Hey there, My name is Meg and I help Becky out on Standupgirl.com, I came across your letter in the inbox and I really wanted to touch base with you, I know you have probably been contacted by now but I can’t stop thinking about your letter. I had a dream last night that there was a girl standing next to me, she was looking at a picture on the table of another pregnant girl who was going to have an abortion, she kept putting her hands on her own tummy questioning herself, she saw me crying and physically upset about this other girl in the picture and she came up and put her hand on my shoulder and said “I am going to tell my parents that I am pregnant and no matter what happens this baby is going to live” I have no idea if that part of my dream was from your email but I can’t stop thinking about it so I decided to write you and follow up to see how you are….I am here for you, I got pregnant right out of highschool, single and confused, you are not alone and if you have no one else in the world just know that I will be here to support you and help you along…please write me back to let me know you got this letter and to share how you are doing….untill then, much love….meg
Friday, January 29,
Have you come closer to a decision? I mean abortion is permanent, babies grow up and become easier to care for….I just want you to know I am here for you….Love Meg
Monday, February 8,
hey, im doing okay, my appointment is on tuesday, and im extremly nervous and scared. thank you for checking up on me
Have you thought about canceling your appt? What is the one thing that makes you want an abortion and the one thing that makes you hesitate? What are you most nervous about? Love Meg
Wednesday, Febuary 10,
i’m not going to cancel my appointment, im not ready for a responsibility like having a child. the only thing that im nervous about is that i know that i will regret it in the future. and i feel really bad about not giving the little baby inside me a chance to live. but i guess im choosing to be selfish, and its the right decision right now.
I am so sorry for what you are going through right now, you know I jsut recently talked with another girl in your same shoes, she didn’t cancel her appt either, it took about 3 weeks before she hit rock bottom and now she is so desperate to have her baby back, they always say that hind sight is 20/20 and that once you look back, all the fears have an answer…honey, if you know that you will regret it, why do you want to go through with it? The thing that is really hard through an email is that you cannot hear my voice, picture the two of us sitting next to each other on a soft couch in a warm room, there is a candle burning and we both have a cup of tea or cocoa, my voice is soft and gentle and I am talking with you not at you….I am next to you, not standing over you, I reach over and place my hand firmly on yours and look you in the eye with love and gentleness and understanding, with that said I want to tell you again that this does not have to be your way out…don’t ignore that little voice saying let me live, give me a chance, please mommy Stand Up…there is a reason you wrote a letter, you wanted to have your fears and your hesitation confirmed, I am here as your scape goat, I am that one person who will tell you that it is ok to keep your baby or place him/her with another family but you know that ending the life of this baby, your baby is not the answer…abortion is a self destructive action, it is a temporary “fix” but it is going to come back and bite you so hard and I don’t want you to have to carry that burden on your shoulders for the rest of your life the way my other new friend now has to….if she were writing you right now she would say, please listen to Meg, I didn’t, give your child the chance that I did not, the chance to smile, laugh, enjoy the warmth of sunshine, the taste and sensation of eating ice cream…I am here for you step by step just please consider what I have to share with you and do not ignore that plea coming from within you….Love Meg
Wednesday, February 17
hi, im katya, and i have emailed you before. about 3 weeks ago. telling you that i was pregnant and thinking about an abortion. i was going through such a hard time trying to figure out if its what i really wanted to do. i cried every night, thinking about having to kill the baby that is in my tummy, connected to me, through blood. my own child.i had my abortion yesterday. the day after my 18th birthday. i started crying when they were doing the proceedure. i am so heart broken. i knew i would regret it, but i didnt know it would be this hard. and i didnt know that i would ever want her back in my tummy. i came out of the hospital room, my boyfriend and his mom were sitting there, waiting for me. and i acted like everything was fine, like i was happy with the decision i made. im still putting on a smiling face everytime im around them, because for the past month and a half they have been telling me that if i wanted to change my mind, keep my baby, they would be behind me 100%. i though i was making the right choice, for me, and my life. but i really think i made the wrong decision, and its killing me, knowing im going to having to live with it for the rest of my life. i want her back
Oh Sweetie, I am so sorry….I wish I could be there with you to give you my shoulder to cry on….sometimes we are so blinded by fear when we come to making a decision that no one has the right words to reach us and it is only after making a wrong choice that we are able to see that it was the wrong one, sometimes it can be reversed but with the issue of abortion it is permanent and I am grieving for you that it is irreversible….you need to know that you have every right to grieve and feel remorse, just because it was your choice and your decision does not mean that you have to wear a happy face for everyone…after my husband and I were married I was really upset one night, I threw something and it hit one of our wedding gifts and it broke…I made a bad choice, I did the wrong thing, I felt stupid, I could not take it back and even with superglue that gift will never be whole again….I felt like I had no right to be upset about it being broken because after all it was my fault, I know for you the situation is so much more serious, important and costly then what I lost/broke but I want you to know that I understand what it feels like to make wrong choices and have to live with the consequences while feeling trapped like you have no right to grieve or be upset….if you feel like crying, please do so, I will never despise your tears, if you feel like screaming, go outside by yourself or let it out in your pillow or when no one else is home, don’t hold it in, if you are having a good day, do not feel ashamed to smile….grief is a crazy process you may feel a wave of different emotions all throughout the day, may I ask a question? Do you live in the USA? If so here is a number that you can call for FREE and CONFIDENTIAL counseling….1-800-395-HELP, they can give you the info to contact a local Pregnancy Resource Center to you and there are women who volunteer there who have had abortions and they help with counseling….it may be a good start for you, I am here as well, every step of the way, I need you to know that I care and if I were there beside you right now I would wrap my arms around you and hold you as long as you let me…..I would cry with you and be an ear for you to talk to, I would respect your silence and I would open my heart to you and let you know that you are not alone in this battle, I have not aborted but I have been through so much garbage and I have lived with many bad choices I have made….I hope to hear back from you soon, let me be a help, let me walk this rough road with you, you do not have to hurt or suffer alone sweetie!!
