OK, hi everyone… I am the_one_i_love….
OK… My problem is…me and my recent boyfriend just broke up and he was the love of my life… Well, I went into a state of depression…and my friend took me out and I ended up hooking up with this guy that I have liked forever… Well…we didn’t use protection because he claimed that he didn’t have any and now I think I may be pregnant… At first, I didn’t really care whether I got pregnant or not but now that I think about it… I’m so scared… I don’t know what to do…but it’s not the being pregnant and going through the birth that scares me… It’s the fact of what my dad will do to me…because my dad is against interracial relationships and the guy is a different race!
So I need help on getting through this… So if you are reading this…please give me your advice.
I AM 4 WEEKS PREGNANT.
I TOOK A DIGITAL PREGNANCY TEST TODAY.
I AM NOT SURE WHAT TO DO NOW OR WHAT TO THINK. I AM SCARED.
Well, hey. It’s a glorious Wednesday morning in Wrexham, North Wales in the United Kingdom. Over here, it’s 11.35 and I’m in work. Plucked up a small amount of courage today to tell a friend in work about the small matter of being pregnant. Luckily, people are more supportive than you expect and she told me that she would help me as much as she could emotionally wise and also will give me a cover story for my doctor’s appointment. As I’ve only just found out using a home test I’m not 100% sure that it was accurate. ( I must apologise if my spelling is terrible.) So my boyfriend will hopefully find some time to run me to the doctor’s. I’m not entirely sure on whether I can be a mum yet after all I’m only 16, 17 in August and despite looking like I’m perfectly relaxed, I’m actually terrified.
The shock has died down a little and I’m feeling mixed emotions at the moment. What will I tell my mum? How will we cope? Is an abortion the answer? None of these questions I’m able to answer except my beliefs at the moment about abortion stand at abortion being morally wrong. A life is a life after all and all life is precious.
My boyfriend’s mum will hopefully be supportive as I live under her roof. She’s a really relaxed person and has supported me in the past with issues with school and work so I’m confident that she will be happyish about it.
Well, I guess that is all I can say for the time being. Wish me luck people and good luck to all the other mums or mums to be here. 🙂
x
Well here it comes, a whole year of sadness, depression, guilt, and not knowing what to do.
It will soon be a year since my abortion and everyday has been hell for me :(. Sometimes, I just sit and cry and don’t know what to do with myself.
Everyone says that I need to try and forget about it but how can you forget about something you did like that….?
I was at a graduation tonight and many thoughts were stirred in my mind and in my heart…
In the front row, a girl sat with her friends yet in a sense, she sat alone. She sat there as a child entering adulthood but at the same time, she is already so much more of an adult than many of her peers…. They all have had their trials and struggles to make it to the point of graduation, some have probably lost loved ones, some have lost pets, others could have been homeless for parts of their school years, maybe some had been seriously injured or went through surgeries or some other unexpected crisis? This girl’s “unexpected crisis” happened to be pregnancy…How many of the girls in those caps and gowns had faced the same thing? I know 2 others for sure, one walked across the stage rather large, this being her due date, the other made it through the year as a single mom, this one in the front row also delivered just over a month before she proudly received her hard-earned diploma.
But as I sat there listening to the impacting speeches by their peers about, “Standing for something, or you will fall for anything” , “For every person telling you that you cannot make it, there are two others telling you that you can,” I looked at the sea of faces wondering how many were suffering the secret shame of abortion. How many other girls in that graduating class found themselves in a crisis pregnancy? As they walked across the stage they carried a what if while the other 3 girls carried their accomplishment of victory against all odds. No matter where I go or what I do, pregnancy is always on my mind. After spending so much time on Standupgirl.com, I am so aware that every girl I meet or see from afar could be in a crisis with no one to talk to or support them. Even during the graduation, I took my daughter to the bathroom. There was a girl in one of the stalls and she was sitting on the ground, I assumed throwing up… I lingered to make sure she was OK…She had been throwing up and I gently placed my hand on her shoulder to ask her if she thought she might be pregnant… She told me no, but still, who wants to tell a compete stranger if they think they are pregnant? I just feel a need to love on girls who think that they are pregnant or know that they are pregnant. The world makes them to feel that there is no hope, no one to turn to, they will ruin their lives. They push them into some abortion clinic and then bail out on them when they grieve over their child that is no longer within their womb and can never be replaced….I just gently assured her that I just wondered because if she was, I was there to talk to and , with my HUGE belly sticking out, I told her that I knew a lot about it…. Who knows, whether she is pregnant or not, maybe that one gentle reassurance will make her think twice….
So anyways, the words spoken by teachers and graduates during the ceremony were to encourage these young adults that are heading into the real world, but what I heard tonight was what every girl in a crisis pregnancy needs to hear…. Face what the world has to throw at you, Stand for something or you will fall for anything, For every person telling you that you cannot do it, there are two people telling you that you can…. Why can’t we be so willing to share these words with a girl who is facing crisis pregnancy? Why are we so willing to help them “cover it up”, “take care of the problem”, or shun them away and tell them their life is ruined?? The girl in the front row Stood Up. She walked through her senior year pregnant, she gave birth, she stayed in regular school without “hiding” or “covering up”… She boldly states with the way she lives her life and walks with her head held high, “I messed up, but God is bigger than my mistakes, He makes blessings out of my wrongs, He gave me a baby rather than condemnation, He will see me through” and He has. She Stood Up tonight, walked across the stage, received her diploma, and as she exited, she walked past her precious daughter and gave her a kiss while she rested in her grandma’s arms…. She did not carry secret shame or regret across the stage. She carried victory against the odds, the girl who walked across stage on her very due date carried life across that stage, along with humility, but I bet the load is a whole lot lighter to carry than the secret shame of abortion….
The class of 2008 in that room tonight has such a diverse set of life’s trials. There was a sea of faces with so many stories behind each one….but the face that glowed the most in my eyes was the one of the girl in the front row who “Faced what the world has thrown her way” the one who “didn’t give up when the world told her she would fail” and the one who “Stood for something, the life of her child, rather than falling for something, the lie of abortion”…. Now remember if you are in the same shoes, remember this and hold it dear….
“For every person who tells you that you will fail, there are two others telling you that you CAN make it”…
My doctor’s appointment is Friday, June 13th. I’m planning on keeping my baby and I’ve been trying to find some useful/insightful sites to look at.
I’m getting things together so I can fix up my new place before baby gets here…the countdown is on! I’ve got my papa picking up an air conditioner for me at his place of work for $100… Hopefully, all my purchases can be this cheap! I just have some silly questions I need help with: can you drink caffeinated drinks, or diet drinks while you are pregnant? Does anyone know of any useful website to check out? How to you go to community online chat in here?
If anyone could help me out, it would be much appreciated!! Thank you!
