So i was seventeen when i found out i was pregnant, for some, that can be the most exciting news, but more then likely if your young and the pregnancy is DEFINITELY unplanned, then that sort of news can crush you. i had big plans for myself, i was senior at a christian high school, i was gonna go to college….there was no way i could have a baby. At first i thought maybe i was freaking out and nothing was wrong, i decided to go to a certain pregnancy outreach center, and they informed that i was infact very much pregnant. i remember telling the woman that gave me the news i couldnt have a baby, i was too young that the only choice for me was abortion. The counselor informed of horrible facts and TRUTHS about abortion and the effects, at the time i didnt believe her, the only choice in my head was abortion. In the state i live in you have to be 18 to have this procedure done, or a parents consent, well not wanting to tell my parents was one of the biggest reasons for wanting the abortion…So i went to YET another clinic(which is in no way an outreach center) they told me i could go to court and have a judiciary bypass, where you appear in court and prove to the judge you are old enough to make this decision without your parents consent. I look back on this now and can not even believe that someone has made this legal, there are so many things that can go wrong! At this time i think i was probably a month along and they told me i had to do it before my third month. Deep down i know that i really dont want abortion but keep telling myself that its the right thing to do. I finally scheduled the appointment, the night before i was to have procedure, i couldnt sleep. i found myself praying, and i mean crying out to God for some sort of help. The car ride to the clinic was by far the longest trip i had ever made, walking into the clinic i felt like dirt, actually i cant explain the feeling, i hope i never feel that way again. I filled out my paper work, paid the money that was due and sat in the waiting room. A nurse called my name, we got back in a room and she told me she had to do an ultrasound to see if everything would be okay for the procedure, and i will NEVER forget what happened next. The woman looked at the screen and for less then a second i saw her smile, i thought how can this woman smile at a child she is about to kill? I got up and told her i couldnt do it, i left that place knowing what i was about to go through would be the hardest thing i had ever faced. And it was very hard and scary, but on may 5th, 2005 i gave birth to a BEAUTIFUL daughter…. I thank God everytime i see her running to me that he gave me the courage to be strong:)
If My Contraceptive Fails
Dear Jewel, Back in the 80s when I was in...