I wrote this late one night, based on a combination of what I was feeling and what a friend of mine was going through. Have any of you ever felt this way?
“What am I? Just a body, moving from hour to hour, day to day, as life swims around me. A breath exhaled then gone forever. A flower? Maybe. But I’m ever-wilting. Lost without direction. A wave tossed on the sea. Nothing more. Nothing less. I am but one, invisible speck in this vast universe. I am only me.
Am I worth anything? Maybe. To some. But once I give them what they want, where are they? They’re all gone.
Am I beautiful? Maybe. To some. But beauty can become a curse. I attract those I do not want. To have someone force themselves on you against your will… Nothing could be worse.
Am I smart? Maybe. To some. But I know from my past mistakes that I am in no way wise. I can fool others, but I see myself through my own eyes.
Am I OK? Maybe. Many people believe so. I have become an expert actress. Genuine-looking smiles to disguise the pain. I wear masks flawlessly. Laughing to hold the tears at bay.
What am I? I don’t think I know anymore. I feel the need to cry, to scream, to run. I crave love in a way that I never have before.
What will I do? Haha. I don’t really know. Probably the same thing I always do. Take all these emotions, lock them inside my heart, and swear to never let them show.”