I’m pregnant and my ex and most of his family want me to have an abortion. I agreed to it for him… But now I’m not sure if I am making the choice… I love him and he said if I keep the baby, he won’t talk to me ever again and I don’t want that…
Hi, I have a problem.
I am pregnant, 8.5 weeks, and my husband wants to have an abortion because it would be our 4th child and he doesn’t want another kid. He will leave me with 3 kids and a baby if I don’t do it. I am so confused I don’t know what to do.
Help please
It seems like just yesterday when I found out I was pregnant.
Now I’m going into my 6th month. I’m getting more and more excited as the days go by, but I’m also getting worried about some things. I’m away at school, 2 1/2 hours away from my family and my boyfriend. I am so worried that I’m going to go into early labor, my last day of school is May 8th and I am due on May 23rd. I’m so worried that I’m gonna have to deliver by myself without my mother and boyfriend by my side. I’m just hoping for the best in that situation. On another note, me and my boyfriend are nowhere near being financially stable enough to raise my baby girl. We are trying to get it together but I feel like I’m trying harder than he is. Of course, naturally, I wanna be able to provide any and everything that my baby needs. My boyfriend feels the same way but he is being oblivious to the fact that she will be here in no time. He keeps saying we’ve got time…but time is slowly running out. At times, I get really frustrated with him for not understanding but I can’t stress myself out.
Any way…I’m am just really excited about motherhood and just holding my little girl in my arms.
I’m 18, and around two weeks ago, I discovered that I’m pregnant. After taking a first test which showed negative, around two weeks before.
After going to the doctor and talking with him, I was told that I am 8 weeks pregnant, it’ll be 9 now.
I knew that I was pregnant, before taking the tests. Two years ago, I ended up pregnant after a condom split with my ex,(same symptoms) we always use protection. I was scared and didn’t know what to do, so me being me, reached out for alcohol and drugs, and ended up having a miscarriage. It was the most difficult time of my life, I was in turmoil about everything, why did this happen to me? And knowing that it was possibly my fault tore me apart. I separated myself away from everyone, becoming in a sense a very empty shell. To make matters worse, shortly after the miscarriage, my ex ended up in hospital after a suicide attempt. Everything drove a wedge between us, we hated each other but couldn’t leave, after a few months i hated him so much i didn’t care if i never saw him again, i need him out of my life, so I walked away. I believe that everything happens for a reason, and that this was a message to me, something to learn from, my baby left, but for a reason.
Even though this is my second pregnancy, in my heart it is my first. I didn’t love my first baby, although I mourned it, and losing it affected me greatly, but I think that’s natural.
I need some help. I’ve made an appointment to have an abortion. My boyfriend is 22 and we’ve been together for just over 6 months. At first he was great, he told me he’d support me no matter what I decide to do, but he had made up his mind that abortion would be the best option for us. Neither of us have jobs, although I’m in my last year of 6th form, and we are too young. The thing is that I don’t agree with abortion. Yes, I think its a woman’s right to chose but I’ve never considered it an option that I would chose. Yes, I have given it a thought, I would be silly not to, but I came to my decision, and that was to keep my baby, or put it up for adoption, anything. I just want to keep it alive. I told my boyfriend this, and so much for being supportive. He said that he hadn’t put pressure on me thinking that I’d come to the ‘right’ decision, his. Trying not to lose it, and not feeling able to argue or to stick up for myself, I agreed with him that ‘I cant keep it and I have no choice’. That night, my parents wanted to know my choice. All I managed to say through floods of tears is I’ll get rid of it. Two day later, my mum booked me an appointment at the clinic to see a nurse and when I’m there, I’ll find out when I’ll have the surgery.
I need advice on what to do. Every time I think about the fact that I’m having an abortion, I cry, which makes me think that I don’t want one. I know I don’t want one. I’m so scared to tell my parents that I’ve changed my mind. I want to keep my baby, but I don’t want to ruin my life, but on the other hand, not many women regret having a child. Maybe the timing is wrong, they miss out on things, but they don’t wish their child dead. Also the lesson I learned from the miscarriage was that every life is precious. No matter how long it lasts, it has an impact on people, after going through that I don’t think I can live with myself knowing that its happened again but by my choice, and this time, I love my baby.
Maybe the miscarriage happened to let me know that I should care for my baby, and it happened to let me know that abortion most definitely not for me.
I need some advice.
