Am I too nice to the men in my life who have done me wrong?

I never shout or act out my anger, never try and seek revenge even though it’s deserved. The way things have been going through many of my past and present relationships, it’s as though I am not able to hurt those who have hurt me. I don’t like conflict. I don’t like the heavy thoughts that weigh on my mind.  I could express my anger by screaming, yelling, destroying, being abusive, being spiteful. but it doesn’t seem to be in my character. It doesn’t mean that I let others walk all over me, but rather that when I do act I take it too far for my liking.  I want to be his friend. He doesn’t deserve it, but if I kill him more with my kindness, he is less likely to want to hurt me again. That’s just my mindset anyway…I miss him every day. I pretend that I don’t to help ease my pain…but in my heart, it hurts me a lot…I wish it didn’t. I wish he could hear my thoughts, feel my bad, and realize just how much I really care…