and start fights when this happened). When I said no when he wanted to be intimate, things would get intense, so I just went with it. I became very cautious of him and very uncomfortable and scared. To avoid unnecessary fights, I didn’t say anything. Then he started breaking me down emotionally. He told me things like: I am not a loss to him, no one could ever love someone like me, I am the most selfish person, I am not good enough to achieve my goals or dreams, etc., etc… He did this on a daily basis. Eventually, I started believing him. My self-confidence and self-esteem levels were below 0. He became even worse after I mentioned that I could not take it anymore and I wanted to break up. He threatened to physically hurt my family if I didn’t stay with him and if I said something, he’d make sure that no one believed me. I felt tired, ill (flu-ish) almost constantly, I had extreme back pain and I was very lightheaded and couldn’t focus very well. I figured it was due to the stress.
I became desperate to get away. I fought hard to find reasons to present to my dad so that he would allow me to move back to my hometown. So, eventually, I succeeded. He allowed me to go back home. I just went. When I got there, my circumstances became much better and I felt like my life was back on track again. Yet, I kept feeling ill… I realized eventually that I was 2 weeks late. So I went for a blood test. On the 11th of July, I got the news that I was pregnant. I was blank. I knew that I was against abortion all my life, and I have always been obsessed with babies and having my own family. But I knew that I did not want my ex to be any part of my life. I knew that my parents would lose it if I told them. I knew that I could not provide for a baby on my own. I knew I would have wanted the best for my child if I had kept it.
On the 15th of July, I went to the hospital in the early morning. My older sister came with me. We went in to see a nurse who sent me to radiology to get a scan… I was already 5 weeks and 4 days pregnant. There was no heartbeat yet. But I lost it right there, I just wanted it over. I had an abortion. I still feel in a sense as though nothing happened. That it was all just a dream. I hate myself for getting into the situation in the first place, but I knew that I made the right decision for myself and my baby. DO NOT mistake me saying that as saying that it’s right or okay to have an abortion. Cause I still hate myself and blame myself. I never thought that it would happen to me. I don’t know how to deal with it all. I don’t know anything anymore.
I eventually told my ex about it, stupidly hoping he would support or comfort me in some way, instead he started calling me a murderer and a sick person and I deserve to die and never to be fertile again. He carried on like this. He drunk dialed me, yelling at me, asking me where his child is and to give his effing child to him. He set me pictures of babies and quotes about abortion and links to sited saying what terrible people we are. I apologized to him for doing what I did, every day… He didn’t stop. I had enough. I couldn’t take anymore, I felt horrible enough as is. So I got a new phone and number.
So, I’m sitting here, not knowing where to go from here, not knowing how to feel or how to deal with the fact that I chose to murder my own baby. I feel like I am going to be punished for this, for the rest of my life.
Dear me,
How could this happen!? He’s been diagnosed with Chlamydia and now you might have it as well?
How could that have even happened? It must have happened with one of the other two, but was it from the one in November?
Or your ex from December to April?
That would explain why your body has been behaving strangely, though has it already changed from chlamydia to pelvic inflammatory disease?
Are you now infertile? What can I do now? Please God don’t make me infertile. I know I’m young to be asking for this, but I want children in the future.
Please don’t take that from me…
Well, the best bet now is to see the doctor tomorrow with a friend.
Let’s hope my abdomen stops aching and I finally find out what is going on with me.
This is what happens when things go too well… Or is it karma for when I was younger?
Dear me,
I know in my gut that I’m not pregnant, but at this point, that would be so much better than what has been happening now.
It’d be so much better, though I wouldn’t be ready now I would be by the time it was here.
Am I selfish to think this?
Oh well, one day at a time, and hopefully things will get better.
My name is [redacted], and I’m 19 years old. A few years ago, I went through an incredibly rough time, struggling with depression and a lot of fighting in my family. The result was that I fell behind a year in school. I took a turn for the better and got my life on track. I’m proud to say – even though it took some extra time – that I graduated in June of this year. I got accepted to university and my program starts in September. This is the first time in my life I feel as if the people around me really feel proud of who I’ve become.
Today, though, I found out I’m pregnant. I am blessed to have the most supportive man in the world as my boyfriend, so he is behind me 100%. He and I both feel as if this baby is ours. We didn’t for a second even consider abortion. I truly am grateful I didn’t have to struggle through that. The things that have me worried are the judgment of the people in our lives, and what this means for my future plans.
Can I even go through university trying to raise a child? I feel like it’s not possible, especially for me. I can’t handle a crazy amount of stress. If I tried to juggle the family alongside school I might go insane. I am perfectly fine with postponing my education or even sacrificing it for the sake of this little one. But if I did, what could I do to support my baby while my boyfriend is in school for 4 years? I know I couldn’t ask him to give up his university plans. It’s not cheap supporting a child, I know that.
Do any girls out there have stories and advice on what you did to manage finances when your baby came into the world? I’m a little more than scared. Excited and already in love with this miracle, but never more terrified. I only want the best for my baby.
