I’m not sure how to start off. I guess I’ll start like this…

Dec 31 was a day that changed my life forever. I was 13 and I got pregnant. When my family found out, they flipped out. They all wanted me to get an abortion, including the father of my child. His mom and dad wanted me to keep the baby and I so made the choice to keep the baby. I found out I was having a little girl at 19 weeks. I was so excited and ready to be a mommy. I choose the name Heather Ann Jordan. She was gonna be named after my sister who had died and her middle name was the father’s grandmother’s middle name. I thought it was perfect. Day by day went by and I got more excited every day and every day my family disowned me a little more. When I was 8 months along, I had to be rushed to the hospital. Something went wrong and Heather died. :'( I had to give birth to a dead baby girl.

When I gave birth to her, they asked me if I wanted to hold her. If I wanted pics of her and what I wanted to do with her body. Of course, I wanted to hold her so I said yes. I held her and cried and cried. I just prayed to God, “Just let this be a bad dream. Let her be OK.” But I never woke up from this bad dream. In the end, my family and her father all got what they wanted except me. I didn’t get my baby girl. I felt so lost I cried for months. I still cry till this day about what happened to my baby girl. I have an angel up there and every day, I just want to end my life and be with her, but I don’t. I pray every day and talk to her. Now I’m with a steady guy and we’re engaged. He’s amazing and we’re in love. He went through the same thing. He was having a baby girl. Her name was gonna be Evilin. Something went wrong with her and she died. Evilin’s mom was 8 months pregnant turns out we were the exact same weeks along when we lost our baby girls.

I just found out I’m 5 weeks along.  My fiancé and I are so happy. We’re not telling anyone until I start to show so they can’t do anything about it. We both still miss our daughters and still both cry but we know they are all taken care of up in heaven

<3 R.I.P Heather Ann Jordan and Evilin Marisa Eastman. Our angels!