I had an abortion 3 years ago ……..

Hello

I’m 25 years old. I’m here because I can’t really talk to nobody about my abortion and that’s killing me. My story is I was dating a guy for 3 years. We always just talked about having a family together. He was the first guy I had sex with. I lost my virginity with him when I was 20 years old. I found out I was pregnant. I gave him the news. I never expected his answer. He changed right away. He told me it was not his, that he didn’t want nothing to do with me, that I was just a H*E. Wow, he just broke my heart. I was in so much pain. I couldn’t tell my parents, they are really old-fashioned. I felt like my world had ended. I could trust nobody.

He called me to meet him at the park. I thought he had changed his mind, I was so wrong. He threw $400.00 in my face and said “Do what you have to do. I don’t want that shit.” I couldn’t believe that the man I loved was telling me that. I threw the money back at him, but he played with my emotions, making me more scarred than I was. I felt I didn’t had an exit. Telling my parents I was pregnant and the guy didn’t want to do nothing with me was not an option. I fear my parents. They are so closed minded. I love them so much but they have gave me all the material things and never showed me how much they love me…

I decided to have the abortion. I didn’t know how far I was. He took me. I was crying since I got there. I told him how much I hated him, he didn’t care. I was done having the abortion. I still couldn’t believe what I had done. He took me to my car. I had it drive to my house, so weak. He left me like a piece of trash on my luck. That night, he called me and asked me, “How you feeling”. I was still crying. I told him I felt so bad. Why me? He just told me I don’t want no more drama. I just clicked. I was for 3 days in my dark room, not knowing if it was day or night, just by myself: sleeping, crying, didn’t talked to no body. I felt like I was death. Every day, I remind myself I had other options. I felt really bad I killed an innocent baby, I have never had peace after that. I can’t enjoy life. It’s so hard for me to be happy…. I hate myself for doing that. I wish I had never than that.

Wow, I feel so guilty ……….