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I want to see the guys answering to this. I never had an abortion but very close at 23 weeks, I couldn’t sign the consent form and my partner was there but couldn’t seem to understand I deeply din’t want to go through with it. He saw it as an operation, like when I got my tonsils taken out as a child and promised everything would be fine and an abortion was fixing everything.
I don’t know if he’s perception would have changed if I went through with it but that’s one guys point of view on an abortion.
I felt like I was going to mess everything up too (I still do sometimes at 26 weeks) and I followed my heart rather than my brain and kept the child. It is pretty miraculous how everything turned out for you. Just tell him the same way you told him the first time and you took precautions to prevent it so he should understand. It will all work out, you can include him by talking about it, going appointments together, preparing for it together, good luck
Sounds similar to the way my partner reacted, he was calm when I told him I was pregnant but when I said i’m keeping it he was real angry saying all sorts on how I messed up everything etc, but after a few days he calmed down and told me what was really going through he’s head, plus he was going through so much stress too.
So they need to talk, he could actually be just scared but anger is the only way he could express it, if he is a decent guy like you say he is then he should calm down eventually. I guess if he already has problems he may see a pregnancy adding on to he’s list of problems (espesh being young, its hard enough). Plus guys are likely to take a longer time to get used to it since it’s the females that carry it. They won’t understand the whole maternal feeling
I agree, I would have more ok with having an abortion before 10 weeks, but I told him over and over again that I’m half way and I can’t have an abortion (because I simply do not want to sign to have a doctor tear my baby apart) and he said that was not a good enough reaosn, I’ve been feeling so guilty and he was on the phone to me for 3 ours trying to convince me to get it done.
I live in the Uk and here it is legal till 24 weeks, I really think it should be lowered. So I would have 2 days left where I can do it
It’s a tough tough choice, it ain’t easy. Wow twins, that will be a lot to handle but when you are determined you will make it, it’s always the difficult stuff in life that’s rewarding, so it will all be worthwhile.
I’m 16 weeks along and it was hard to decide if I wanted to keep just this 1 baby or not. I am just about to finish 1st year uni (gowshh the debt), I havent’t told my mum, mainly because she is going through money issues and this will not help. Despite all the external factors I had to think about what I actually wanted. I have gone most my life pleasing others and I knew if I had an abortion to make everyone elses life easier I would be soo miserable, so I decided to keep it. I would say think about what you want then consider the external points, wheather it goes for or against what you want and you can make a decision from there.
Money will always be an issue. Do you have savings or are you working? It is expensive, it will also be good to look at family support and maybe even the benefits you are entitled to.
As for the boyfriend, that can be a huge determination factor. I have been on and off with mine for 2 years and at 1st he was supportive but now he is having doubts and he is less interactive but to be honest right now its about this baby and I’m giving him time to ‘cool off’ or whatever but don’t let him force you into anything. Talk to him, see where it goes and good luck.
It’s all different for all of us but I wish you the best. It really ain’t easy.
