Technically, I am already late. Today will be 5 days. But that’s if I had a regular 28-day schedule. I keep track of my periods on mycycle.com and have found that my schedule, on average, is 33 days. So, going by that, I am due tomorrow.

But, looking over the last few months & going by what my doctor has recently told me about how I don’t ovulate every month, I am self-diagnosing (and going by the symptoms my doctor told me to watch for) on the months that I don’t ovulate. My cycle is long-ranging from 35-45 days.

And on the months I do ovulate, my schedule is “normal,” ranging from 28-31 days.

So judging by symptoms & the fact that my breasts are so sore right now, I could barely deal with them during my workout this morning… I definitely ovulated this month.

And, judging by my ovulation calculator, we tried twice during the week that I was ovulating. One of which was on a day that I was very fertile (according to the chart).

I’ve had other symptoms too, but I’m not even going to get into that because I always obsess about these things & it always turns out to be a false alarm.

But- going by a normal month for me at 31 days max, I am now one day late. I am going to wait until next Saturday to take a test, (f I make it that long), which will be cycle day 40.

So, in one hand, I have my fingers crossed & in the other, I am terrified that my dream might actually be becoming reality. And doubting if that is what I really wanted.

I know for sure after this month, there will be no more trying. We will wait until after our wedding & when our bills are paid off. It is only fair to our unborn child. Although we have a house, new cars, and both very stable incomes, I want more for our child then just that.