I Hate When People Judge Me About Me Getting Pregnant At 16.
I Know It’s Not A Good Thing Especially When You’re Still A Kid Yourself And In High School. But I Want To Be A Mom. And I Know My Boyfriend Loves Me And Would Be There Through Thick And Thin For Me And Help. But It’s My Choice And My Life. If I Want To Or Not. Everyone Else Just Needs To Stop Judging Me About It.
So I already had one baby.
She’s 6 months born on April 4th. I was 15 and turned 16 the month after she was born, but now I might be pregnant again. I’m really scared I don’t know if I can handle 2 babies at 16. I will never get an abortion and adoption scares me, but really what am I supposed to do? Babies aren’t cheap.
I feel so stupid
I was diagnosed with endometriosis when I was 15. Told I wouldn’t have kids unless I started early and got pregnant before 25, but it would still be a sly chance.
I lost my virginity at 17 and started trying to have a baby, knowing it was something I’ve always wanted. Ever since I was little, it was always what do you want to be when you grow up? For me, it was never a nurse or a doctor or something like that it was always a mommy and a wife. It’s been a year and 8 months since I lost my virginity, had a few boyfriends, and slept with 4 including my current boyfriend. I didn’t sleep around trying to make a baby if that’s what you’re thinking. But, those attempts failed. At first, I was thinking well maybe I’m not meant to have kids? But as it all went on, I thought maybe they were just not the right people? Maybe God’s plan is for it to be the right person for me? Not getting pregnant by my ex’s was a blessing in my eyes because they did nothing but hurt me.
Now, I’m with my current boyfriend. He’s been nothing, but sweet to me. He proved that Chivalry is not dead. I just had trouble picking the right person to be with. His family is amazing. They all treat me like one of their own. I know I’m only 18 now and it may sound crazy that I’m actually trying to get pregnant, but I want kids and all of my siblings have kids. I’m not even the youngest child. I’ve never thought it was fair, but everything happens for a reason, right?
But as I’m saying this, my period hasn’t made it here yet. It’s running late and I pray every day that it doesn’t come. It has only been a day or two since it was supposed to be here so I’m just waiting a little while to see if it’s gunna get here. I get scared that I will never have kids because every period is another layer of scarring and it just gets that much harder. The few friends I’ve talked to say to take a test. Well, I’m afraid to, I don’t want it to come up negative. I feel like I sound silly sometimes and I feel like I’m crazy because I’m young and I cry about not having a baby because my friends and siblings have kids and then there’s me. I feel empty when I think about it. When I think about all of them who didn’t want babies at this age and they all have them and I’m the one that has a problem and wants a baby and I can’t have one.
I dread going to the doctor because all I ever get is bad news. I try to stay strong, keep my head up, and keep faith in God. It helps, but I have those weak days when I just feel like it’s never going to happen. My current boyfriend is excited. He wants to have a baby. He’s been through college, has a job, and if he had a baby, it would be the first grandchild for his mom. So I guess this happening with him is a good thing. Anyway, I guess whoever reads this keep me in your prayers.
Hopefully, the next test I take will say positive. :]
1. How many weeks along are you?
– 33 weeks.
2. Do you know the gender of your baby?
– Baby boy. (:
3. Have you picked out names? (Share if you like)
– Dallas James.
4. Have you had colustrum/breast milk yet?
– Yes, but not in a while. It happened once.
5. Have you had Braxton Hicks?
– I’m not quite sure.
6. Has your baby dropped yet?
– I don’t know that either.. :/
7. Are you a FTM?
– Yes.
8. Who is most excited about baby besides you?
– My boyfriend (FOB). (:
9. Are you measuring ahead? Behind? normal?
-I don’t know… :/
10. Do you have a linea negra?
– If that’s the line on your stomach, no.
11. Do you have swelling?
– My ankles, yes.
12. Do you have mood swings?
– Ohh yes..
13. Do you have/had morning sickness?
– Nopeee.
14. Do you/did you have cravings? What for? Any aversions?
– Ice cubes! I want lasagna or speghetti as well.
15. What other pregnancy symptoms have you had?
– Missed period, smell.. Not a lot though.
16. What things do you still have to buy for baby?
– More bottles, more crib sheets and that’s about it plus the essentials. But I have everything. (:
17. Do you have a scheduled induction date, c-section, going natural, midwife….
– Not sure yet.
18. Are you still working?
– Never worked.
19. How many ultra sounds have you had?
– 1.
20. Have you had a baby shower?
– Nope.
21. What are you most tired of hearing re: pregnancy?
– If they can feel my stomach.. I don’t like it, lol.
22. Where does baby kick?
– Everywhere!
23. Where have you grown most aside from baby bump?
– My boobs.
24. Do you have stretch marks?
– None on my stomach but my boobs, yes.
25. Can you still shave?
– Yes.
26. What can’t you do now, that you could earlier in pregnancy?
– I can’t see my toes anymore, lol.
I am going through a hard time at the moment so I wanted to share my story.
Just over a month ago, I found out that I was about 5 weeks pregnant. I was so surprised because I had unprotected sex so many times and nothing had happened so I guess I considered myself “broken” in that department. My partner of almost 7 years found out about the pregnancy and was extremely unhappy- In fact, he told me that if I had this baby, then he would leave me. We are both only 22 and he told me that we weren’t ready and had to have a house, make more money, etc. before we could even think about having kids. I tried to tell him that maybe having a baby would be a good thing and make us grow up, but every time I tried to mention it, he wouldn’t want to listen.
