The thought of being pregnant both excites me and scares me.

I know I’m capable of raising my own child, I’ve always wanted to have kids, but I’m afraid that I will get rejected by my parents or at least my father (my father doesn’t claim the 7 grandchildren he has now, nor does he claim his other 3 kids) and I have the eerie feeling that the guy who would be the father of the child would deny it is his. Seeing as my best friend and roommate is almost in the same situation, she’s like me. She may be pregnant, but her boyfriend will not leave (he’s my cousin and well, let’s say we have the agreement that he hurts her, I hurt him. lol) We have plans to be moved out before the babies are born. The thought of being disowned by family and friends is what hurts and scares me the most. Maybe it’s because I haven’t had to deal with it before, the stress may be starting to set in with anxiety. Seems as though if I am in fact pregnant, I won’t be able to hide it ( if you know me, I am a bigger woman)…

To sum it up, I am getting stressed, worried, and frustrated.