June 16th, I found out I was pregnant.
At first, I was a little happy, sad, and confused all in one. I was nervous. It was exactly 2 weeks before my 20th birthday. I told my boyfriend. We both came to the conclusion that neither one of us were ready to be parents. I was 6 weeks and 6 days along. So June 26th, I was scheduled to get started the first part of the procedure. (It was 2 parts: I did the abortion pill). As I was sitting in the room talking to the doctor, all I could hear was my baby saying “Mommy, don’t do it” or maybe it was my conscience. Either way, I didn’t listen to it and I swallowed the pill. I so regret doing that. I swear I wanted to get up and run out of there and keep the seed that I had in me. The next day when I took the 2nd n final pill… That was the worst pain I had ever been in, both physically and emotionally. The mere thought of flushing MY baby down the toilet hurt so much.
It’s been 17 days since the procedure and I feel so low right now. This is by far the lowest I have ever felt. This is not how I planned on spending my summer, all down and depressed. And the worst part about it is that my boyfriend isn’t even here to console me. Neither was he there on the day of the procedure or the next day. And that just makes it so much worse because I feel like I’m alone right now and I hate feeling this way. Every day, I think about the decision I made and I regret it from the bottom of my heart.
On 6/27, my baby went to heaven.
