When Thomas* (23) and his 19-year-old girlfriend came to our centre, they were overwhelmed and uncertain about the future. Both young and orphaned, the couple was facing tremendous pressure from relatives who disapproved of their relationship—especially since Thomas was unemployed. His girlfriend had been forced to leave home, and in a brave act of solidarity, Thomas chose to stand by her side.
Their initial visit to the centre was driven by desperation. They were considering placing their unborn child for adoption, and we provided them with information and guidance on the process. Throughout the session, Thomas was deeply emotional, showing a powerful attachment to his unborn child. His girlfriend appeared calm, but Thomas’ vulnerability left a strong impression on us. We offered counselling, practical support in the form of food parcels and transport money, and most importantly, reassurance that they were not alone. We also connected them with a hospital social worker to assist with any adoption arrangements.
After some time, Thomas reached out to tell us that their baby boy had been born. Sadly, they had not received the expected support from the hospital’s social worker and were discharged with the baby without a clear plan. Concerned for their safety and wellbeing, we prayed for protection and guidance. We felt prompted to contact one of Thomas’ relatives—his sister—who had previously pressured him about the situation. In the meantime, her heart had softened. She agreed to support the young couple and even offered to care for the baby if needed.
Just a week before the baby was born, someone had donated a large bag full of baby clothes and essentials to our centre. We were able to pass these on to Thomas along with more food parcels. His eyes filled with tears as he received the gifts. Now, he is preparing to learn how to care for his son, and we are committed to walking this journey with him.
When Father’s Day came, we honored Thomas with a special gift. His courage, love, and growth as a young father remind us why we do this work—and we give all the glory to God.
*Name changed to protect privacy.
Submitted by: Pregnancy Help Network of South Africa ACfL beginning from a few contacts in the late 1990’s and officially launched in 2000, we have grown to over 75 contacts. Africa Cares is a networking agency that provides services to pregnancy help centers across southern Africa.
Telling your parents “I’m pregnant” can be a challenging conversation but approaching it with preparation can make it easier.
Here are some steps you could follow:
Choose the Right Moment:
Find a time when your parents are likely to be calm and not distracted by other concerns. Avoid times when they might be stressed or in a hurry.
Prepare Yourself:
Think about how you want to convey the news. Practicing what you want to say can help you feel more confident. Consider writing down your thoughts or even rehearsing with a friend.
Be Honest and Direct:
Start the conversation with something straightforward like, “Mom, Dad, I need to talk to you about something important.” Then, clearly state, “I’m pregnant.”
Be Prepared for Their Reaction:
Their initial reaction might be shocked, anger, or sadness. Give them time to process the information. They might need a moment before they can respond constructively.
Show Responsibility:
Explain what you’ve thought about or planned concerning your pregnancy. Whether it’s continuing your education, career plans, or how you intend to manage childcare, showing that you’ve considered your next steps can reassure them.
Express Your Feelings:
Let them know how you feel about the situation. Are you scared, excited, or uncertain? Sharing your emotions can help bridge understanding.
Discuss Support:
Ask for their support or advice. Even if they react negatively at first, they might be more supportive once they’ve had time to adjust. Discuss what kind of help you might need from them.
Plan for Future Conversations:
This might not be a one-time talk. Be open to further discussions where you can address more details, answer their questions, and work through any concerns.
Have Someone Else There (if necessary):
If you think having a supportive friend or partner present might help, consider asking them to join you. However, this should be based on your comfort and relationship with your parents.
Be Patient:
Give them time to adjust to the news. Their initial reaction might not reflect their long-term feelings or support.
Remember, the goal is to communicate openly and honestly while also being prepared for a range of reactions. If the conversation becomes too heated or unproductive, it might be wise to suggest revisiting the topic later when emotions have cooled down. Also, consider the support you might need a follow-up conversation, whether it’s from friends, other family members, or professional counselors.
Parenting can often feel chaotic and overwhelming, like trying to wrangle squirrels in a storm. There are messes, sleepless nights, and moments that seem trivial or even futile. But God reminds us that children are a heritage from Him (Psalm 127:3), a gift that carries eternal significance. Parenting is not a distraction from God’s work but one of the most important missions we can undertake. Through the struggles, parents rely on God daily, demonstrating to their children how to trust and persevere in faith. Children are not burdens; they are blessings, likened to arrows in a warrior’s hand (Psalm 127:4), prepared to make an impact for eternity.
Though it may feel discouraging at times when a toddler won’t listen or a child can’t sit still it’s important to remember that God uses these very moments to shape parents and their children for His purposes. Raising children builds resilience, patience, and reliance on God’s strength. Furthermore, the investment we make in their lives will outlast any worldly success or recognition we could achieve. Our efforts to guide them in faith prepare them to be impactful agents of God’s love and truth in the world.
Parenting can feel like a thankless task, but the reward is great. Children, in themselves, are the prize. Their eternal souls are entrusted to us to nurture and guide. While the world might prioritize careers, accolades, or material success, raising faithful, joyful, and wise children is an accomplishment that matters forever. Even when the challenges seem insurmountable, we can find joy and fulfillment in knowing that we are partnering with God in shaping lives that will influence eternity.
When the chaos feels overwhelming, remember that God sees the deep value in raising children. Embrace the messiness of parenting as part of His beautiful plan for both your life and your children’s future. Through the ups and downs, God equips you to nurture and release these precious arrows, ready to make a difference in the world.
My two Mothers shared gifts of life and love,
Each in her own way.
One mother shared her life with me,
My other Mother gave me life.
Two unique and beloved women,
Both said, “Yes”,
Though they never met,
Their lives became forever intertwined.
I became the connecting fabric of this Tapestry they began,
Lovingly and intricately continuing to be added to, day by day.
Fashioned to reflect the beauty and generosity My Two Mothers.
Though both have passed,
I thank the Good Lord for the gift of My Mothers,
He must have known that one was not enough,
And so, he gave me two.
