DEAR BECKY,

I AM 19 YEARS OLD AND I AM I THINK 8 OR 9 WEEKS PREG. MY SITUATION IS THAT I WANT THIS BABY MORE THAN ANYTHING I REALLY DO BUT I HAVE RECENTLY LOST MY HOME AND MY JOB! I HAVE NO MONEY, NO CAR. I AM NOT IN COLLEGE EVEN THOUGH I WANT TO BE. I HAVE NO FAMILY HERE IN VA WITH ME AND I GOT MY GRANDMA TO SAY THAT I CAN LIVE IN HER RV IN FL BUT IF I DO THAT, THEN THE BABY’S FATHER CAN’T SEE ME BECAUSE HE IS BLACK AND I AM WHITE!!! I LOVE THE BABY’S FATHER MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF BUT THAT SITUATION MAKES THIS EVEN MORE DIFFICULT BECAUSE HE RECENTLY LOST HIS JOB TOO AND HIS HOME!! (WE WERE LIVING TOGETHER AS FRIENDS OF 5 OR 6 YEARS AND STARTED SLEEPING TOGETHER!) HE IS IN SCHOOL AND IS ALMOST DONE AND DOESN’T WANT TO SETTLE DOWN YET. HE SAYS IN THE FUTURE, MAYBE WHEN WE HAVE OUR LIVES TOGETHER AND FATE BRINGS US BACK… WHICH IT ALWAYS HAS… BUT I CAN’T DO THIS ALONE AND MY SITUATION IS HORRIBLE!!!

I WANT THE BABY BUT AT THE SAME TIME, I AM THINKING ABOUT HOW I GREW UP WITHOUT MY DAD AND A MOM WHO WAS SINGLE AND NEVER THERE FOR ME AND TO THIS DAY STILL ISN’T BUT TRRIES IN SMALL WAYS TO BE THERE….AND I HATED MY LIFE!@!!!! EVERYTHING ALWAYS GOES BAD FOR ME BECAUSE OF MY DECISIONS AND I THINK AT THE TIME IT’S A GOOD DECISION BUT THEN AS TIME GOES BY AND THINGS GET EVEN WORSE, THAT IN FACT IT WAS A BAD DECISION!!! MY FAMILY THINKS AN ABORTION IS THE BEST THING FOR THE FATHER, THE BABY, AND FOR I AND THE FATHER IS NOW KIND OF AGREEING ON THAT. BUT I KNOW HOW I AM GOING TO FEEL AFTERWARDS AND I KNOW THAT IN MY HEART I REALLY DON’T WANT AN ABORTION. BUT AT THE SAME TIME, IT DOES SEEM LIKE IT’S THE RIGHT THING TO DO BECAUSE I WON’T GIVE IT UP FOR ADOPTION. I’M SORRY BUT I CAN’T DO THAT!!! THAT IS MY BABY AND IF I CARRY IT AND GIVE IT LIFE, IT WILL STAY WITH ME BUT I DON’T THINK IT IS FAIR TO BRING A LIFE INTO MY LIFE WHEN MY LIFE IS NOT GOING WELL AT ALL!!!!

I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO AND EVEYONE I TALK TO IS SET TO ONE OPINION OR THE OTHER AND NO ONE IS NEUTRAL AND ABLE TO HELP BASED ON WHAT IS RIGHT FOR ME AND THE BABY RATHER THAN JUST THEIR OWN OPINION!!! I NEED HELP FROM SOMEONE WHO WONT JUDGE ME OR THE SITUATION BASED ON WHAT THEY BELIEVE BUT WHAT WOULD BE RIGHT FOR ME AND THE CHILD AND FOR THE FATHER ALSO!!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME!!!! I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ON MY LIVING SITUATION AND THAT IS THE HARDEST THING CONSIDERING THAT I HAVE NO JOB MONEY OR CAR!!!!! I AM NOT STABLE YET BUT I REALLY WANT TO BE AND I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!

PLEASE HELP?????!!!!