….if I should give birth, will I still look presentable afterward?

I dreamed of becoming a model someday and designing my own clothes to dress great and walk into a runway show…

But suddenly, I woke up from that dream. What I dreamed just vanished. For just a simple curiousness led me to a destroyed road of success… I thought I was so close enough to what I dreamed… Because they said that I got the looks, the body, and the brain. But all of a sudden, my affection burst. I was blinded by my ego and hatred. I destroyed my own dream….. The dream that I have planned…

And now, should I blame myself?