I’m so happy. I’m 9 weeks pregnant. Can’t wait to hold my baby in my arms.
I haven’t told my parents yet, I’m scared. But my boyfriend, he is very supportive. Currently studying at university, this is my last year so I’m planning to tell them after my exams. I know they will be disappointed, but at least I have achieved one thing. I know my mom will handle the news well. I’m more worried about my dad, but when the time comes, they will accept. I sometimes feel the pressure that I’m lying to them coz clearly, my mom will feel a bit betrayed that I as her daughter don’t trust her enough.
I feel that if I tell her, I will feel relieved and stop stressing coz I can’t sleep at night the more the days go on and on. It becomes too much.
Ok, where do I start? How do I put into words the feeling? How do I sum up the worst day of my life on a blog?
I’m not sure if the answer I have…….. I was so happy and everything was going so well, and then it all changed, and what hurts is it wasn’t a quick change. It was a slow and painful change.
I was about 9 weeks and my boyfriend started to have his 2nd episode of psychosis and it was hard. He wouldn’t come near me. He would abuse me and wrestle me to the ground to get the car keys off me so he could try and kill himself… It was hard. I know he didn’t know what he was doing and he is sorry for it now… Whilst all that was going on, my older sister was being horrible and so was her boyfriend… I lived with my mum and there were too many people in the house… There was my mum, her boyfriend, me, my boyfriend, my little sister, my older sister, and her boyfriend all in a 3-bedroom home… It was too much…. On the 20th of August, early in the morning, about a week into A’s troubles and years of dealing with a drug addict sister, I woke up in terrible pain and I didn’t know what to do. So I rung up my friend and she took me straight to the hospital and they did an ultrasound and said they couldn’t find a heartbeat…. I don’t think I have ever felt a feeling of hurt that bad. I burst into tears. I got so hysterical the doctors had to sedate me… I don’t remember much as I was in and out of sleep and crying… It was all a big blur… I spoke to the doctors the next day and they asked me what was going on and everything and I told them all about my troubles and they said I must have miscarried due to stress….. I felt like a failure, like it was my fault, that I had let all of these bad things get to me and that I had killed my baby…. It has taken me a little while to pluck up the courage to write this blog, but it’s making me feel a little bit better just letting it all out…
I only recently took another pregnancy test and it came as a faint positive so I’m going to get that checked out…..
But understand I am NOT trying to replace my baby… I will NEVER forget my baby. All I am trying to do is have a family with the one I love and it’s been very hard but I know I can get through all of the smokey haze, that is bad things, and see the little ray of sunshine that is my future……
R.I.P my little angel….. God gave you wings before I got to give you a cuddle….. We will meet up in heaven xxxxxx
Well, I feel it’s time to take off what I had written on the front page of my blog… It’s been hard, but I know that my little angel would want me to try and move on… This is what I had written………….
Well, I just found out 2 days ago that I’m PREGNANT!! And today the 4/7 (I’m in Australia so it looks different to some lol), I am 4 weeks pregnant. I’m sooooo excited. I can’t wait to meet my little one… I want the next 36 weeks to hurry up and come lol
I haven’t been on here in a while… I lost my baby on the 20th of August…. I was nearly 11 weeks… It has been really hard and I’m still trying to heal… I will always love my little angel and we will meet in heaven. It is a long story as to what happened and I’m not ready yet to say it all.
R.I.P my little baby. Mummy and daddy love you very, very much xxxx…………. It’s really hard for me to read the first part because I remember writing it so vividly and the feelings I was feeling then.
I am going to try and move on, but I will NEVER forget my baby.
IM PREGNANT AND AS HAPPY AS I CAN BE
I’m having a beautiful baby boy! Braxton is due March 2 and I just can’t wait. I love my baby boy more than anything, and I don’t even know him. Him and his daddy are the loves of my life. (:
I’m a 14-year-old freshman who had so much planned for life.
I was captain of the cheerleading squad, student president, and also on the student council. Becoming pregnant at 14 was not in my plan. My parents and I have been working on this plan since I was ten years old. I have always gotten straight A’s, aced every test, and also had a job. I was the girl everyone wanted to be. But now, my life has been turned upside down and has thrown something at me I never thought I’d be facing. Teen pregnancy. I gave up something I love, cheerleading. I’ve been doing it since I was 7 years old.
But I gave it for the new love of my life. My daughter, Ellianna.
