Okay, so here is my story. I’m 26 years old and I have a beautiful daughter. She is 8 years old.

I broke up with her father 2 years old when he went to jail for the 2nd time in her life. In April, I was able to finally stand alone.  I got my own apartment and I have been doing Great as far as taking care of her which I have always done and maintaining a stable home, which I just recently done. That’s the good part.

Back in June, I met another guy. Everything seemed so perfect. He was amazing at first. Then in April, we finally broke up. I was upset but I was moving on.  I saw him on and off until October. He had met someone new in April and by May, she was pregnant.  I was upset but I was still OK. Well up until October, he was trying to convince her to get an abortion.  She already had another child which had been taken from her by the child’s father. This girl expressed to me that “I don’t give a f@#k about a baby. I’m all about a check”. I knew then for sure she wanted to have a baby to hurt him.  She constantly threatened him that he will never see the baby. She even went so far as to have some guy put a gun to his head and others who threatened to kill him. Well, she had other boyfriends while she was pregnant and when her and the other guys split up, she would always end up in the emergency room, and of course, he had to run to her rescue. I think that might be his baby.

Okay so had been back to together officially in October and I thought I could handle everything. Until November, when the girl goes to the hospital and he had to run again. I was fed up and annoyed. I explained to him that his situation was too much for me. Then in the beginning of December, I find out that I too am pregnant. Then on the 21st, they had their baby. The baby was 2 lbs 10 ozs. This girl never took her meds and was always trying to fight, she even wanted to fight me. Which I never did because I know this guy would have never been able to forgive me if we fought and something happened to the baby. No, the baby just started breathing on her own and the DNA test was yesterday and I don’t know the results yet.  But I am terrified.

What am  supposed to do? I am going to keep my baby but I know I am going to be all alone. And my daughter’s father and I are really good friends but once he finds out, our friendship will end. I have no one to talk to because anyone I tell will think I’m so stupid for keeping this baby under these conditions.  But I can’t help but think that having an abortion because of imperfect conditions is not right for me. I haven’t talked to the guy in a couple of days. I just want to be able to sit down and decide a plan so they we can get through this with the least amount of stress as possible. I’m also hoping and praying this baby isn’t his. Because if it is, then he and I separately or together will have so many problems. Plus when I told him, he said he wanted me to have his baby. I feel so alone and stressed out. I feel selfish because no matter whose baby she is, I am only thinking about me and mine and how I feel, when there is a baby fighting for her life.

I feel like a horrible person.