So my name is Astana, this is my 2nd time on this site. 5 years ago I created my first account, I had just went through an abortion, something that still bothers me til this very day. I was 5 months pregnant when my mom made me get it and I was 14 years old. Talk about torture, pain, and suffering; i’ve been through a great deal of pain because of that. I’ve been beaten and abused for things that stem back to the abortion. Well a year later my doctor told me that I have PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) and now my head is filled with the thoughts that I’ll never be able to get pregnant again, and it’s driving me crazy because I’ve even tried to purposely get pregnant by a few dudes. Of course it didn’t happen but this all just makes me so sad, i feel like that one time when I was 14 was my only chance and I was so close to having that bundle of joy for it to all b taken away frm me. My friend is about to have a baby, she didnt want him at first but I talked her into keeping him, and that makes me happy but I also envy her. On the other hand if any of u decide to look at my photo album on here you’ll see a little boy in there, his name is Kyree and I love him more than any of u could ever know, he’s my cousins baby and he means a whole lot to me because he sort of helped me get through my abortion. Idk what I was gonna have but I think it was a boy; well Kyree is the age my son is suppose to be. The doctors told me I was due at the end of june beginning of july well Kyree was born at the beginning of august and his mom always needed a baby sitter, so I’ve kept him for her since day one. It’s funny because he’s exactly how I pictured my baby to look, he’s only a month younger and he’s white and black, my baby was half mexican, but he looks mexican! lol. everyone always thought he was my baby just because he looks mexican. he was the greatest gift i could’ve got at that time. I’ll always have a special bond with him because of that. Now my biggest problem is….will i ever get pregnant again?