StandUpGirl - With Baby

Dear Becky,
I came across your site quite by accident. Your video captured my interest and I read a few of the stories. I can relate to many of the issues these girls are talking about.

My life was great. I was attending an Ivy League college, had a wonderful fiance, Joe, and a supportive family. Then I found out I was pregnant. I was 19. Instinctively I had known long before that I was pregnant but was naive in thinking that if I ignored it, then it would disappear. Well it didn’t.

Joe looked at the pregnancy test first. I remember he asked me what two blue lines meant. I just started to cry. I knew that my life would change in so many ways that I hadn’t expected to experience for several years. But through my worrisome tears I had the calming feeling that everything would be okay in the end.

I took a second pregnancy test at the hospital just to be sure. It was positive. As soon as the doctor told us the results, Joe immediately requested for me to have an abortion. He even went as far as to ask the doctor when an appointment could be scheduled. He, of course, wanted it to be taken care of as soon as possible before anyone knew. I was devastated that the same person whom I had planned to marry in a few months was so adamant about, as he phrased it, “killing it”. Needless to say, he was kicked to the curb in no time.

Now, not only was I pregnant, I was also alone. I told my parents that I as going to be having a baby. There was an uneasy silence as they digested the news. Then, my father looked at me and said, “Well, it will be nice having a baby around the house again.” At that very moment, I knew that my baby and I would be just fine.

My son, Matthew Dylan, just turned two in December. He is the love of my life and the most powerful motivation for me to succeed in life. I will shortly be finishing my degree in Speech Pathology and have purchased land on which to build a home.

I do a lot of things that people my age don’t even know exist. My son and I are involved in play groups, Mother Goose Time, a local library program and Kindermusik, a musical program for young children. My saturday nights are spent playing in the sandbox or reading “Bear Snores On”. I even started my own registered child care program in order to stay home with my son and to be sure that he was being exposed to the best developmental and educational activities. I could not be happier.

Having my son was the most rewarding experience of my life and I know that there are many others out there that feel the same way I do about their children. I know that sometimes people look down on young, single mothers as if they were completely incapable of caring for a child. The fact is, a good mother can a be a woman of any age. Age is closely associated with maturity but that doesn’t mean that it defines it.

To all the other girls out there that are pregnant and confused; there is a miracle happening inside you right at this moment. Imagine looking into the eyes of your newborn child for the first time and feeling the warmth of his little body against yours. Please do not deny your self that experience.


Melissa |

Dear Melissa,

Thank you for your letter. The fear that I would be rejected by my parents when they found out I was pregnant was just so paralyzing for me. Wasn’t it just such a relief for you to finally tell your parents? I think that was one of the most frightening things I’ve ever had to do in my life! Once they knew, and I knew I had their support, things got a lot easier for me. I felt much more free and able to carry on and do what I needed to do.

I think it’s so awesome to hear how you’ve gone on to finish your education, and how your son has been such a motivation for you to succeed in life. I’ve heard that from many other girls, too. Having my baby has enriched my life so much. I have learned so many things about myself and about life….things that I don’t think I would have learned otherwise.

The love that a mother has for her child is indescribable. I am so thankful to be able to experience the gift of motherhood. Yes, it came sooner than I would have planned maybe… but I can’t imagine my life without my beautiful daughter. I don’t have any regrets. She has brought such joy and fulfillment to my life.

I wish you and your son much happiness in your life together!





Contact Becky