Tonight for me was once again reliving my daughters pain that her biological father is not here.  As a mom there is nothing worse than your child crying and you look into their eyes and you just see they are in pain and there is nothing you can do about it.  You can give those words of encouragement and hug them as only a mom can do but it still isn't good enough.   I would take her pain times a million if given the chance.  The pain that she feels is rejection and she has a hard time trusting and loving because she feels everyone is going to do what her dad has done to her.  Somehow this man her father has done nothing for her and lives thousands of miles away but still he is hurting my baby.  Because he is not here.  Now I in no shape or form want for him to be here, it has been two and a half years.  We were together for 8 years and I thought like most teens that we would be together forever.  I am happier today then I have ever been, I am engaged and with a man that is a wonderful roll model for my daughter.  However for her to wrap her mind around that is very difficult.  If she loves my fiance she feels she is betraying her father and if she opens herself up she fears he too will leave.  My five and a half year old knows what rejection feels like and tells me she is afraid my fiance will leave too.  As a mom I wish my daughter would know only what love is.  At five you are not supposed to have to swallow and accept rejection and trust issues.  The reason I am writing this tonight is I want for every girl thinking of planning to get pregnant and is not married to please reconsider.  Not having a mom and dad together does hurt children.  Not for a day or a month but for years maybe even their whole life.  Having a child (planning it) is selfish.  I know most girls swear they will be with their boyfriend forever but you don't know that.  In fact the chance that you will be is very slim.  Who you love now you may not love 5 years from now because you will not be the same person.  As an adult you could get over your partner but children do not.  SO I FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART IM TELLING YOU WAIT UNTIL YOUR MARRIED AND ARE WITH MR. RIGHT FOR THE CHILDS SAKE.  

Jessica