Dear Becky-
Having read over many of the letters written by young beautiful girls, I hope that my letter will help. When I found out I was pregnant in 1972, I was 14 years old (I am now 53), abortions were illegal in Michigan. A friend of the family took me to a place where they were being performed anyway, at that time I just wanted this to be over, to be able to go back home and continue “my life” as it had never happened.
After being examined I was told to get dressed and return to the waiting room, I would soon find out I was almost 6 months pregnant. I had always been irregular, and hadn’t even had a period for very long, so a few months without one seemed like no big deal. 6 months??? needless to say I did not have an abortion, I was terrified, I believed my family would be so ashamed, I was so ashamed, I asked spirit to help me, to guide me, to stand with me…. I attended a school for unwed mothers, continued my education, met some very beautiful other girls and had my son in 1973. With much help and support from my family, we lived a happy life. There are many emotional changes however, that I was not prepared for. He became my whole world, the pride I had for him helped mask the shame I still (unconsciously) carried for myself. I buried myself in him, and as he got older and didn’t need me as much, I was lost emotionally.
The reason I want to share this is so that others may take this journey day by day, keeping their independance and teaching the same to their child. I have learned that our job as a parent is to teach our children to be a self sufficient, educated, loving, giving, growing individual. To always be there for them and yet to be ready and willing to push them out of the nest when the time is right. And to the girls who have gotten abortions, don’t continue to beat yourselves up, you did what you had to do at that time. Let that time go with love. In your heart and mind, send it off to the heavens with a loving heart and don’t look back. I would hate to see you get to be my age and still carry the guilt and pain with you, we only have one time around here and everything has a lesson in it, yours may have been forgiveness, forgiveness for yourself. Take a deep breath, hold your head high and continue to grow and learn. Help others that may be in need….Love is the common element that we all need.
