gbrown68

I am 38 years old and have a good feeling I know what you’ve been going through and what you will continue to go through. Is this man worth the pain he will cause you and your children? He needs some serious treatment and until you let go and let him fall, he will never hit rock bottom like he needs to. You are there to let him walk all over you and continue to take him back. You are enabling his behavior and therefore, he knows he can always count on you to take him back no matter what.
So, what you need to do is get ready to start taking care of you and your children. Your children are most important here and you need to take care of them and keep them safe. You have made some choices that have affected your future so far, please don’t make another bad choice by staying with him. What you can do is not get married to him and let him know you’ll be more than happy to support him while he goes through a treatment program, but he needs to get himself better and start moving down the right road.
My ex husband has been in treatment about 7 times. Out of the 7, probably 3 -4 while I was still with him. Yes, I was pregnant too. What a miserable time. I was pregnant for the 1st time and he went into treatment. I couldn’t enjoy my 2nd pregnancy at all. I’ll never forget my mom saying at Christmas time when I broke the news to her that I was 3 months pregnant………….why’d you go and do that? It still makes me feel bad. I know what she meant, but when you pregnant your hormones make you extra emotional. That’s been over 12 years, but it’s like it was said yesterday. Anyway, I finally made up my mind to just be done with things. I was worth more than the way he treated me, all the nights up after coming home at 2:30 and all the yelling and verbal abuse. I didn’t need to raise my kids in that kind of enviroment. Wow! It was a hard road, but I made it. You can too. You don’t need to be treated that way either. I had many of nights where I picked him up from his drinking bouts, picked him up at the hospital with my boys, called the jail to see if he’d been arrested, and called the morgues. Not a fun thing. And you know what? Your life would be so much easier not having to deal with this anymore. I couldn’t believe the relief it gave to me and the kids when I said I was done. I know it’s a hard thing to do, but you have the strength to do it. It’s now been 9 years and I’ve never been happier. In the beginning he would harrass me, climbed on the top of my house several times trying to get into the house, came to my back door in the middle of the night and I took many of calls. It gets better. It really does. It just takes time. In the meantime, you will get stronger and feel better about yourself and the kind of world you are bringing your new child(ren) up in. My ex took several years more to finally come to a point where he was ready for the treatment and has now been sober for 2 1/2 years. And, guess what? Sober or not, I am happier without him. We get along very well and my kids are happier now that dad is sober. That’s the only thing you can wish for, but you can’t do it. He has to do it himself. If you have to raise this baby(s) on your own, you’ll just have to find the courage to do so. That brings me to now. Again, I am 38, pregnant for the last time and so very happy. I will be getting married some time this year, but we’re not in any rush to do so. We are just taking this all as it comes. He is a wonderful man and has been for 5 years. My kids love him and you too can find the same thing. But, you first have to take care of you before this can all happen. Life is a rough road and things happen for a reason. You are just made stronger by everything that has come your way. If you ever want to talk, feel free to email me. I’d be mroe than happy to talk with you and support you with the choices you need to make. Good Luck and God Bless you and your family!
Gabrielle