Dear Becky-
Having read over many of the letters written by young beautiful girls, I hope that my letter will help. When I found out I was pregnant in 1972, I was 14 years old (I am now 53), abortions were illegal in Michigan. A friend of the family took me to a place where they were being performed anyway, at that time I just wanted this to be over, to be able to go back home and continue “my life” as it had never happened.
After being examined I was told to get dressed and return to the waiting room, I would soon find out I was almost 6 months pregnant. I had always been irregular, and hadn’t even had a period for very long, so a few months without one seemed like no big deal. 6 months??? needless to say I did not have an abortion, I was terrified, I believed my family would be so ashamed, I was so ashamed, I asked spirit to help me, to guide me, to stand with me…. I attended a school for unwed mothers, continued my education, met some very beautiful other girls and had my son in 1973. With much help and support from my family, we lived a happy life. There are many emotional changes however, that I was not prepared for. He became my whole world, the pride I had for him helped mask the shame I still (unconsciously) carried for myself. I buried myself in him, and as he got older and didn’t need me as much, I was lost emotionally.
The reason I want to share this is so that others may take this journey day by day, keeping their independance and teaching the same to their child. I have learned that our job as a parent is to teach our children to be a self sufficient, educated, loving, giving, growing individual. To always be there for them and yet to be ready and willing to push them out of the nest when the time is right. And to the girls who have gotten abortions, don’t continue to beat yourselves up, you did what you had to do at that time. Let that time go with love. In your heart and mind, send it off to the heavens with a loving heart and don’t look back. I would hate to see you get to be my age and still carry the guilt and pain with you, we only have one time around here and everything has a lesson in it, yours may have been forgiveness, forgiveness for yourself. Take a deep breath, hold your head high and continue to grow and learn. Help others that may be in need….Love is the common element that we all need.
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how could go go on living “your life” kinowing you just killed something that you made. i understand you cant go back now, but imagine how much your life would have changed for the better. for you to write this and say abortion is right, is not okay. i am 16 and i just found out a month ago that i am pregnant with twins. the more i hear people talk about abortion sickens me. you could easily give the baby up to a family that wants it. if you have the heart to kill it, you could as well give it up.
I am 14 and thinking I might be pregnant. The thing is the dad is 17 and mom forbided me to see him 4 months ago and now I am so scared to tell her. How do you think I should do that?
Your decision I understand was very hard, and is even hard through the rest of your life.
I to had to make the decision. I am 14 years old, and I am expecting a little one in November.
I do have support from my boyfriend and my family. But I am always going to wonder how it would be to go through school without a child. To still be a child myself instead of a mother.
I am never going to regret my little one. But will regret the decisions I made to have this happen.
I hope everything will work out for you shortly. Just keep trying, it might be hard. But never let the world fall to pieces. Keep moving on, keep thinking and be the one to build your walls back up around you.
I would like to comment back to Melissa, please have a softer heart for those that did have to go thru an abortion. My parents made me do it when I was 16 and for the past 18 yrs, I have lived with the pain from my past and have not spoke out and ever talked about it. I attended a class Breaking Free with Beth Moore and it was so painful and I am so ashamed. It's not always a choice you get to have and yet you have to live with the pain the rest of your life. I am very, very proud of you for having your twin babies and I wish you the very best life with them.
Hey, My name is Meg and I really want you to contact me, meg@standupgirl.com , I have ALSO been through that study Breaking Free and I am currently in a study called Surrendering The Secret of Abortion….Hands down, this study WILL set you FREE, not make you feel more shame…I am here for you and I would like to give you some info on how to get into a Post Abortive Study group that will help you fully embrace that freedom and forgiveness and prayerfully help your wound turn more to a scar! Call this number 1-800-395-HELP and they will give you the contact info for the closest Pregnancy Resource Center to you where they will be able to guide you to a FREE and CONFIDENTIAL study group….The one I am attending is so wonderful and the women are all so loving and gracious….Please email me and we can connect more, I am so proud of you for sharing your story and for being willing to share your pain for the benefit of others