Love, Meg
English
Spanish
Hebrew
French
German
Hindi
Italian
Swedish
Greek
Hawaiian
Portuguese
Irish
Latin
Czech
Polish
Norwegian
Finnish
Dutch
Welsh
Korean
Thai
Indonesian
Japanese
Vietnamese
Filipino
Chinese (Simplified)
Haitian Creole
Bosnian
Lithuanian
Arabic
Yiddish
Sweety, I am your age, and i recently went through the same thing. What I want you to do is simply breath. I know you are thinking to yourself that you didnt make the right choice, and that you wish you could go back in time.. I know the feeling all to well. When i came out from having it done, i too acted like i was fine, that it was 100% what i wanted to do. After a few days it really got to me.. I couldnt stop thinking about it.. I felt horrible. But listen.. please listen, at the time, you thought it was the best thing for you, you felt like it was your only option, i know i did.. so dont beat yourself up.. You did what you though was right at that point in time. Your baby is safe sweetheart, your baby is with my baby, safe and happy. Please dont get down on yourself anymore, your baby loves you very much, and you need to breath and not say “what if” anymore.. ok? You are going to be fine.. i promise you.. it heals with time. If you need to talk some more, im here for you anytime ok? i know what your going through.
i know exactly how you feel. when i was having my abortion they said “are you sure you want to do this you cant keep moving or we cant”. it will be a year in a bout a month and im still now over it. i hope you can pull through.
I have never talked to anyone about it till today.
I was very afraid of what people will think, how will my mother react, will I be able to handle a child when am not working.
Its been about a month and few weeks now, and evry time I think about it but ignores it and dont dwell that much into letting my emotions go.
I have done it also the 'abortion' and now I regret it like hell.
I hope that I can one day be ok with it like be able to accept and move on n life.
Right now am having another thought of doing it cos I think dat I am pregnant again, and the thing is I dont know if am ready to loose a second child, but hte very same fears dat pushed me into doing the 1st one are still with me and my boyfriend does not know about he first one but last time he said he would not mind having a child with me.
He is working, but I feel like he is not yet ready to have a child, actually we are not.
Am trying to pursue my career but I dont know what to do.
I understand exactly how you feel. I think if I would have had a super close relationship with my mother and felt secure that I would have had my parents love and support I would have kept my baby. Being pregnant to them was such a failure…They wanted college and careers for me. I have a daughter now she is 12 and we watch those shows on MTV about Teen Pregnancy and all of that. I always am sure to tell her there is nothing in the world that she can't come to me about. If she ever would be in a predicament like that I would help her and she should never consider abortion. We should all have this type of support. I wish I would have. Now I carry this saddness with me and you hope you get over it but you never do. Here I am years later having nightmares. I look at my kids sitting at the kitchen table and feel someone is missing…That feeling will never go away…I envision my baby growing inside of me and cold metal scapel yanking him out.
I know that our society looks down on teenage pregnancy…I am not saying it is the best decision…but it is part of life..pregnancy and birth…not everyone has the ideal situation to finish college, get married and then have a baby.
The love for your child is the strongest emotion that could exist. Stronger than the love for your pet, boyfriend or parents.
Katya- I hope that you go out and get some birth control.They have birth control that can last up to 5 years. If you do get pregnant again which most girls that have an abortion 1 time do…I hope that you keep your baby..You will NEVER regret keeping your baby but if you have an abortion you WILL regret it for the rest of your life.
hey hunni… im your age and im pregnant at the moment and im deciding to get a abortion even though i dont want one.. ive already been crying myself to sleep every night.. knowing that im about to kill this human being in my belly and it will never see the world and it will never grow up… im going to hate myself for it and probably will never get over it but to stop my parents from finding out and hating me i have to do it…
Dear Kea,
Please know that I will pray for you. I am sure that it is tough, but fear is only going to have as much power as you let it have. I will pray for you so that, even if you are afraid, you have the courage to choose life. Talk to counselors – don't be afraid! God is with you!
