Hi Jewel,

I was 19 years old when I got pregnant. My mom and sister already got their menstrual period so I was thinking maybe I’m just delayed or something. But then again thoughts came to my mind.

We just moved in Canada. Before we left the Philippines I had sex with my boyfriend. I was thinking maybe I’m just so stressed about living in another country, a new home, new environment, everything, that I was late.

I kept fighting the feeling that “maybe I am pregnant”.

Then I searched the symptoms of pregnancy.. and as days passed by.. these symptoms are starting to appear.. I was afraid to go to the doctor because of my negative thoughts.. the doctor might say that “You’re so young and pregnant”.. I was afraid to face the truth and what people with think of me.. 5 months passed and my tummy is getting bigger.. so I’m wondering.. maybe I should  get a pregancy test kit.. so I went to the pharmacy and got one.. I came home and tried it.. in my shock “I AM PREGNANT!”..

Oh my gosh! I didn’t know what to do.. My parents expect a lot from me.. I’m in college.. still adjusting to this new country.. and my family are still adjusting.. We have money problems and we have a lot of problems.. and I called my boyfriend and we thought of abortion..I really don’t want to abort my child.. but thinking of my father hot headedness.. my mother budgeting the expenses.. I’m still in college.. no money.. and my ambitions to have a healthy and wealthy life before I have a child and to be married first before having a child.. This was soo unexpected.. So I searched the net for abortion.. and I found this clinic where they do abortion.. They put me first for counselling.. and you know what.. While I was talking to the counsellor.. I wanted to cry.. but I kept on saying to myself..

“Don’t cry.. Don’t let them see that you’re weak.. that  deep inside of me.. I really don’t want to abort this baby..”.. I am a Catholic.. and in our religion.. an abortion is a big NO!.. never to be done.. so I said to myself while crying.. “This is final! I’m going to abort my baby!”.. but you know what.. every time I’m thinking of abortion.. my baby kept on kicking.. like she wants to say “Mommy please don’t do this!”.. Days and nights have passed.. and still I’m crying inside.. if there is only no choice not to do this abortion.. and guess what! God made a miracle..

I’m 20 weeks pregnant.. and they can’t do abortion in this place! They only do abortion for 19 weeks of pregnancy! Oh thank God!! So I said to myself! I will keep this baby and never ever thought of aborting it again! Whatever happens.. this is my baby.. if my dad can’t accept it.. so what! This is not his baby! It’s mine! It’s made with my own flesh!!

Then months passed and my tummy is getting bigger.. and I wear loose clothes so that they will not notice.. but  my mom noticed it.. and kept on asking me if I was pregnant.. but then again.. I kept on denying it.. until the day.. she and I went out to have lunch.. and she asked me again if I was pregnant.. then I said to myself.. “Tell now! this is the time! You can’t keep this forever!”.. so I told her.. she didn’t get mad… instead she was asking me.. Did I go to a doctor to have a prenatal check-up?! TShe told me.. “This is life on your womb!”.. and I said “Yes!”.. and to my surprise my younger sister was the first one to found put the I was preggy.. she run through my things and saw my appointment for an ultrasound.. and my sister was the one that told my mom that I was pregnant.. They are just waiting for me to confirm it.. but as you all know.. my family is not a happy family.. my mom and dad is not in a good condition… my dad is a very hot headed person.. so me.. my sister and my mom kept my pregnancy from my dad.. Everyone know except my dad.. so I kept on praying to God..  “Please God! Hear my prayer! please lighten my dad when the time comes!” and everyone was helping me through their prayers.. and I cried to virgin Mary to ask God to grant my wish.. My pregnancy due date is January.. and months passed.. then December came.. My mom kept on telling me to tell my dad that I’m pregnant.. Ok! may you’re wondering I’m 8 month pregnant.. and my dad haven’t noticed it.. Well.. I’m 8 month and my tummy is not that big yet.. I wear very loose clothes to hide it.. and I’m good at it..

It was December 24th that I decided to tell my dad.. I wrote him a letter and slipped it in his jacket.. when he got home.. to my surprise.. he didn’t get angry.. instead.. he told me that this baby is a gift from God.. it is a blessing.. but deep inside I know my parents are hurt.. but when the baby came out.. everyone just lightens up.. my family got closer.. my dad hot headedness was lessen.. everyone was happy.. yah! there are still complications in my family.. but  the baby is here to bring happiness.. so I called my baby “A miracle from God!”.. My baby’s name meaning is “My father is God!”.. she is a happy baby that loves to smile.. she brings happiness.. Babies are cute! Right! So guys! don’t abort your baby! Whatever it takes.. Whatever fear you have.. it will pass away as years or months go by! Just think “THIS IS MY BABY AND IT’S NOT YOURS! THIS IS GOD’S BABY! WHATEVER IT TAKES! WHATEVER THEY SAY! I DON’T CARE! THIS IS MY BABY! IT CAME FROM MY FLESH! I MADE HER!”.. as you all know.. “EVERY BABY IS A MIRACLE FROM GOD”..=)

Hello Nathalie,

My name is Rachel and I work with Becky here at Stand Up Girl. Your story is so inspiring! It really touched my heart. You are a true Stand Up Girl! I have a daughter too, and they really are miracles from God. The feeling you have when you become a mother is one that will stay with you for the rest of your life. It is amazing.

I am so thankful that you chose to not have an abortion. Just think about how different your life would be today! I can’t imagine now not having my daughter. Going to school and working, and trying to be the best mom that I can be is hard work, but it is all worth it. I would do it all over and over again just for my daughter, as I’m sure you would too.

Thanks so much for sharing your story with us!  🙂

Love, Rachel