I’m 19 and I have a beautiful 4-month-old baby and I have found out that I am pregnant again and I’m already 11 1/2 weeks.
My bf at first did not want our first child due to our futures and I made the decision to keep her. She is both of our worlds =] our everything. Well anyways, I went to the ER the other day for having pains and ended up getting An ultrasound and seeing the baby moving and everything. My bf wants me to get an abortion and there’s no other option in his eyes. I told him ok but deep down, I don’t want to do it and regret it… I’ve seen the heartbeat and I feel like I’ll be a murderer if I follow through. The hardest is I have a 4-month-old baby girl that I’m doin all I can to support her and don’t know if I can support another baby.
I don’t know what to do. =..[
For the past week, I’ve been constantly worrying if I’ve gotten pregnant.
My last period was less than 3 days and extremely light, and I haven’t started this month yet and it’s been 2 days. I’m fairly regular. I’m on birth control, and my boyfriend and I don’t use condoms because I have never had problems with the pill before now. I’ll be turning 17 in 16 days, and I’m scared out of my mind at the thought of raising a child at this age. My boyfriend is scared too, and has voiced that he isn’t ready to raise a child. He’s 19. But there is this part of me, that when I think about having a baby, I get excited and happy. I know if I am pregnant, I would never get an abortion. But I don’t think adoption is an option for me, either… I know that having a child is life-changing – I’ll have less free time, I’ll have to grow up a lot faster than I normally would, I’d have tenfold the responsibilities. But the thought of carrying a child in my womb for 9 months, 9 months! I would instantly bond, I have that extremely strong maternal instinct. Giving up a baby would just shoot me straight back into the depression I have worked so hard in my life to overcome. Along with that, if I was stupid enough to get myself into this situation, I believe that I need to take responsibility for my actions, even if it means giving up on a lot. I hate to admit it, but the thought of having a child, even at this age, makes me incredibly happy.
But I’m torn – if I am pregnant, should I keep the baby and take responsibility for my irresponsibility, risking my boyfriend and I’s relationship? Or do I give the baby up for adoption, giving him or her a chance at a wonderful life, risking my own happiness?
I’m 16, had sex the day after I stopped bleeding, and now the blood tests say yes…….. I don’t know what we’re gonna do about how to support our baby, but abortion is OUT OF THE QUESTION…… Btw, this was found out at 10 this morning… Morning sickness has been horrible, I throw up at a moment’s notice, my boobs hurt if you look at them wrong, have not told any parents, only mentioned it to my best friend and my stepcousin…
I’m not sure what to do, too early for boy/girl, have Serenity Alora for a girl… no clue about boy names, pls any advice/names would be adored
I got a phone call today from my cousin’s mom, she wanted to ask me about my past…particularly the past that involved my uncle living with us.
Her daughter has made allegations that he has done some inappropriate things and she had heard that there was a suspicion that he had done similar things to me… I have a faint memory of sitting in the bathroom sink, being given a bath by him. He and his friend were laughing and pointing at me and I felt so dirty and like something was not right… There were other things like noticing him watch me get dressed when I got a little older and I hated it when he tickled me, it just never felt comfortable… I have always had the thought and feeling in my subconscious that he had done something to me and I had always just known he had done it to my siblings too. I called my sister and asked her for the first time ever about what happened. We have NEVER talked about it but it was always an unspoken thing that we just knew… She confirmed it… He had done things to all of us… She had even told my parents when they were still together. She just remembered that my uncle no longer lived with us, yet years after my mom had left, my uncle lived with us again and was our main live-in baby sitter.
How could my dad, knowing what he did to us let him move in, rent free and watch us alone…? I am so numb and in shock right now. I have always felt and suspected the things that I now know happened, but to know it and not just think it makes me sick… If my parents had done the right thing, my cousin wouldn’t be going through what she is now. How many others are there? I forgive him for what he has done but it still breaks my heart that my childhood was so robbed and unprotected. I have been so self conscious of my body, I have always felt like I am not good enough, I have always felt like damaged goods. My husband has really helped me heal from other parts of my past that I was for sure about but now this, I am 27 and I now have to confront this issue in my mind and in my heart, it is raw and fresh like it all happened yesterday, that violating feeling, that abandoned and neglected feeling, that shattered, scared, lonely little girl who was not protected in her own home….
I can hardly get a tear out but I feel so sad and alone…….
I know that my story is different from many that you will see here, but I hope that it can help. I too want to share my story so that you ladies out there know you aren’t alone. My husband and I had tried for several years to get pregnant, going through the beginnings of fertility treatments. We so much wanted a child. We both cried when we found out that I was pregnant. We were all set to welcome our little girl Nadia Joy into our family this coming August, but the Lord had a different plan for us. I wrote the following about 18 hours after giving birth. This is our story…
This, like many pregnancies, came with its own set of trials. Early on, I had been spotting and we thought we might lose our baby then. With lots of prayer, we got our miracle and by 20 weeks, our precious little girl was perfect and perfectly healthy. We were looking forward to another 20 weeks of a healthy pregnancy. I had to have another ultrasound at 24 weeks because she wouldn’t show her face, and the dr. needed to see it to know if she had any special needs that might come up at birth. So, all was normal and fine until then.