I went to see my GP and told her that I was thinking about an abortion. She had to give me blood tests and sent me off to have an ultrasound before she could refer me to the clinic, so I did that. I had my ultrasound when I was 7 weeks pregnant and, to be honest, I couldn’t see much except the little formation of a baby. It really did touch my heart. I spent the next couple of weeks thinking about what to do. I knew if I kept this baby, then I’d have to give up my life with my partner. I also knew that I had a lot of growing up to do and that I wasn’t ready to look after a baby. I saw a counselor who pretty much told me to do what I wanted to do. I tried to get advice from my parents, friends, and colleagues and they all said something similar- “Do what your heart tells you to do.” “Whatever decision you make is the right one”.
Week 8 of my pregnancy, I went to the abortion clinic. I was there for 3 hours. First, I had to see a counselor who asked me about 20 times if I was sure this was what I wanted to do, then I had to see a doctor who went through the procedure with me, then finally I had to see a nurse who booked an appointment for the abortion.
My abortion was all booked in. For the week waiting for it, I had so many emotions going through my head. When you are pregnant, your whole body changes and you do have a connection with the baby. There were times when I wanted to back out and keep the baby and times when I knew I was doing the right thing because of the situation I’m in now.
Less than 24 hours ago, I was just over 9 weeks pregnant and thought I was making the right decision and got to the hospital ready to have the abortion. They called my name and brought me into a waiting room with about 9-10 other girls who were having an abortion that same day. The doctors and nurses were very friendly and comforting. We got shown to our beds where we were given pills and sedatives to make us relax. There was a certain pill that had to be taken to make your muscles relax so it was easier for the doctor to do the procedure- the nurse told me that after that pill was taken, then there was no changing my mind as the pill can cause a miscarriage. She handed me the pill. I looked at it for a second, then swallowed it, and at that moment, I did feel a sense of loss- I knew there was no going back.
The doctor called me in to the room and I lay on the operating table, I got given a local anesthetic in my cervix and within literally 3 minutes, the procedure was all done- my baby had been taken out 🙁 At the time, because I had so much medication, I didn’t really have much emotion about it because I was so “drugged up”, but when I got home that’s when things started to sink in.
I started feeling guilty and upset. I felt a real sense of loss and emptiness. My world just didn’t feel the same anymore. I know I made a mistake and now there is no going back. I just can’t help wondering what my baby would have been like. It is that strangest feeling knowing that it was growing inside of you and then it suddenly being taken away. I know now that if I could go back then, I would.
Please girls, please make sure you are 100% in your decision if you have to make one. I know that what I did was immature and down right stupid. Now I have to live the rest of my life thinking “what if?” and living with the hurt and guilt of what I did. In my opinion, giving life to a beautiful baby- YOUR baby- will probably be the best thing that could ever happen to you.
I really hope that no one has to feel the way that I do.
Seems like everyone has a blog about their’s, so here’s mine (:
My boyfriend & I had only been together a very short time before we thought I was pregnant, like a month. We hadn’t used protection since we’d been together (He didn’t think he worked down there & I relied on the pull-out method. Usually always worked), and one day he didn’t pull out soon enough, so after he’s like “OMG, I did a little in there!” We both kind of freaked out for about an hour. I went home after a few more hours. We were texting that night and one of us brought up what if I got pregnant, what we’d do, and all those questions… Well, we got ourselves a little excited about it. So, I took a test at the end of March, it was negative. We were both disappointed. After that, we just kind of tried to get pregnant.
I took a test before my last period, it was negative. Okay, disappointed again. Then I got my period (April 1). This was all around Prom time, might I add. We had sex a few more times after that. Being Prom season & that my boyfriend was a senior, I had to get a dress. I picked it out in the beginning of April, got it fitted the second week of April, and went to wear it on April 30th. It fit fine at the fitting and when I brought it home. A few days before prom I put it on. I thought ‘Wow, my boobs are getting big. NICE!!’. I was gaining weight because I was overcoming bulimia, so I attributed it to that. Prom was a nice night (: A few days prior to prom, my dad took me to get my ear pierced. I had already had the same spot done on my right ear, so I didn’t expect the left to get so infected like it did. I went to the doctor to get antibiotics the Monday following prom (May 2). I took them and after the second pill (one in the morning, one at night), my kidneys started to KILL. I have microbeign hematuria so I thought that was what the problem was. I went back to the doctor (May 5). They asked me the usual questions, antibiotics & all the normal stuff, and my period. I said it was April 1st, so I was a couple days late which wasn’t unusual. So on the pee sample he took, he ran a pregnancy test. The results came back that I was unbelievably dehydrated. Oh, and pregnant. I was about 5 weeks along when I found out. I immediately called my boyfriend [as soon as the doctor had stepped out of the room] and scream-whispered, “I’m Pregnant!!” He said. “Ok….” I later found out he was with his mom in the car so he couldn’t freak out like he wanted to. He didn’t believe me at first, so I took two more, both positive.
So, 20 weeks later, here I am. Near 26 weeks pregnant, living at my father’s house with my boyfriend, with a happy healthy very active baby boy on the way (:
Just thought I’d share <3
