I thought it was over. I thought I had forgiven him for asking me to do such a horrible thing, but I can’t stop thinking about what he asked me to do and every time I think about it, I feel so angry and disgusted by him!!
I hate him for making me pregnant and asking me to abort my baby. I hate him!! I can’t forgive him. The pain is just too much.
I can’t forgive him!
It was January 28. I remember it like it was yesterday.
It was the day that I took my first ever pregnancy test. I was only 17 years old and still in high school. As I waited for the results to show up on the screen, I felt so nervous on what it was going to say. Some people say that some people know when they are pregnant, that they can feel that their bodies are changing. As I looked down onto the bathroom sink, the stick said pregnant (I had one of those digital tests). So many things ran through my mind at the time, but I don’t believe in abortions so I knew what I had to do. Knowing that I had my family and my baby’s daddy made everything okay.
Well around the time I was about 5 months, that’s when things started to go bad. My baby daddy stopped calling and stopped coming by. I went about 2 months without talking to him, I finally found him hanging outside some girl’s house. Nevertheless, things started to get a little better between me and him and then he asked me to marry him. Well on October 13, I went into labor and on October 14 at 4:51 am, my daughter was born. Yeah, her father was there the whole time. I thought that everything was going to be okay. I was so wrong. About 6 months later, I found out that he had been cheating on me since my daughter was 1 month old and after catching him numerous times at her house, I broke it off with him.Being the person that I am (I used to be), I went to her house on one of those days and I got into a fight with her cousin. Then a couple of days later at the courthouse, I hit the girl with my car (she wouldn’t move). After all this they decided to go and have me up for trespassing, assault, assault with a deadly weapon, and communicating threats. Oh if I could turn back the hands of time.
Well to make a long story shorter, my daughter is now 3 years old and is the LOVE of my life. My baby daddy hasn’t even tried to see her ever. He hasn’t ever brought her anything. Wait……. he did give her $20 once (LOL). I feel bad because I do want her to know her father, but I don’t know where he lives, or how to get in touch with him. I’ve given up on that. He also hit me once, thinking I was his girlfriend (that he does hit) but I fixed that quickly. I stabbed him. Now I know this wasn’t a good idea and he could have died but he never tried it again. A couple of months ago, Social Services finally found him (YEAHHHHH!!!) so I have a court order for child support. He hasn’t paid anything yet, but who cares cuz if he doesn’t pay, he goes straight to jail. I am kind of mad because my daughter hasn’t gotten anything for her birthday or for Christmas from him, but GOD has blessed us and we don’t need him for anything. Sometimes I wish that I would have never met him but then I realize that If I hadn’t then I wouldn’t have my daughter. She made me what I am today and I love her to death. He is so mad at me that he thinks that by cussing me out and not paying his child support is hurting me but he is actually hurting himself. My boyfriend takes care of us both now.
I know remind myself that he is the one missing out because we have a beautiful daughter and he’s missing out on a lot.
I guess like all girls finding out she’s pregnant while still in school and the future ahead of her is daunting….I know I’m one of those girls.
I conceived in Oct. but never realised I was pregnant till Nov… literally the week of Thanksgiving… Oh, what a holiday shocker! I had not started my period so that was cause for concern but not that much… I mean my periods had been a little weird lately so I wasn’t too concerned. I got the surprising news when I went in for my birth control shot… Well, routinely taking my pregnancy test… the results were “POSITIVE”!
No one knew what to say…least of all me…I mean…me, the girl who was bound for college. I had a gorgeous boyfriend, a grade average….a wonderful life it seems… Well, things just aren’t what they are when you think you do.
Well I’m pregnant… The father will be around….just us not together… He isn’t ready for a baby…and he knows it… It’s sad because I realised…being pregnant and having children not only means your body changes but your mind and the way you start to view life.
I want everything for my baby….I may not be able to provide it all….but God knows I will try!!! Hope everything goes alright and I found out I’m having a beautiful baby boy!!