At the 24 week, her heartbeat had slowed dangerously low. It hovered between 60 and 70 beats per minute, when it should have been twice that. It also stopped at one point during the ultrasound. There were many things that could be wrong, but we needed to do some blood work on me and see a specialist in the morning. I went home with the knowledge that our best bet was to make it another week at least until she was just old enough to live outside the womb. She needed to make it to 25 weeks to even have a chance of living. There was a lot of prayer for healing, and preparing for the worst.
When we got to the specialist on the morning of the 24th, they started another ultrasound. Having had five with this pregnancy, I’ve gotten pretty good at knowing what to look for. There was no heartbeat. The tech was silent, and I did have to ask to make sure, but our sweet little girl was gone. We both had a chance to cry and absorb the initial shock. My husband’s parents had come, as had my mom, who had been with me the previous day. They came back and we all sat and cried while we waited for the doctor to come in. We talked about our options, and I decided to be induced right away, instead of waiting another few hours.
I went to the hospital and was admitted around 10:45am. They started the induction at 11:45 am. They had no idea how long it would take before she was born, but it could be later that night, or as late as Sunday. Only time would tell. We were gearing up for a long, grief filled process.
At 1:12 am, April 25, our precious Nadia Joy was born. She had already been home with the Lord for probably a day. She was perfectly formed. She even had lines in her footprints already! She had blonde hair that you couldn’t really see much of, but it was there. She even had eyelashes! She was 1 lb. , 4 oz, and 12.5 inches long. We had family and close friends there with us to meet Nadia and hold her. We were very fortunate to get to hold her and see her so perfect.
Ok, so those are the facts.
The rest of the story is the spiritual one. We are so blessed. We had so many people praying for us and with us. As hard as this is, God has given both my husband and I so much peace. I know that’s what many people were praying for, and God truly does answer prayers. For me personally, this whole thing has been such a blessing. I got pregnant when the Drs thought I couldn’t. We had a pregnancy that lasted longer than we thought it was going to at first. I got the experience of feeling my baby move and react to sounds, I’ve now been through labor, though I’m sure it will be different next time around, and I got to hold my little girl. Justin got to see her grow in me, he got to feel her kick, and he got to hold his daughter. Both my husband and I are definitely grieving, and there are times that will be harder than others, but we both have peace that only God can give. We don’t have any anger about the situation, just frustration about not understanding. I can speak for both of us when I say that we don’t understand God’s will and His choices, but we accept it fully. I can’t even begin to express all of the peace and understanding and faith that I have seen in the past 36 hours. We now have an amazing testimony to the power of God’s peace and the ways that he uses us. We have already seen some of the ripples and changes that have been made in attitudes and actions because of this. I’m sure God will use this to change many lives that I won’t ever know about. I have complete confidence and trust in my Lord and what He does, regardless of my understanding or lack there of.
One thing I realized this morning after coming home without our girl was something about how God must feel about His children. I was crying, and telling my husband that I just didn’t understand how I could love someone so much in so short a time, and know so much about them without them knowing me. I realized that God feels that way about us. He makes us His perfect creation, designed to love Him and have a relationship with Him. He waits expectantly for us to know Him, to be born again, and for us to spend our whole lives learning about Him and who He is as our Father. When we refuse to have that relationship with Him, and refuse Him in our lives, it’s like the stillborn child. Perfect in every way, created to love and be loved, and to spend a lifetime getting to know the ones who bore us. They just never make it that far. They are still loved, still wanted, and there are still hopes and dreams that we have for our children, and that God has for us, that will never have the chance to be fulfilled.
I am so grateful to have such a wonderful family and such wonderful friends who have stood with us through this, and will continue to. I am also so thankful for our family who understands that this is the loss of a child, not a pregnancy. She has a name, a birth date, she is an individual. She is still one of the grandchildren, or great grandchildren, the others will just never have the opportunity to play with her. She will always be our firstborn, and she will always have a place in the family. I’m so grateful that the family shares this idea with us, and that they were there with us to hold her and mourn with us. It’s an experience that has touched so many lives already, and I’m sure it will touch more. My prayer now is that God will use me to further His kingdom by my being able to point to all that He’s done though me.
I am so blessed to be thought of highly enough by my Lord to be used by Him to carry His little girl. That thought I may not have had her for long, He let us share in a life that was too special for this realm. I’m so thankful that my girl didn’t have pain, and that she didn’t have to ever experience the pain of this world. I know I will see her when I go Home, and until then she is well. As a friends child said, “Oh good! God loves playing with babies!” God loves playing with babies, and who could take better care of mine than the one who created her.
