My period is 2 months late,
and It’s stress, I know It Is.
Being late and all though, the thought
of having a baby amazes me and warms my heart.<3
I love babies and toddlers, and kids of all ages.<3
I know being a teen mother would be extremely difficult,
and I would be putting my life on hold, in all aspects.
But If It happens, I am by no means questioning It.
I wouldn’t have to think about It, I will love my baby
unconditionally; with their father in my life or not.
I wasn’t pregnant, what a relief off my shoulder!!! But still, had I been pregnant, my life would have been totally different!
I would never have met my new boyfriend or been able to experience life outside living with Mom and Dad. But, I do want to be a mother.
My mom I found out has breast cancer this week. I can’t believe it! My mom, the only one I’ll ever have is in such danger!!! Oh dear.
OK… Well the day I wrote my blog about possibly being pregnant…I was in a terrible car accident and I am pretty beat up from it and if I WAS pregnant then I’m not so sure I am now…
If you wanna know about the car accident, then just sign my guest book and I’ll reply…
I am 15 years old and I just had an abortion not too long ago and I regret it. Made the same mistakes and now I’m pregnant again. Now I got to live with it. I know it’s going to be hard but I gotta learn from my mistakes.
So all you teens out there reading this, please don’t go and have sex. Just wait till you get married. I don’t care if you think this boy is the love of your life. That is something very special to you and you don’t want to lose it just to anybody. No matter what he tells you, don’t listen. If he really loves you, he will wait. So please, think twice cause I’ve been through it and learned the hard way.
We all go through trials, and nobody’s pain can be compared to anybody else’s. And yet, sometimes, it just all seems too much.
When anxiety overwhelms you, and all you can feel is a creeping sense of panic, sometimes it’s so hard to stay strong.
But, hah! aren’t I the strong one? The one that everyone looks at and says, she is strong. It’s like a label I have to wear. The one that looks good every day, clean, well-dressed, the one that people want to “get with”. Sometimes, I’m not sure whether people actually miss that there is a person underneath there, whose smile is sometimes fake and who’s just a little girl waiting to hold somebody’s hand so they could lead her out of this darkness.
The one that has so much potential. Yes, I have a lot of potential, but I don’t know if you know how much effort it takes to get that potential through, when all I can feel is panic; and I just want it to stop.
I’m not stopping living for one bit, I’m not stopping hope. I’m still dancing to the sound of life, and I’m happy to be here, I’m enjoying it all. But it feels like I’m dancing on quicksand.
Like a life thread slipping away out of my hands, like, after holding on so long, slipping back into darkness.
I have a past, you know. Everybody has pasts, and I’m no different. It’s just getting to me.
I don’t want to let mine eat me up though, and I’m trying not to. I’m trying…There are people holding out their hands and I am grabbing on for dear life, while continuing to dance on this quicksand. Let me just hope I hold on. Let me hope I carry on with this dance I have to do.
I had my doctor’s appointment yesterday. They did a urine test and told me what I already knew… Surprise! You’re pregnant! So Monday, I’m making appointments for an ultrasound for an actual due date, to get some blood work done (ick!), and for my first prenatal visit.
So it looks like I’m now in this for the long run. I’m kind of excited. I wish I knew the sex so I could start buying things. I’m almost 8 weeks right now. I’ve been feeling very queezy, tired, and lonely. I wish I could stop crying for no apparent reason cos I’m driving myself looney, I wouldn’t want to be around me, haha, but I guess I have no choice. So now I’m rushing to get my new place up and running before I’m too stinkin’ big to do anything worthwhile. I have to paint 5 rooms, stain floors in 2 rooms, tile in 3 rooms, replace a sink and cabinet, and get the plumbing in my bathroom’s claw foot tub. I give myself 2 weeks. Otherwise, I’m figuring out what to do for stretch marks. So if you have any remedies send ’em my way. I will love you for it!!
I’m trying to be prepared as possible so if anyone knows anything you think would benefit me, I would love to hear it! I’m just trying to make it like everyone else.