I`m torn. I found out I was 13 weeks pregnant on tuesday. I think Its crazy because the last time I had unprotected sex with my boyfriend we immediately went to a clinic and got the day after pill. Well I guess it didn’t work and he seems to think it has to be destiny. I want to have this baby, I`m just scared for myself. I have SO many doubts. What if I suck at being a Mom, what if I regret it? from everyone I’ve talked to who has had a baby as young as me (17 turning 18 in May)younger and I’ve never heard of anyone straight up regretting it. What if I never finish school. Would life as I know it be gone entirely & my whole life be just be about the baby. Would I still be able to go out and have fun sometimes? I mean I`m not a partier to the extreme, I just like to have fun once in awhile. Basically I just think I need answers to my questions. I got a TON. I need support, I have not yet told my parents. They’re not SUPER strict my Mom knows I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years now. And we were planning a life together. She knows were sexually active, actually her and my Dad have told me that they’ll love me no matter what. I just don’t want to disappoint them, I’ve always wanted to be the one kid they’ve had that they were super proud of. You know?& Its just I don’t have a career, How will I make money. Thankfully I have my GED. but besides that not alot of stuff is going on for me. I thought I could do an abortion, and I still could. BUT when I went to the clinic, they took an ultrasound, The doctor gave me a copy and I asked, “does it have a heart?” & she replied “yes” I felt my own heart drop, How am I supposed to go through with this now? How can I get rid of something living off of me, Something that is me. I’m catholic and so Is my Parents. I mean my family isn’t at church every sunday. I just really want some support, and some inspiration. I just want to know that everything is going to be okay. That I can still live out a good life. I just want to know if teen parents can be happy. What helps ALOT though is my Boyfriend, He’s always been there for me. And he always will, even if were not together. He’s super responsible. and I’ve been with him for awhile. We spend every single day with each other. He is even willing to work two jobs to support me if I have the baby. I`m already feeling kinda iffy towards getting an abortion. I don`t even really want to think about it. I have to decide what I`m going to do before Saturday, I have an appointment at the Clinic and If I show up, I’ll be getting an Abortion. That’s the latest I can get one around here. I’m torn between two things.
My future and a Baby. But Can`t I have both?
Hi, I’m 16 years old. I have a 19 month old baby girl named Ellie.
When I was 12 years old (7th grade), I started going down the wrong path. I was very aggressive, and did drugs. I was sent to juvi once for hurting someone. After that, you would think I would learn to change my life for the better, but no. I was kicked off my lacrosse not once but TWICE for aggression (7th grade and last year). Then came the awful day, the summer before 8th grade, I lost my virginity. Everything went fine, but I didn’t know anything about that stuff because we have abstinence-only education. I thought I was pregnant because I was a week late, but I wasn’t. I still didn’t try to fix my life. A month later, I found out I was pregnant! No one was supportive or helped me at all. I was left all alone to suffer. My best friends stopped hanging out with me and completely stopped talking to me. Everyone at school, was calling me names and was just really mean to me. I knew I wasn’t ready for a baby. So then I went to the Health clinic to get an abortion. When I got into the room, I couldn’t go through with it. I was way too scared… not about the baby but me! I thought it might hurt.
Slowly through the pregnancy, I become way less selfish. I started thinking of the baby. It never really felt I was pregnant throughout the pregnancy. My mom was slowly becoming more supportive of me also. Almost every night, I would cry in my room, scared for my future, and she would come in and hug me. She told me that everything was going to be okay.
Finally, after 9 months of suffering, Ellie was born. I was never so happy in my life, I was a mommy. A very young one but still a mommy! After she turned 2 months old, I knew I wouldn’t be able to take care of her so I gave her to my cousin to take care of while Marching Band started. In the back of my mind, I thought constantly about her. Not even after a month later, I got her back. This was the hardest decision of my life! I was going to mother her, and help her.
Now she is 19 months old, and she is my lil angel! I never thought a lil girl would get my life back on track. Only once I have made a huge mistake, I was kicked off the lacrosse team again (as mentioned earlier). She has saved my life big time! I don’t know where I would be right now if she wasn’t born! Now I am a sophomore in high school, and I get very good grades. I was a varsity lacrosse player and member of the marching band. I am 2nd chair flute (2nd best flute in the school and I’m only a sophomore! ). I don’t plan on having another, one is hard enough to take care of while trying to still be a “normal” teenager.
Ellie has taught to take life as it is, and that no matter how hard things can get, it will always turn out for the better! Maybe not today or tomorrow but someday it will help you! And most importantly, Don’t give up! Life may not be perfect but there is a reason your living!!
