that empty feeling

Dear Becky,

I am 17 and went through a lot with my pregnancy. Here’s my story.

My fiancé and I have been dating for almost a year. We got engaged in March. We did decide that we wanted a baby. I know babies are very hard to take care of and all that other stuff parents tell you about. But my Fiancé and I were total different about the situation. My mother knew about me getting pregnant but was on our side completely. She is one great mother. She supported us through it all. After going through all the hassle my dad gave my fiancé and I, we moved out. Things were very rough for awhile.

I went off the pill in the middle of the pack and didn’t get my period for over 4 1/2 months. I spotted on and off for those very long months. We kept on buying pregnancy test and they all came back negative. Until in early August. I tested on that first Friday, something just didn’t feel right. I was tired and getting sick but nope, still came back negative. That next Friday, I took another and it was positive! Amazing, freaked and scared at the same time, I told my boyfriend. He was ecstatic… We were so over joyed. My mother made me an OB/GYN appt. My levels they said were almost tripling.

By the fourth week, I started bleeding a pregnant girl’s worst nightmare. On the ultrasound, the doctor said something wasn’t right. This went on for over 2 weeks. Then finally, he said that I was miscarrying. It was the most empty feeling I have ever felt in my life.. Something so good turned out so bad. I didn’t know what to think or say.

Its been about 4 or 5 weeks since my miscarriage and all my fiancé and I can think of is have our own little one around. We are waiting till one full cycle to try again. But inside, I feel so lost. No one really knows the pain and hurt a girl goes through in situations like these.

Hope my story helps some people…