I will pray for you girl.
Don't go through the pain again – please choose life, Kea!
Teresa:-)
There is a pregnancy help line you can call at this link http://www.prolifewisconsin.org/needHelp.asp
God bless you!
DO you think I would regret that choice? I always said that was not an option for me but My selfish ex makes me feel treible about it. He says he does not want it and to get rid of it. What do I do?
lovelylittleJuliee it is your body and no one can force you to get an abortion.. cause when someone forces you its worse for you to deal with it.. make sure if you want to get rid of it its your choice… my ex wanted me to get an abortion he forced me to go to my appoinment but i turned around and said i couldnt do it he broke up with me the next day but i dont care as long as i still have my baby i dont care…
its your decision and you will make the right choice..
xxx
I have found that it is very important to know what you are doing before you do it. Probably the best website on abortion that I have found is http://www.abortionno.org It can be very difficult to see what abortion really is, and what it does, but if you think it is the route for you, then check this website out before going to the appointment.
Hiyah, i found out i was pregnant last week. And i have my first consultation on monday for an abortion. But i'm am so worried that i'll regret it, and i honestly don't know what to do. I've researched the procedure for abortion, as well as everything else i need to know, but it's not making the right decision any clearer for me! and after reading that, i'm even more stuck in what i should do, have you got any advice? and would you still choose n abortion if you had the chance again? Thank you so much! xxx
i went on that website and the video was horrifying ive decided to keep my baby and watching that made me sick for ages and i couldnt think of doing that to my baby…
i feel you heartfelt i cried in the waiting room and the recover room
hello darling,
i went through exactly what you are going through.
i went through it nearly two years ago.
although i was only 15 years old.
16 when i had the abortion.
i think of my little girl every single day, and now even have her name tattooed on me.
last december i overdosed because it would of been her first birthday,
but that didnt help anything.
you have to stay strong sweetheart, even when you just want to fall and stay there.
because in a few years, things will change. they have for me. and i never believed anyone when they said time will help you heal.
my family has already started, it started two years ago. just my baby is not with me anymore.
i am still with my baby daddy. so i guess thats helped me a bit.
but i know you can do this.
im always here if you want to chat
lots of love,
b x
I can only imagine how you feel.. I'm being forced to make that decision also..I have a very bad heart and my doctor doesn't think me or my baby will survive..I lost a daughter last July due to a cord accident..I was 8 months pregnant.I am struggling with this decision..do i try to make it through or do I end it now…Im sorry for your loss.just know someone out there knows how u feel
This is the best site ever… i wish i knew about this web site before i had my abortion… I knew i would regret it, but i did it to please every one else… and today i live with “self hate”, loads of questions and regret…
The only advice i can give is to take it day by day and to be strong and know that you are never alone…
i am now 17 weeks pregnant and i think back to when i went into my appointment to have my abortion and i cry everytime thinking i could be sitting here with no baby in my tummy and how close he was to not existing.. i feel with great pain in my heart to any young girl going through the hatered they feel towards themselves for having an abortion.. but your day will come where you will become pregnant and it will be the right timing…
thats just a sick thing to do,poor baby,but nevertheless,maybe its for the best….hope you keep ur legs closed next time little girl……
katya,
dont make a decision that your going to have to find a way to live with for the rest of your life based on someone elses opinion. when you tell them your pregnant they either need to accept it or leave them in the dust you want your child keep him or her im sure you will be a great mother trust me i was 17 when i got pregnant with my son i was sworn in the marines and just waiting till september for basic because i had to graduate first i was 17 when i found out i had him sept 30th and im telling you i wouldnt change my decision for a minute!! he looks at me with his brown eyes and smiles he does the darndest things that i would never have seen if i gave him up yes its life changing but i tell you what its well worth it.. my family was so disappointed they wouldnt even talk to me!! but they broke down when he almost died during labor and i had to have an emergency c setion because he went into fetal distress.. if they love you eventually they will accept it!! things you would miss you be the things him/her do for example i got up one morning and my son was sitting waist down in the toilet.. i mean its gross but funny all in one ok trust me when you see that bundle of joy and as him/her get older and they do the funniest things im telling you you will be so happy that you basically told your family to kiss ur bum and and stood up for yourself and your child.. i was afraid i would make nothing of myself.. i make 25 an hour and have good benefits you can do anything you put your mind to and as long as you have someone or something you love more than life its self anything is possible for them!
i'm going through the same thing right now. i'm 6 weeks pregnant and totally torn about what to do. i was adopted and don't want my child to go through that. i'm not ready to have a child yet, but i've always wanted to be a mother. i'm so torn about what to do
Hi I understand exactly where your coming from, the same thing was done for me, and how I wish I still had my baby. I also cry everyday and night my boyfriend is here for me but I wish I had my baby still.