Mia3

Hey Girl, I’m so glad to hear from you because I was getting a little worried there for a while. First of all, has there been any change in your situation? I know that your due date is coming up shortly right? So how are you feeling? Has any advice that you got helped you any? Like I said in my earlier response I have been through your same situation and I have come out of it when I really didn’t think I could. My ex boyfriend was a controlling, abusive, posessive, jealous maniac. When he found out I was pregnant with his child he went crazy and beat me to the point where I actually miscarried. Even after that I felt exactly like you did, I knew that I should leave him but I just couldn’t because I "loved" him and he "loved" me and he could be the sweetest man ever when he wasn’t angry. I would even get angry when other people would criticize him for the way he was and I would feel the need to come to his defense. It was crazy, I know. But deep down inside I knew that I had to get out of that situation before it was too late, and after a lot of soul searching and crying I decided that I’d had enough. Now you said you needed tips on how to go about leaving so first things first, you have to decide if you are seriously ready to leave him or not. Otherwise you are just wasting your time, and when you do go back to him he’s going to be really angry about what you did and he will definitely take it out on you. So if you’re really ready to leave here’s what you have to do. You have to have a plan, if you just get up and go one day you’re more than likely going to end up back with him because you don’t know where your going and what to do next. So this step is very important. Next you’ll have to do some research. Just pick up a phone book or go online and see what kind of help they offer in your area for girls like you. Trust me your not alone. Oh and please try and let someone ( who you can trust) know what you are doing so in case God forbid he finds out and something happens to you. I’m not trying to scare you I just want you to be careful. Next thing is, when you leave you have to just simply disappear. If you let him get you on the phone or arrange to meet with him he will suck you back in. Also, don’t go anywhere that he’ll expect you to go. If he finds you he will do whatever he has to do to get you back. If it all possible go somewhere FAR away. When I left I went two and a half hours away. It’s going to be hard and you’re going to feel alone but please don’t let that stop you. Just remember, out of sight, out of mind. The longer you go without any contact with him, the easier it gets. Also try to remember that any attempt he makes to get you back does not mean that he loves you. Men like that have control issues and the fact that he no longer has control over you is going to drive him crazy, that’s why I say you should have absolutely NO contact with him. Look sweetie, I could go on and on about this but I would really like to talk with you one on one because I really feel that I can help you, so if you would like my help please let me know. I would be more than willing to exchange email with you to help walk you through this step by step, because it can be very scary doing it alone. So PLEASE let me help you! I’ll be waiting to hear from you Ok. Good Luck!

Mia

Hey Sweetie, I’m sorry to say this but that man (if you can call him that) is never going to change. I know from personal experience that if he hits you once he will hit you again and again. Of course you already know that don’t you? He obviously doesn’t love you and believe it or not you don’t love him either. I think you just feel obligated to stay because you’re having a child together. If you stay with him I guarantee you will regret it. Is this the kind of life you want for your child? Think about it, if your having a boy and he grows up in that type of lifestyle he will grow up and do the same thing to his wife/girlfriend. And if you have a girl she will grow up thinking that this type of behavior is acceptable and in 20 years she could be in your same situation. Is that what you want for your child? I’m sure you don’t. If this man is capable of hitting you while your pregnant with his child, don’t you think he will eventually start abusing your child too? If you can’t leave him for your own sake, shouldn’t you at least try to leave him for your innocent child’s sake? I’m not saying it’s going to be easy because its going to be very hard in the beginning but it will get better in time. I’d really like to talk to you more about this because I am really worried for you, so please email me if you’d like. If you’d rather not I can respect that, but I’ll be here if you need to talk. Well, I’ll definitely be praying for you! Hope to hear from you again.