Thanks x
I don’t think I will ever forget the 7th April. The awkward drive to the clinic, the cold room, the nurse with the sad face. My boyfriend took me to the clinic. We decided together that I should have an abortion. I was 7 weeks pregnant at the time. I was 19, busy studying to be a chef. He was 22. I loved him so much, we even lived together. I believed that it was the best option at the time for both of us.
The day I found out I was pregnant, I sat in the bathroom crying. My boyfriend came in and I showed him the pregnancy test. It was one of those moments where all seems unreal at the time.
The abortion itself was terrible. Firstly you get 2 pills, the 2 days later you take 4 more pills. That’s when the pain starts. Cramps, nausea, fever, bleeding, not being able to eat, not to mention the guilt. I stayed in bed for 8 days, not seeing anyone but my boyfriend.
When I went back to the clinic for my check-up and found out I was no longer pregnant, I was so relieved and forgot about the abortion. It took about 2 days to come back, the guilt, constant crying, sleepless nights…
I am not with my boyfriend anymore, I sometimes believe it is because we never spoke about the abortion afterwards and maybe I was blaming him for some of my pain. What I also never told him is that deep inside me, I wanted the baby. I even got her a name, imagined how she would look, etc.
I have only told 2 close friends about my abortion, not even my parents. Sometimes I want to tell my mom or my sister, but I just can’t. It also seems weird to talk to my friends about it.
I would love to hear from some of you on how to handle these feelings.
Love *
I’m 24 years old and have been hanging around SUG for quite some time. You see, when I was just a kid, I started making mistakes in my life. By the time I was 12, I had a serious, much older, very abusive boyfriend and I’ll admit that yes, I was having sex at that age. It, of course, didn’t take long for me to get pregnant after that. I have had multiple abortions, multiple miscarriages, a preemie who became an angel, and four beautiful children. I’ve been pregnant multiple times in a single year and it didn’t seem to matter what I did to prevent it, it kept happening.
Now I know I seem pretty stupid and promiscuous, and perhaps I once was.
When I was 15, I met the love of my life. I admit that we still weren’t smart at this point in our lives. When we were 16 and 17, our oldest son Liam was born. A beautiful, bright little boy. Following soon after was Aidan at 18 years old, Makenzie at 21 years old and Cole just this past year at 24 years old. We got married and have become fantastic parents to our children. We attend church on a regular basis and have friends and family who love us and our children. While I was pregnant with Cole, we agreed that our family felt complete (as well, my body can’t handle any more pregnancies), and my husband had a vasectomy done to help prevent any more unplanned babies.
From the outside, our lives seemed pretty good. We have a house, two cars, we both have careers, we are settled in our lives. But inside, we were both still torn up over our many mistakes. The biggest things that loomed in our minds were the abortions that we had chosen to have and the day that we made the decision to let our little girl die. We had regrets about having sex so early in our lives, me about the number of partners I have had, both of us over many things, things that could no longer be changed.
This past Sunday, we attended church as usual, only the message seemed to hit harder and a little closer to home. Forgiveness was the theme… not about asking for it. It seems that we have asked over and over, and still not felt forgiven. But the message was on accepting that forgiveness which was asked for. Suddenly, I realised that I had asked God repeatedly to forgive me for my past mistakes, mistakes that were still haunting my daily life, affecting every thought, every decision, I made. I had been torturing myself, feeling as though I would NEVER be forgiven, I could NEVER do enough to make up for my decisions in life. I had screwed up and couldn’t make things right.
What I didn’t realise is that once I asked for forgiveness, it was given to me. All that I needed to do was to accept that forgiveness. The ball was in my court, and I couldn’t see it. Finally, I feel free. I spent an afternoon this week reading the Bible and praying, talking, and letting go. I have now accepted His forgiveness and I couldn’t feel more free. Yes, I still have my past, it will never be wiped clear away from me, but now I know that it doesn’t matter what I did, just that I have been forgiven. My husband and I have talked and he has done something similar to me, and we both have forgiven each other for our mistakes. I believe that this simple experience has not only made us stronger as individuals, but as a couple, and as a family.
It’s funny that as a person, it is so easy to ask for a gift and then forget to accept it… but that’s what happened with us.
Now, it’s time to let go and live our lives to the fullest. We will never forget, but we are now comfortable in that we are forgiven, we are no longer chained by guilt and regret for things which cannot be changed.
