About 2 months ago, I had a miscarriage. When I had the miscarriage, I didn’t know I was pregnant, but the fact that ever since I had a miscarriage, I have had an empty feeling inside and can’t stop thinking about babies. I have had an empty feeling inside, which I feel like a piece of me is missing, but before the miscarriage, I had never felt like that at all.

I will never forget the day I found out. I just wanted to cry. I then met up with my ex-boyfriend, then my current one, J*, and told him he just showed no emotion at all, all he showed was anger. When I needed him the most, he was not there. He refused to talk about it and made me feel it was my fault. That memory will always stop with me of us two on the beach and the way he acted. That afternoon, he was sat texting other lasses :/. After he left me, he went and met up with one of his mates and actually talked about how he felt (I only found that out not long ago after we had broke up). But that day I will never forget it :/. Two days later, I found out my boyfriend had cheated on me so we broke up. But I feel I have not been able to talk to anyone close to me other than him because he actually understands what it feels like. We have only been able to talk openly about it once and that was after we had broken up when he actually expressed how he felt. But he doesn’t understand that I am still hurt because when we talked, we only talked about how he felt. :/

I don’t want you to think I am just doing this for attention or anything else, because to be honest, all I want right now is someone to talk to who has experienced what I have and a way to ever feel whole again and truly happy.