I AM PROUD TO BE A TEENAGE MOTHER!! <3
When I started seeing my son’s dad, I never imagined us raising a child together in two homes with all the complications that come along with it.
It was a secret fling that only we and a couple of close friends knew about. He didn’t want anyone to know we were together because he had just split up with his girlfriend and didn’t want her to think it was for me and I was actively attending church and didn’t want to be obvious about the life I was living behind closed doors. We had been together for a couple of months in the past, but it was never a serious thing so no one thought it strange for us to be around each other so much. After all, we were friends, almost as close as family. At that point, his family considered me family and my daughter called his parents grandpa and grandma because they encouraged her to do so. They were there for me if my car broke down, or I needed groceries, you name it. Until, March 31st. I found out I was pregnant by him, even though according to us we were not seeing each other, right???
Now my son is 3 years old. Over the last 3 years, his dad has had many girlfriends and that is the only time he comes around is when he is in a relationship. His family still buys gifts for the kids but we are never invited over for Thanksgiving any more or any other events like that. His mom and stepdad are still involved with me and my husband though because we knew them from church before we were even together and before the whole dating my son’s dad thing. Anyways, I have been struggling lately because his dad has a girlfriend and it is a steady thing so he has been taking him every other weekend since Father’s day. My son comes home doing things that he is not allowed to do here and this morning, he was repeatedly saying “F**K” and I asked him what he was saying in a calm voice and he just replied, my daddy’s house. It is really hard trying to teach him good things and to correct bad behavior when I have to give him up every other weekend to someone who doesn’t live or speak to the standard we do in our home.
Back when I got pregnant with him, I was still smoking pot and going to the bar and using foul language (not in front of my daughter though). I never thought of the consequences. I never thought that I would be clean and sober and not use bad words. I don’t judge those who do but still when it comes to the kids, use a clean mouth around the kids, don’t smoke around the kids, don’t drink in front of the kids. If you are not worried about your own standard, worry about your kid’s standards. They don’t deserve it. My son didn’t ask for me to be all lust filled and have secret sex with his dad. It just happened and I got pregnant and I grew up and started making better choices and his dad didn’t. That is the life I have given my son because I was too busy thinking of what I wanted and when I wanted it. I was not content to stay home with my daughter on the weekend, I had to go party. I had not learned my lesson the first time around and “it would never happen to me again”. Now I have to share my precious son with a guy that smokes around him and obviously uses bad words around him. I can only control my part when he is home to correct the things he learns over there but if I had waited to have sex until I was married to a man who shared my same values and promised to commit to me forever like I did this time, I wouldn’t have had to worry about my son the way I do. I am convinced that if I had waited that I would still have my little Jeremiah James, he would just have different genetics.
It just really breaks my heart to read about how so many girls want to have babies with these guys they have only known for a short time. Once you have a baby, you will grow up whether the dad does or not and more times than not, he will not change and you will have major disagreements about how you want your child to be raised. Save yourself the grief ,save your child the grief. Don’t act impulsively for the wrong reasons. If a guy won’t wait till marriage to have sex, then he is not worth it. Tell him no and let his true colors show, it is better to break up now than it is when you just find out you are pregnant and he doesn’t even call you for 5 months and shows up with his new girlfriend at the hospital when you have the baby, and then walks in and out of the child’s life and sets a poor example.
Once you are pregnant though, you can’t turn back, abortion is wrong and it is not a “quick fix” or an “easy way out”. If you are pregnant, there is always a new beginning waiting for you. It just might be harder, but if you are not pregnant, stop having sex now before you end up with a heartbroken child who doesn’t understand why he/she is being raised in two different homes. If your boyfriend smokes pot or drinks a lot or smokes cigarettes or cusses like a sailor, imagine your baby being around that and ask yourself, do I really want a baby with him?? Like I said, when you are pregnant, you will change. Your eyes will be opened and you will be given this strong drive to protect your child and it is very difficult when you are protecting your child from their other parent. A child will naturally cling to the parent they see less and cry for them and ask for them all the time so when they do see that parent they will mimic their every move and gesture. Look at this guy you want a baby with and ask yourself, do I want my child to do the things he does???
Sorry for rambling so much, I am in a tough spot right now and I just hope that by sharing this there will be one less person in my spot one day…
