It's funny how fast life can change….. I mean one day you're a virgin and the next you're just…not. Well this past weekend I lost my virginity. I made it through 18 years and then I just lost it to some random guy at a party when I was drunk…… I can't blame anyone but myself. I knew what I was doing. But I went ahead and had sex anyways. Because I was curious. So now I&# 39;m not a virgin anymore…. and to be honest I don't think it was really worth it. The people I've told keep saying I'll get over it and everyone feels like that after their first time but I don't know if I will. To make matters worse I did it again two days later. I know…. stupid. Clearly I have serious issues. Too many to talk about in this one blog. I don't even know if the first guy used a condom. I mean I think he did….but I was drunk… he said he did…. but I was drunk….. I think I'm supposed to have my period next week and if not then definitely the week after. Now I'm just asking for forgiveness/guidance from God. I don't think I'm a bad person….. I just made a really bad decision.

Well after this weekend I completely understand how sex can mean one thing to one person and something totally different to another. I always thought sex and emotions went hand in hand and were inseperable but you can have sex and it can be nothing more than that and both people walk away and its just done……

 The guy keeps calling me but I don't want to talk to him. He's just another skeleton in my closet that I don't care to open up anytime soon.