I was 19 when I found out I was pregnant. I had been raped by my boss and I did not have a boyfriend or otherwise at the time. I didn’t have very many close friends to talk to. I was very alone. I was also living by myself at the time. When I the doctor told me that I had tested positive…
Dear Becky — I was 19 when I found out I was pregnant. I had been raped by my boss and I did not have a boyfriend or otherwise at the time. I didn’t have very many close friends to talk to. I was very alone. I was also living by myself at the time. When I the doctor told me that I had tested positive, I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. I knew that I should be upset, but I was so happy. I loved that baby immediately and definitely not b/c of who the "father" was. I was scared though, very scared.
When I told my mom, she was so happy, something I did not expect. This gave me hope that I could make it, but I wasn’t sure how I would. She still however, does not know to this day that I had been raped. Neither does most of my family. I didn’t want to burden them with that. My friends know now, but I just couldn’t tell anyone I had been raped. I was too scared that the man who had done this to me would come after me if I told anyone. He had threatened me, threw knives at my head and he knew where I lived.
My dad suggested an abortion, but he didn’t push me. I now have a beautiful 3 yr old girl and I have NEVER regretted my descision. I prayed and prayed that she would not look like "him" and God answered that prayer. I think it might have been harder if being reminded of his face evryday.
Today, I have a wonderful husband as well, who has not only accepted what happened, but has taken my precious girl and accepted her as his own. I am now expecting my second baby and I am so filled with joy. I have a beautiful family and my only regret is not having the courage to have that man put behind bars. I think your site is wonderful. I know there are women and girls out there who would never have an abortion save the possibility of rape and I wanted others to know it is possible to love a baby even one born out of those circumstances. It just takes the realization that the baby can’t help who their "father" is just as much as the mother can’t help the fact that she was raped.
Your story is a powerful one. You are such a witness to the fact that goodness and beauty can be brought out of even the most horrible situation. Sometimes we find ourselves surrounded in darkness, and it is so incredibly hard to see even a pinprick of light in the path that lies ahead. It is then that we feel like we can’t go on…we start to despair. You have shown us that there is hope…we just need to keep on that path and do what we know to be right and good. You were able to look beyond yourself and embrace your child as a gift…even though she was conceived by rape. I find that so amazing and so beautiful! What a gift you are to this world! May God bless you and your family!
Becky | firstname.lastname@example.org